


The Bully, the Pussy, and the Sociopath

by orphan_account



Series: The Bully, the Pussy, and the Sociopath [1]
Category: Bully: Scholarship Edition
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Established Relationship, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mentions of Institutional Abuse, Original Character(s), Past School-Bicycle!Jimmy, Post-Game
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-09
Updated: 2017-04-11
Packaged: 2018-01-15 02:37:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 42,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1288123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A fairytale romance in all it's crude, vulgar glory</p><p>*Abandoned*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what I should warn for, but it's Bully and the characters are punk ass kids. Casual mentions of underage drinking, gay sex, and somewhat violent sex. Y'know. All the things that make life fun. And mentions of non-con, but nothing detailed.
> 
> This is unbeta'd, and I suck at punctuation, so forgive me.

Dating Gary, Jimmy has come to find, is exactly like one would expect it to be. Or maybe the exact opposite if you're stupid enough to come to the conclusion that one Gary Smith might act differently towards his boyfriends. That's not the case. 

Their relationship is unconventional at best and downright masochistic at worst. At the end of the day, the boy's still a sociopath, regardless of the fact that Petey keeps him consistent with his meds.

The thing is though, that Jimmy doesn't want him any other way. He likes that Gary is so contrastingly different to Petey. Is so contrasting to himself. That extremity is what balances them out so well. And it is something that takes all three of them to work, not that he's ever considered their threesome breaking into a couple or, god forbid, back to three loners.

See, Gary is manipulative on principle, but Jimmy's gotten particularly good at not being manipulated. Jimmy knows how to push back in a way that pisses the other off and, as he'd been quick to discover, was also a pretty good way to get the older boy hot and bothered. Pete's still as easy a target as always and Gary's no less viscous, but now all bruised egos are fixed through sex, which is agreeable for all three boys involved.

Petey's the smart one. The calm one. The rational one. The one that gets his boys out of the trouble they so often got themselves into. Pete's the one who needs more affection but less reminders that what they are is real, even if it's not everyone else's token example of a healthy relationship. He knows that despite the teasing and the taunting and the overall abuse he still faces from Gary, the older boy is still going to be curled into him at night, one third of a Pete sandwich. Pete's also the one who still faces the threat of having his ass handed to him on a daily basis, though dating two of the most mentally fucked boys in school has helped that a great deal.

Jimmy though, he's the one that keeps the relationship from caving in on itself. Because sometimes Gary needs to be told to back the fuck off. Needs to be reminded that Pete is someone he's suppose to care about. 

And sometimes Petey needs to be reminded of things too. Mostly that he needs to jump off his high horse, because Gary may be a dick, but Pete knew what he was getting into when he entered this thing that they have. That he's no better than his boyfriends just because he's retained some morals.

It's a balancing act, and it's not easy, but it works out so well for them in a way that no one else could ever possibly understand. Jimmy is violent and stupid. Petey's a giant pussy. Gary is insane. They shouldn't get along any better than they did back in freshman year, but they make it work.

—

Pete's in the common room watching TV, or attempting to at least since Gary's hellbent on annoying him in any way that he can. That's not unusual, even prior to them happening. But it's the little things that Jimmy thinks only he notices that make it so obvious things have changed. Gary's legs slung over Pete's for instance, or the way Petey's not even really watching TV, but pretends to anyways because if Gary gets his way, he won't have an excuse to stay anymore. Gary always needs excuses.

"Hopkins, my boy!" Gary taunts, pulling Jimmy out of his thoughts to find both boys staring back at him. He sneers in return, walking up to the back of the couch, and grabbing the boy's chin. Gary hates being handled like this. Pete watches on in interest, but neither boy makes any attempt to move from the couch.

"I thought you were going to work on being so boring, Gary," he taunts back, smirking at the look of outrage that instantly takes over the older boy's face and Pete's gasp of surprise. Jimmy pulls Gary into a kiss, but it's short lived. 

Gary pulls his faces away and turns his head, a clear sign that Jimmy's succeeded in what they like to call, 'making Gary a pouty bitch', though he'll deny venomously that he's pouting if you bring it up to him. It's one of Jimmy's favorite past times.

"Where have you been, Jimmy?" Pete asks when it's clear that they're both being ignored, and Gary won't be saying any more despite remaining where he is on top of Petey. The oldest boy looks at them from the corner of his eye, an obvious sign he's interested in the answer but isn't going to give them the satisfaction of knowing so.

Jimmy rolls his eyes and leans over the couch. "We're going to a party, boys," he announces in lieu of an answer. Pete pales which in and of itself isn't too surprising. It's no secret that the smallest of the three isn't the partying time, especially not with the type of people that might be inviting Jimmy to a party in the first place. If Petey had his way, they'd spend all their free time either off campus or hidden away in the dorm. Or worse yet, in the library actually focusing on school.

"Fantastic! Which of the conforming little shits are throwing this one?" Gary asks with genuine enthusiasm, attention clearly regained. 

Gary actually likes partying, which had surprised both of the boys when they'd found out. The boy's always been, well, severely socially retarded to put it lightly, but they figure it has more to do with him finding joy in reaffirming his superiority. Not to mention, he's possessive to a fault, and Jimmy's a little surprised he hasn't tried to pee on them to stake his claim.

In the beginning, Jimmy's invitation to parties had been exclusively for him. The host had always made it quite clear that Gary wasn't invited, and Jimmy had found leaving Pete to soothe the oldest boy's agitation was the best line of action, which worked out just fine since the younger boy didn't have any inclination to go anyway.

Now though, much to Petey's displeasure, it's common knowledge that an invite to Jimmy is an invite to both his boys as well. He'd come back to the dorm one too many times to find himself on Gary's bad side for leaving them alone to go hang out with losers when he could have been 'enjoying the sausage fest' they'd had in his absence. It was never mentioned that people mostly came to accept this unspoken rule because it meant the two boys would stop fucking in the common room while the dorm was vacated.

"I'm sorry, did you say something?" Jimmy teases, grinning at the older boy's growl.

"Who, James?" he demands, gritting his teeth in the way he always does when he's trying his best to play nice. It's quite the improvement from not ever giving a shit about other people's feelings. Jimmy holds his hands up in surrender, but he's still got that shit-eating grin on his face.

"Calm down. The preps."

"Yes!" he hisses approvingly at the same time that Petey groans. Gary rolls his eyes and flicks the younger boy's forehead. "And what's your fucking problem, Femme-boy? That means they're breaking out the good booze."

"It means everyone is going," he counters. It’s obvious he’s annoyed by the way he throws Gary's legs off his lap. Pete storms out with a huff, and Gary raises his eyebrows at Jimmy.

"Jesus. Someone's on their period," he taunts with a grin, but Jimmy only rolls his eyes and follows the smaller boy out of the room. Gary huffs and calls out to the two boys who have likely escaped back to Pete and Gary's room. "No, that's fine. I'll just sit out here by myself."

"Good. No one wants your stupid face in here anyways," Jimmy calls back, and Gary can hear the laughter in his tone. He gives it a few moments to prove he's not coming in because he doesn't want to be alone, because that's definitely not why, before he follows the other boys into the room.

They have a simple set up. Jimmy has his own room as he did the year he first came, but he honestly only uses it for appearances and to house all his shit. All three boys sleep in Gary and Petey's room with the twin beds pushed together, leaving enough room for all of them as long as they're curled together. 

That's never a problem. It's rather pathetic how dependent they've come on sleeping together, spoiled by a Summer where sleeping together was never a question.

Sometimes Pete sleeps on his own in Jimmy's bed, when he's mad and can't push it aside long enough to get through the night in bed with them both. But Jimmy always sleeps with Gary in those instances, even when it's only Gary that Pete's mad at. Gary never sleeps alone. Not since Happy Volts.

"Can you two handle getting ready alone, or do I need to stay and make sure you behave yourselves?" Jimmy asks pointedly, but leaves the room before Gary can make a smart ass comment in response.

"Pete," Gary sings, walking up behind the boy and pushing his hips into Pete's. "Don't be such a little bitch." He sneaks an arm around his waist, popping open the button of his jeans before shoving his hand down the front of the boy's underwear. Pete lets out an honest to god squeak and Gary grins in victory.

"Stop," Pete demands though it comes out as more of a question, and Gary takes it as such, refusing to unwrap his fingers from the boy's dick. Instead, he buries his face in the junction between Petey's neck and shoulder and bites bruises into the skin. It's a pre-party ritual at this point, and Pete knows that Gary will pull Jimmy aside before they go and suck matching bruises into his skin too.

"Put on less stupid pants," the older boy instructs, pulling away and turning to go change.

"Excuse me?"

"We're going to a party, Femme-boy, not the library. Change," he explains, annoyance at having to state the obvious laced in his tone. "Wear those jeans we got when we went shopping over the Summer. The ones that make your ass look fuckable."

"Gary!" Petey cries, flushing at the offhanded compliment.

"Femme-boy!" Gary turns back to Petey, already having stripped off his shirt and working on his jeans. Pete's a pretty sight right now, pink in a blush that Gary knows from experience travels down the entire length of his body and standing there stupidly with his pants open. "You look like a fag," he says lovingly.

If anything, Pete just gets redder, though more in anger than embarrassment now. "What?" he asks incredulously. Gary just shrugs and turns back toward their dresser, kicking off his jeans. Petey tries to regain his composure enough to say something else, but by the time he has, Gary just flings the jeans he'd been talking about at the smaller boy's face. Pete figures he's better off just shutting up and doing as he's told. Just this once.

—

Jimmy can hear them half-heartedly arguing from his bedroom and rolls his eyes. Honestly, beyond the fucking and the way Gary's eyes soften sometimes when he's looking at Pete and thinks no one is looking, it's hard to tell anything has changed. Even before, in freshman year before Gary and Petey and Jimmy had become Gary and Petey and Jimmy, Gary had held an odd sort of obsession with them. 

He didn't want them, but he didn't want anyone else to have them either. He was like a spoiled child who didn't want to share his rejected toys. It was enough knowing they were his. And they were his. Always had been from the respective days they’d been unfortunate enough to have Gary stumble into their lives.

"Are you dumbasses almost dressed?" he calls, tugging a nicer shirt than the school's uniform he had been wearing over his head.

"Yes mommy!" is the sarcastic reply he gets back.

Jimmy scoffs and exits the room, coming to a halt in front of his two boys. Both look good, but Gary owns it better than Pete. Gary spends every waking moment believing he is god sent and, while mostly just fucking annoying, the confidence is also extremely attractive.

Pete's different. He's standing there picking at himself, alternating between thumbing at the bruises on his throat and tugging at his jeans. He doesn't know just how much he turns both his boys on. That innocence and ignorance of his own desirability is annoying and attractive in an entirely different way.

"Ready to go, ladies?" he asks sweetly. All he's given in return is an offended scoff and Gary motioning for him to lead the way.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enter really important original character; sorry, not sorry.

“I always knew the trust fund brats were good for something,” Gary says pleasantly as they approach Harrington House. Pete had been right about one thing; the yard is littered with people in varying stages of undress.

“I can’t believe they’re already that drunk,” Petey comments, distaste at the statement clear in his voice.

“This is our school you’re talking about. None of them need a drink to undress,” Jimmy counters with a grin.

“That’s rich coming from the school’s bicycle.”  Jimmy shoots his arm out and grabs Gary’s wrist, roughly tugging him so that their faces are nearly touching.

“You need to back off,” he hisses, glaring harshly. A look of shock flits across Gary’s face, but is quickly replaced with a matching glare. They stare at each other so intensely that Pete thinks they’re going to punch each other. Or kiss.

“Guys?” Petey whispers.

“Jimmy! I’m so glad you could make it. It’s simply not a party without you,” a familiar voice calls, and Gary rips his wrist out of Jimmy’s hold.

“Gord,” Jimmy answers, but his tone is less than pleasant and though he turns his body to face the prep, his eyes are still on Gary. The older boy laughs under his breath and turns away, staring towards the house, but seemingly at nothing. Jimmy knows the boy well enough to know that he’s pulling himself together.

“Come on, Pete. Let’s go find the booze,” he says finally.

“I don’t think-” Petey starts, but is interrupted by a meaningful look from Jimmy and a nod towards the house. “Right.  Okay.”

The two of them walk towards the house, but Pete can’t help but sends looks back at Jimmy as they go.

“Well, that was dreadfully awkward,” Gord comments, watching the two boys retreat.

“Sometimes Gary doesn’t like being right.”

“Oh, I find that very hard to believe,” the prep says, cocking an eyebrow.  Jimmy laughs, but it’s more bitter than humorous. Gord doesn’t comment if he notices.  Sometimes it surprises Jimmy how well he knows Gary compared to everyone else.  “But that is far beyond the point.” Suddenly, Jimmy’s personal space is being invaded.

“Oh yeah?  What’s the point then?” he asks, crossing his arms, and Gord gives a look of shock at the harsh tone.

“What have those boys done to you? This is not what I expected, I must admit. Don’t you miss us, Jimmy?” His tone is hurt, which might be the funniest thing Jimmy’s heard all day. Gord doesn’t do hurt, he does inconvenienced.

“And what us are you speaking of, Vendome?” Gord makes an offended noise and distances himself slightly.

“I won’t be treated this way by a boy who considers a sociopath good company to keep,” he trills, puffing up in a way that reminds Jimmy of a displeased cat.  

Gord has always reminded Jimmy of a cat. Slinking around the place like he’s better than everyone else, even the rest of his rich kid group, and preening like the narcissist he is. Pet him the right way, and he’ll be as loyal as he has to be to make it a constant, but loyalty is a fickle thing.

“Are mental disorders not deliciously dirty enough for you?”  

And that must be the last straw because suddenly Jimmy’s cheek stings, and Gord is storming away. He rubs at his cheek as he watches the other boy go. Jimmy wonders if this will be the last time he hears from Gord, at least for sexual purposes. 

It’s not like Jimmy and his boys are a new thing, and the prep was the only one of Jimmy’s previous conquests that seemed unable to take a hint. He never was very good at taking no for an answer.

Almost everyone else had seemed, if not happy, then very accepting of the three boys' relationship when it had come out. The confusion was there of course. It’s not every day that you start dating the boy who tried to push you off a building. Most of the responses had been curiosity, though whether that was because they were too afraid to start shit with Jimmy about it or they were genuinely accepting, he didn't know.

When people ask how they came to be, Gary always gets this particularly filthy grin on his face and tells them that it all started because of really good hate sex. That’s not necessarily true. I mean, they did have sinfully good hate sex, but it was more than that too.  

It was several things like Gary being locked up and Petey’s overwhelming concern for a boy who tormented him his entire adolescent life. Like Jimmy sleeping with more people than even Lola can compete with.  

When Gary had been released early sophomore year with strict orders that he keep up with his meds, they’d all been faced with that awkward moment where they had to look at each other and decide whether or not they were going to acknowledge freshman year. Once they had decided they wouldn’t, they had to decide how. How were they going to move on. The sex had been Jimmy’s idea. Kind of. It became a thing quickly, getting serious over the summer.

They spent the entire summer practically glued to one another. Gary would grumble that he didn’t need babysitters, but always accepted the invitation back to one of their houses at the end of the day.  His was the one place they hadn’t slept at at night, though why, Jimmy has no idea.  Pete seems to know; he’s never questioned it, and he’d given Jimmy an odd look the day he’d asked. Gary had pretended like he didn’t hear him.

The way Gary explained it, you either hurt others or you self-destruct.  Hurting other people was no longer on the table, and why self-destruct on your own?  The idea was to self-destruct together, but somehow it became something more than that.  But maybe that’s an obvious consequence of knowing someone so completely.

—

Jimmy finds his boys hidden away in a corner, sitting against a wall.  Gary’s talking animatedly to Zoe about something, drink forgotten at his side. The girl looks amused, but Pete looks horrified, and Jimmy figures that’s his cue to intervene.

“And at that point it would be a piece of cake to get away with it,” he hears once he manages to make his way through all the people. Whatever it is they’re talking about, Gary is really involved in the conversation.

“Yeah, but where would you hide the body?” Zoe questions, shooting Jimmy an amused smile before her attention is back on Gary. Jimmy laughs because of course that’s what they’re talking about. He should have known better than to assume any differently, especially with Pete’s face looking like he actually watched Gary murder someone. Gary’s eyes follow Zoe’s to Jimmy at the sound of the boy’s laugh, but he quickly averts them.

“I have to take a piss,” he announces, pushing himself to his feet.

“Thank you for sharing with the class. Can you go by yourself, or do you need some help?” Jimmy tries to tease, but Gary is silent and unresponsive as he walks off, presumably to find a bathroom.  Sulking, Jimmy’s inner Petey supplies.  Gary is sulking.

“Trouble in paradise?” Zoe teases, pulling Jimmy down to sit with them.

“You know, I never thought there’d be a time where I’d miss you calling the relationship the worst mistake I’ve ever made, and you hoped I died a horrible, sexually transmitted death, but right now, I just might. Paradise is never a word I would use.”

Zoe rolls her eyes as Pete makes a surprised noise. “You said what?” he asks startled, staring at the girl like he’d never seen her before. She grabs his hand and pats it in mock sympathy.

“You still think I’m a sweetheart. That means a lot, Pete,” she coos patronizingly. 

Zoe actually likes Petey. If Jimmy remembers correctly, it had been Gary she’d had a problem with. And him too. She thought they were going to hurt the younger boy, and if there’s anyone in this school who didn’t deserve to be hurt anymore, it was Petey.  

Zoe was wrong though. They’re the only people who don’t actively look to hurt Pete. Sure, Gary likes to ruffle his feathers and lacked any sort of filter, verbal or otherwise, but he’s definitely tried to become more conscious of how Pete reacts to what he says. He’s trying to find a line and even if he’s still not so great at not crossing it, he tries.

“You’re a jerk, Zoe!” Petey cries, grabbing his hand back.

“Bitch, Petey. Bitch is the word we use for women,” Jimmy tells him, barely able to contain his laughter.

“Or slut.”

“Cunt.”

“Skank.”

“Cum dumpster.”

“Oh no, Jimmy, you’re an example of how that can be applied to men too,” the redhead taunts with a laugh. He shoves her, but it’s halfhearted. Jimmy will always have a soft spot for Zoe, even if neither of them had been able to keep it in their pants long enough to maintain a relationship.  

Petey looks like he might explode if they continue their word game, so they cut him some slack and change the subject. “So what’s new in the lives of the golden threesome?  I haven’t quite filled my daily quota of utter bullshit.”

“Gord was just being Gord,” Jimmy dismisses, turning his attention to the rest of the people at the party.

“That’s not what it looked like to me,” Zoe says, pressing for more information. He swears, sometimes that girl is no better than Christy. Jimmy gives an annoyed sigh.

“Gary likes to be a little bitch sometimes, you know that.”

“He’s pissed, Jimmy.  You need to do damage control,” Petey argues, trying to draw the other boy’s attention back, but failing.

“Unless it was Gord’s body they were talking about hiding earlier, I don’t need to do anything.”  

Jimmy likes to people watch, a habit he picked up from Gary. The older boy is always so paranoid. He insists that people watching allows him the upper hand. You can learn everything about a person just from watching them interact with other people. He had dismissed it when the boy had first said it, but he’s come to find that it’s true. There’s so many little things about a person that go unnoticed unless you really look.

“And that’s not even-Jimmy! Are you listening to me?” Pete asks, outraged that the older boy clearly hadn’t listened to a word he’d said.

“Who’s that?” he asks, ignoring Pete and motioning towards an unfamiliar boy in conversation with Lola and Pinky. Zoe turns to look at where he’s pointing and grins a grin that always means bad news.

“That’s Trevor. He’s the new kid. Recently sprung from Happy Volts,” she informs them, like it’s the most scandalous thing to happen at Bullworth.

“What was he in there for?” Pete questions, joining the other two in openly staring at the boy.

“That’s the best part. I don’t know. The story changes depending on who you ask.”

“So what, he’s a pathological liar?” Jimmy scoffs, unimpressed.

“That’s just called being a teenager,” Petey says. Zoe slaps him on the back, laughing when he jumps.

“Good one, Pete. You should be a comedian, you really should. But oh, here’s something even better.”

“Oh yeah?  What’s that?” Jimmy questions, turning to the girl.

“They say he fucked your boy,” she whispers, like it’s the best kept secret and not gossip that’s possibly been passed around to everyone else before it got back to them.

“Gary?” Pete asks in shock, and Zoe gives him a look like she thinks he must be stupid.

“Of course Gary, you idiot.”  

It’s at that moment that the kid turns his attention to the three in the corner, or more specifically, to Petey. Jimmy feels his stomach tighten at the instant look of interest, and it’s more than a possessive sort of feeling. There’s something about this kid that Jimmy really doesn’t like.

“Pete, come sit in my lap,” he demands, but Pete’s having none of that.

“What? No!” he cries, looking around and blushing like Jimmy just suggested he come sit on his cock. Of course, knowing them, that’s probably what he thinks Jimmy wants. The older boy gives a sigh and pulls the squirming boy into his lap forcefully.

“You wanna say you were drunk if people ask later, you can, but shut up and sit still,” he orders, stroking the boy’s thighs absentmindedly as he turns his head to meet eyes with Trevor. To his surprise, the boy just looks amused and excuses himself from the two girls to make his way toward them.

“What are we doing?” a voice asks from directly beside them. The two boys stare up at Gary who had reappeared at some point during the heated staring contest between Jimmy and the new kid.  

Petey points at Trevor wordlessly, not taking his eyes off Gary. The older boy looks confused up until his eyes follow to where Pete’s pointing. The silence is deafening.

“Gary?” Pete questions cautiously.

“Fuck.”


	3. Chapter 3

“Yeah, that’s what everyone is saying you two did,” Zoe says with a smirk, and Petey smacks her on the arm in chastisement, shrinking back when she scowls at him.

“What is that asshole doing here?” Gary hisses before Trevor is upon them and grinning at Gary like he knows something they don’t. Jimmy has the not so strange urge to just pelt him in the face with Gary’s forgotten drink, but restrains himself. Something he’ll be sure to inform Pete of later when the restraint can be properly rewarded.

Petey has gone completely still in his lap, but Jimmy doesn't know if that's because he's given up fighting or he's afraid Gary's going to get in a fight with the new guy. It definitely wouldn't be the first time, and it seems like Gary really hates the kid despite the rumors going around. Or maybe because of the rumors.

“Gary Smith,” Trevor acknowledges, giving the three other teens in the corner a quick glance over.  But then his attention is back on Gary, like none of them are worth his time. Something Jimmy has no doubt the asshole thinks.

“Do I know you?  I’d say I’m sorry, but I’m giving the whole honesty thing a try.”  Pete laughs at the sheer nonsense of the statement.  Gary hasn’t tried to be honest a day of his life.  Trevor looks confused like he doesn’t quite know whether Petey is laughing at him or not.  Pete shrinks back against Jimmy, and Jimmy adds this to the list of reasons of why he's going to knock some humility into Trevor as soon as he can.

“Is that any way to treat a friend?” Trevor asks, giving Gary what might be the fakest pout in the entire world. And Gary is the king of fake pouting.

“Believe me when I say that you are no friend of mine, _friend_ ,” Gary spits at him before turning to the two boys on the ground. “This party is fucking lame, James. I would have thought you’d think better of us than to take us to a party that just lets any trash wander in.” Jimmy grins.

“Had to find somewhere that’d let you in, baby.” The statement is said in the most sickeningly sweet voice, Jimmy hooking his chin over Pete’s shoulder to glance up at Gary with an amused expression. Anyone else, and Gary probably would have punched them in the face.  But this is Jimmy, and this is Jimmy offhandedly telling Trevor to fuck off because Gary’s theirs, so Gary just laughs.  A real, genuine laugh that never fails to make his boyfriends smile because there aren’t many parts of the real Gary that could be considered pleasant, but that laugh is one of them.

“This is the boy that made you fall several stories and got you thrown into the nuthouse?” Trevor asks, but it’s obvious what he’s really doing is attempting to remind Gary of the fact, like Gary doesn’t remember freshman year.  Who does he think he is?

“Yeah, we fuck now,” Gary replies bluntly, expression bored. Trevor flinches, and Jimmy smirks at his obvious discomfort. Obviously this conversation isn’t going the way he wanted. They decided a long time ago that freshman year was as good as forgotten, and they’ll be damned if they let some asshole come in here to make it something they’re pretending it’s not.

“And I assume the one he’s forcing to straddle him is the ever famous Femme-boy?” Trevor asks with a frown, sounding less pleasant than he had when he first approached them. Good, fuck the asshole. Petey makes an offended noise at the nickname coming from anyone other than Gary, and Jimmy tugs him closer.

“That one’s also mine.” Gary is evidently also upset at the nickname coming from someone other than him because his tone is harder. Trevor shakes his head incredulously.

“What?  Are you serious?” he asks, looking down at Petey and Jimmy like he was seeing them for the first time. Or maybe like he thinks they're not worth of Gary's time either, which is maybe half true and half the complete opposite of the truth.

“Deadly. I want to go,” Gary says, not even bothering to see if his boyfriends are following before he walks past Trevor, knocking into his shoulder ‘accidentally’ as he goes. Jimmy nudges Petey to his feet, lightly pushing him after Gary. Pete looks back, wondering why Jimmy isn’t following him, but the older boy just makes a shooing motion. Petey gives Trevor a curious look before he’s gone too.

“Hey Zoe, I’ll talk to you later, alright?” Jimmy says, pushing himself up. The girl gives an amused look in response and nods, giving a small wave, but making no move to get up.  They’re both pretending that Trevor isn’t there, but his anger is coming off him in waves, and it’d be impossible to actually forget him.

“Yeah, whatever. You guys are lame,” she teases. Jimmy cocks an eyebrow and lifts his hands as if to say, ‘what can you do?’ He shoots a smirk at Trevor as he goes by, mentally celebrating the shocked expression on his face.

—

Gary’s hanging off the end of the bed upside down, kicking at Petey who’s sitting on the bed by his feet, textbook out like only Petey would when Jimmy gets back to the dorm. Pete’s complaining half-heartedly after every jab, but he’s smiling, which makes it obvious how little he actually cares.  

“You’re so lame, Femme-boy! Why are you fucking studying? It’s the weekend,” Gary taunts, emphasizing his words with a particularly hard kick.

"You have a test tomorrow. _We're_ studying," Petey corrects, grabbing his foot in an attempt to stop the kicking. Gary pulls a face, which might be equally the most unattractive thing Jimmy has ever seen and the cutest. Gary is a schizophrenic, street hardened kitten. Seriously.

"The fuck we are," Gary argues. Jimmy kicks off his shoes and bellyflops onto the conjoined beds, which causes them both to slam against the wall. "Christ.  People are going to think we're fucking."

"Ooooh, Gary! Give it to me! Fuck! Fuck yes!" Jimmy moans, rocking so that the bed keeps knocking into the wall. Gary laughs and joins him in rocking the bed.  

They're really only doing it to embarrass Pete, who's turning redder every time the bed hits the wall. Everybody is probably still at the party anyway, so it’s not like anyone’s around to hear it, but this is way more amusing than studying.

"Guys. Stop it, come on," Petey whines, fisting the sheets tightly so that he doesn't fall off the bed. "We can play Strip Study." That catches both their interest and they immediately stop rocking. It’s Pete’s go-to bargain to get his way and make the other two behave.

Strip Study was originally Gary's idea and a rather good one at that. It's almost the only way to get either of the older boys to sit down and actually try to study. He doesn't know whether it's the promise of getting Pete naked or the fact that they're turning studying into a competition that gets to the boys. Pete wouldn't be surprised if it was more the second than the first.

Regardless, they're both pretty bad at it and usually by the end, they're both naked and Petey's barely lost any clothing. They've both got their good subjects of course. Gary's great at English and basically knows every little detail about every war or dictatorship to occur in the past four hundred years, which they’ve learned to stop questioning. Jimmy does well when they get into science as long as it doesn't include math.  

They both suck at math, actually.  Pete loves when the topic is math though, watching the boys attempt to solve equations and getting frustrated all while being mostly or completely naked.

"History," Gary demands, and Pete rolls his eyes.

"Your test is in math, but nice try," Pete says, throwing a notebook and pencil at the boys. “Look, I'll even let you work together."

"Why is it that you always pick a topic that benefits you, you pervert?" Gary accuses, glaring at Pete who just rolls his eyes again.

"The point of this game is for you to get me naked, how am I the pervert?" Pete asks.

"I thought the point of the game was to study so we don't fail?" Jimmy interupts, sounding confused. Pete makes this weird choking noise and pulls Jimmy into a kiss. Jimmy's still confused, but he's not going to question a good thing. Especially a good thing that puts that jealous look on Gary's face.

"I'm so proud of you!" Pete praises. 

Jimmy grins as Gary growls. Praise from Petey is about as rare as either of the older boys behaving themselves and therefore a precious thing that usually comes hand in hand with sexual favors. A proud Pete is a horny Pete.

"I didn't throw Gary's drink at that stupid fucker either," Jimmy says, hoping to cash in for more praise. The more the better. This is a much easier way to earn a blowjob than solving fucking trig functions. "Wanted to."

"You should have. He's an asshole," Gary mutters, rolling away from the other two, and Jimmy can feel the mood instantly darken. Jimmy sighs and kisses any chance at a blowjob tonight goodbye.

"So what's the story with that guy?" Jimmy asks, crawling until he's straddling Gary's lower back and pressing him into the bed. Gary has a tendency to run away if they don't keep him restrained.

"He's just a crazy bastard," Gary tries to dismiss, attempting to army crawl out from under Jimmy. It doesn't work and just causes Jimmy to rock his dick into the other boy's back, which pulls a groan out of both boys.

"A crazy bastard you slept with," Pete says softly, and suddenly everything is out in the open.  They know, Gary knows they know, and there's no more beating around the bush.

"So what? That doesn't fucking matter," Gary says, but his voice sounds desperate, which clues them in that even he knows his argument is weak.

"I think it matters," Pete argues, but he doesn't sound mad or hurt which can be counted as a win. Pete is so sensitive about everything when it comes to their relationship.

"You think lots of stupid shit matters," Gary mumbles miserably. 

It says something that Gary doesn't want to argue this. Gary always wants to argue about everything. "Hopkins slept with Vendome, but I don't see you bitching at him because he accepted the fucker's invitation when we're all aware why the invitation was given."

“I didn’t accept because of Gord,” Jimmy says, annoyed. Gary’s been obsessing about the prep’s inability to take a hint long before tonight, and Jimmy’s tired of hearing about it. He almost wishes Gary would just punch the kid and get over it already. Jimmy hasn’t given a fuck about Gord since before they started fucking.

“Then why exactly did you accept his invitation, hm? Inform the class. We’re all ears, Hopkins,” Gary eggs, his tone condescending.  

Jimmy grits his teeth and restrains himself from kicking the older boy in the head. He hates when Gary calls him Hopkins, especially since he mostly does it when he’s mad at Jimmy, and Jimmy has definitely had enough of being on Gary’s shit list for tonight.

“I accepted it because you’re a little princess and think you need to have expensive fucking alcohol in order to drink. Like fuck I wanted to hang around those snotty little shits, and you know Pete doesn’t need an excuse not to go. But I know you like their booze, so I said we’d go. Is that an acceptable answer, your royal fucking highness?” Jimmy sneers even though Gary can’t see him. He can feel it though, Jimmy knows.  The oldest boy goes quiet and still for a couple minutes, and Jimmy silently celebrates the win.

“Really?” Gary questions finally, sounding small in that way he does when he comes to terms with the fact that he’s overreacted. It’s still a fairly new thing for him, acknowledging he was wrong. He cranes his head around to look at the two boys.  Both Petey and Jimmy are staring back, and Gary has to stop himself from looking away.  It’s so stupid. He’s not afraid of them, not in the least, but their stares are intimidating when no one’s saying anything.

“Yes, really. That doesn’t really matter though, because you didn’t even end up drinking before you stormed out like the bitch you are,” Jimmy says, but his tone isn’t as harsh as his words. It’s annoyed but fond.

Gary crawls out from under Jimmy, and Jimmy allows him to go now that he’s calmed down. The boy rolls off the bed and walks over to their dresser, digging through it until he finds what he’s looking for. He holds it out, and Jimmy cocks an eyebrow. It’s a bottle and identical to the other numerous bottles Jimmy knows the preps keep stocked in their bar.  

Jimmy grins and holds out his hands, which Gary assumes means he’s forgiven. Gary goes to hand him the bottle but is pulled to Jimmy’s chest instead, which almost causes him to drop the bottle in surprise.  Jimmy presses a quick kiss to his lips before he takes the bottle from him.  

“That’s my boy. Fucking klepto,” he says affectionately. Gary grins, and the fight and Trevor and anything but the three of them and the bottle of top shelf vodka is forgotten. It’s just that easy.

“You guys won’t be able to study if you’re drunk,” Pete complains half heartedly, wondering how he puts up with his boys all the time. Of course, the answer is obvious, but they don’t say it aloud very often.

“Watch us,” Gary challenges, stealing the bottle back, biting off the cork and taking a drink. Jimmy trades him the pencil in exchange for the bottle and takes a drink of his own.

In the end, Petey takes pity on the two naked, shitfaced idiots by stripping himself before he curls into them and passes out.


	4. Chapter 4

Gary doesn’t pass his math test. Pete knows, because he hasn’t looked Pete’s way at all since the test started, something that is more of an assurance thing than a cheating thing like Pete had first assumed, and Gary’s written “I’m hungover and no one gives a fuck,” for all the answers.  

He’d feel more annoyed, but that’s actually far more subdued than Gary’s usual answers when he doesn’t know shit, which are so past the line of vulgar that the line is just a dot, and he already looks miserable enough laying his head on his desk, shielding his eyes. Pete assumes this is how he spent his other classes as well.

Jimmy doesn’t have pre-calculus for another two periods, but Petey has no doubts that his grade won’t be any better than Gary’s. They both got pretty drunk last night, and Pete doubts they’d be able to pass the test in their state even if they knew the material. And they don’t know the material anyway. They never had a chance, not that he really expects it of them despite his nagging.  

Pete figures he’ll cut them some slack though, pretend he doesn’t know just how badly they failed and wait until they get their tests back. Nag them when they’re not hungover and more likely to complain about being cut off. It’s really not any fun to deny them if they’re in too much pain to get it up.

The bell signaling the end of class rings, and Gary groans, covering his ears with his hands. He really is a pitiful sight right now, but the jackass deserves it, so Pete only feels a little bad. His sadistic side, nothing compared to that of either of his boyfriends, actually gets a kick out of this. Pete’s always had to rely on Gary to get back at himself for all the shit he’s done to him, and Gary’s such a hazard to himself that it never took long.

He quickly scribbles his name at the top of his paper and grabs Gary’s on his way to the teacher’s desk. In the beginning, teachers used to be suspicious of Petey doing things like this for his boys, like he was helping them cheat. In reality, Gary and Jimmy are just lazy assholes, and they couldn’t care less about cheating on a test to have Pete do it for them even if he would. Which he wouldn’t, but that’s entirely beyond the point.  

Everyone else files out of the room and Pete waits patiently for Gary to motivate himself to get his ass out of the seat.

Once the older boy manages to open his eyes, a pretty admirable achievement he’d like to think, he looks up questioningly at Pete who just offers his hand silently. Usually Gary teases Pete for all this high school sweetheart bullshit. The hand holding and PDA and everything else he secretly likes to do. Gary’s the more physical of all of them, and they humor him by letting him think it’s them. Of course, that physical attention comes from possessiveness rather than affection, but what doesn’t when it comes to Gary?

Gary accepts the hand and allows Petey to pull him out of his seat. It’s a slow process, and Petey almost falls over getting him up. He seems a bit dazed, and a small part of Pete is concerned but knows that Gary’s perfectly capable of handling a hangover. If he’s big enough to get drunk, he’s big enough to take care of himself afterwards.

When he’s standing, Petey releases his hand and bends down to grab Gary’s bag. The older boy hums in thanks, but makes a noise of surprise when instead of handing him the bag, Pete trails a hand up his chest.

“I know you did great. You worked really hard. I really appreciate it, Gary,” Pete says with a smile, pressing a quick kiss to his lips before he hands Gary his bag and turns to leave. “See you later!” he throws over his shoulder, and then he’s lost in the crowd of kids in the hall. Let Gary sit on that.

—

“We are so fucked,” Gary says later, sliding into a seat across from Jimmy in the cafeteria.Jimmy looks up from what he thinks is meatloaf to acknowledge Gary’s presence. The boy gets pissy if he doesn’t.

“Who did you piss off?” Jimmy asks, dropping his gaze back to his lunch and prodding at it with a fork. Nobody buys this shit to eat, it’s just horrifyingly fascinating. Jimmy’s picked up the meat for lunch after all. It’s not labeled.

“Pete. _We_ pissed off Pete.” 

Gary’s good at scheming but Jimmy’s ten times better at calming down a pissed off Petey. The wrong things come out of Gary’s mouth, whether he intends for them to or not, and the only time he’s effectively calmed Pete down is the one time he choked out an apology for something stupid.

Jimmy drops his fork and whips his head back up. Gary’s got his full attention right now, and Jimmy can see him revel in it despite the circumstances.  

“Fuck. What? What did we do now? I’ve been good!”

“Lower your fucking voice, christ. What did you answer? On the test?” Gary asks, resting his chin on his hands. He’s exhausted and feels like shit, and all he really wants to do is go back to the dorm to roll into bed.

“Pig rectum,” Jimmy answers, like he honestly believes the answer to any of the questions on his math test was pig rectum.

“For all of them?” Gary laughs.

“Yeah. Of course. Pig rectum. Everybody knows that’s the answer to every trig function ever, Gary,” Jimmy teases, grinning. He’s less hungover than the other boy, possibly because he drinks more often than Gary, and he can appreciate how sweet a hungover Gary is compared to normal.

“Through some fucked up joke of the universe, that worked for you on a biology quiz. Probably not going to happen again. Especially in pre-calc,” Gary says, waving his hand as he talks. He does that a lot. Gary’s a very spastic talker and more flails than talks with his hands when he really gets going. “But that’s besides the point. Pete. Test. In deep shit.”

“What makes you think we’re in trouble? He hasn’t even seen our tests,” Jimmy asks.

“He said he knew I did well, because he knows I worked hard, and he appreciated it, and then he walked away,” Gary explains, sounding just a little hysterical. Petey doesn’t beat around the bush unless he wants them to suffer. If he’s upset, he’ll usually bitch about it or sit around all miserable until one of them bothers to ask.

Jimmy sighs and dumps his tray into the trashcan next to the table. 

“Alright, we’re in trouble. You know what this means, don’t you?” he asks.

“Noooooo,” Gary whines, knowing exactly what Jimmy is thinking. “I want to sleep!”

“You can sleep when we get back from the comic book store.”

—

Gary hates the comic book store. He hates it more than he’s ever hated anything in his entire life. And it’s not a hatred of comics or anything, because there are a couple of valuable Batmans in the attic that he’s secretly enjoyed on more than one occasion.  

He doesn’t have a problem comics or people who like them. It’s more about the nerds who hiss at him from behind the counter, like that’s fucking normal or something. Legitimately hiss at him. It’s weird shit.

But this is for Pete. More importantly though, it’s so Pete won’t be pissed at them. As much as Gary hates the comic book store, he’s still here. And hungover no less. That has to earn him points on the boyfriend scale. Worth a blowjob at least.

There’s a chorus of Jimmy’s name from the nerds before they cut themselves off with a gasp and the hissing starts. Jimmy looks confused, and Gary is reminded that Jimmy’s never been in the store at the same time as him. Usually they take turns going with Petey so they don’t both have to suffer.

“Are they hissing at you?” he asks, shooting the nerds as dirty of a look as he can while still being severely confused.

“Are they? I hadn’t noticed,” Gary says through gritted teeth.  

He really can not put up with this. Luckily, the nerds cower under Jimmy’s look and crawl back to their hideout in the basement like the mole people they are. Not for the first time, he wonders how these kids are the bright side of the future. You don’t get anywhere being a pussy.

“Jimmy. Smith. I’m surprised to see you in here without Petey,” the salesman comments, tone indicating exactly what he thinks of them being here without Pete.

“Fuck you,” Gary says, but there’s no real malice to his tone. Jimmy rolls his eyes and pushes Gary to sit at the little board game setup in the corner.

“We’re in deep shit, Zack. We need whatever he’s been obsessing over recently,” Jimmy informs him, sighing deeply when the man makes a wheeze of outrage. Gary’s chosen to amuse himself by switching all the pieces to the game.

“Get that little jerk out of here!” Zack demands, pointing at Gary like Jimmy wouldn’t know who he’s talking about.

“Just sell us what we need, and we’ll leave!” Jimmy bargains, about ready to say fuck it and take whatever Pete’s going to throw at them.

“Fine fine, here. This. He’s been showing interest in this!” Zack huffs, placing some comic on the counter. Gary stands and walks up to counter, grabbing the comic to examine. “What are you doing!?Don’t grab it like that!”The man tries to grab the comic back, but Gary pulls it out of his grasp.

“Don’t tell me what to do,” he insists calmly, motioning at Jimmy to pay the man. Jimmy does so, hoping to diffuse the situation by getting Gary out of the store as quickly as he can. As they’re leaving, Gary turns to give Zack a big smile before knocking the board game table to the floor. He takes the moment he has before Jimmy is shoving him out the door to revel in the disgusting man’s scream.

They’re halfway back to Bullworth before Jimmy says anything. Despite the fact that Gary knows Jimmy’s a little bit mad at him, walking in silence is absolutely no fun. He’d been starting to get twitchy, and that’s never a good thing for anyone.

“He’s never going to let you back in the store,” Jimmy says, sounding very much annoyed. Annoyed is good. Annoyed isn’t angry, or at least not very much. Not with Jimmy anyway. Gary grins, handing the other boy the comic.

“Shame. I guess you’ll have to be the one who goes with Pete from now on,” Gary says happily, not even attempting to pretend he’s disappointed. Jimmy shoots him a glare, and Gary pouts back at him.

The thing about Gary pouting is that it’s not cute at all in a way that brings it right back around to cute. In fact, there are a lot of things about Gary that he considers cute or adorable or any of those pussy words that most dudes considered using only for their girlfriends. Or maybe Jimmy’s bias, because the only thing anyone else sees of Gary is crazy, and he’s sure the pout falls under that category as well. But after spending nearly all his time with the boy for the past year, Gary doesn’t really phase him ,and crazy seems like an exaggeration. Sure, the kid isn’t all there, but the way Gary acts mostly isn’t crazy. He’s just a rude kid. You don’t have to be insane to be a dick. 

“You asshole,” Jimmy groans, punching Gary in the shoulder affectionately.

“Stop with the petnames, babycakes. You know how much they embarrass me,” Gary flirts, fluttering his eyelashes. And really, there’s nothing to say to that.


	5. Chapter 5

"Did you know that the nerds hiss at Gary when he goes in the comic book shop?" Jimmy asks, tossing the mercy gift at Petey's face as they enter the dorm room. The youngest of the three is laying on the bed, writing something or other in a notebook. Probably homework. Pete really is the lamest guy Jimmy knows.

"Um. Yes? Why do you know this?" Pete asks as he dodges the comic being thrown at his head, thoroughly confused. As far as he knew, neither of them would step within several feet of the store without him forcing them to. Gary makes a pitiful noise, kicks off his shoes, and climbs in the bed to curl into Pete.

"We all know we failed. Merry Christmas. Forgive us," Gary says, closing his eyes after he finds a comfortable position with his head resting in Petey's lap. Affectionate Gary is kind of sad, but also not something you should question. So Pete doesn't.

"I…it's September," Pete says for lack of a better argument.

"Christmas in July then," Gary dismisses.

"It's September," Pete repeats, but nobody makes the effort of letting him know they were listening. As if that’s a change.

"Anyways, we braved that hellhole for whatever the fuck that is," Jimmy gestures at the comic that was balancing between the bed and the side table where it had landed. Pete looks at it and beams once he realizes what it is.

"Oh! Cool. I really…awesome. Guys," he babbles until Gary smacks his thigh without opening his eyes.

"Stop rambling. It's not even that big of a deal," Gary lets him know.  

Jimmy wonders if Gary even remembers the point of getting the comic in the first place. Probably not. Gary is surprisingly single minded for someone who schemes so intelligently.

"But it's like, a sign that you guys love me. Right?" Pete urges hopefully, threading his finger's through Gary's hair, making the boy purr appreciatively.

"You know Pete, true love is when a man cums on your face and licks it off," Gary says, opening his eyes to leer up at the boy.

"You've never licked your semen off my face after coming on it," Pete argues.

"I could. If you wanted."

"You could just not cum on my face," Pete retorts, unamused. Gary looks honestly surprised by the answer, like he'd never considered the possibility.

"Oh. No. No, I'm still going to do that," he says almost apologetically, although all three of them know he's not sorry for it at all.

"Are you two done talking about eating semen?" Jimmy asks, cocking an eyebrow.

"Are you done standing in the doorway like a voyeur?" Gary questions back, nudging Pete's hand with his head in a silent request to continue what he'd been doing. Pete does, because he’s compliant like that.

Jimmy rolls his eyes and joins his boyfriends on the bed, making sure to kick Gary in the process. Gary whines, and Jimmy grins in malice. Petey raises an eyebrow, clearly unamused.

"So are we forgiven?" Jimmy asks, poking at the bruise he left on Gary's side from the kick. Gary makes a wheezing, pained noise and tries to tug his shirt over the bruise.

"No," Pete says, turning back to whatever he was writing before they came into the room.

"What do you mean no?" Gary growls.

"I mean that while I appreciate your braving the comic book store on your own, that's not what I want for my mercy favor," Pete explains slowly, and both the boys hate it when he does that. They’re not stupid or small children. There’s no reason for him to do it other than because he’s mocking them.

"What the fuck do you want then?" Gary demands.

"Your phone vibrated while you were gone. You got a text," Pete says, seemingly switching topics out of nowhere. Jimmy hates when he makes them guess. It's never a fun week and a half of guessing.

"So?" Gary asks, tone suspicious. People don't really text him, so the text itself is ominous.

"So, it was your dad. And I want you to accept his invitation," Pete explains, pretending like he's still focusing on his paper when both his boyfriends know he's not. Petey can't multitask. It's one of his flaws.

"Fuck no!" Gary yells, bolting into a sitting position. "Why the fuck are you going through my phone? Fucking invasion of my god damn privacy. Am I not allowed to have privacy anymore? I'm still a fucking-"

"Stop. Calm down or you're going to do something stupid," Jimmy demands, tugging Gary so that Jimmy is trapping him against his chest.  

It's forceful enough that it doesn't startle Gary when he's like this, but close enough to hugging that it's also comforting. It's tricks like this that show Jimmy and Petey have taken their Gary care responsibilities seriously. They've come so far from where they were.

Pete looks terrified, and he's abandoned all facades of working. Gary is breathing heavy. Like an enraged bull, and Petey might honestly prefer the bull at this point. The bull would probably be better at calming itself down.

"You can't avoid it forever, you know. You can't. And even if you don't want to admit it, he deserves to be in your life. So that's what I want," Pete explains, faking calm. Jimmy has no idea what they’re talking about and for once, he feels out of the loop. Gary stares at Pete hard for a long while before he visibly deflates.

"When?" he asks, slumping in Jimmy's arms. Defeat.

"This weekend. Friday afternoon," Pete answers, biting his lip. A nervous habit. Never a good sign.

"I guess I'll text him then," Gary mumbles, making to get his phone. But Petey interrupts him with a nervous cough.

"I…already did?" he tries, knowing he's overstepped his bounds.  

Gary stares at Pete, opens his mouth to say something before thinking better of it and climbing off the bed to leave the room. Sometimes Jimmy thinks Gary's learned the least out of all of them. Sometimes he thinks he's learned the most.

—

Petey hadn't been dwelling much on Trevor. Yes, Gary admitted to letting the boy fuck him, which not even they're allowed to do after being through so much together. And that bothers Pete a little bit. But he hasn't really thought about Trevor since coming back from the party.

That's why it surprises him so much when he runs into the boy on Wednesday after the final bell rings. Actually, if Petey had bothered to think about it, it actually appeared as if Trevor had been waiting for him. But Pete doesn't think about it, so nothing seems out of the ordinary as the boy leans down to help pick up Pete's dropped books.

"Um…I never did get your name. I don't suppose you'd appreciate Femme-boy?" Trevor suggests, handing over the book. Pete blushes hotly at the name.

"No, it's…it's a Gary only thing, I guess," Pete offers, shrugging.

"A thing? Seems like an insult to me," Trevor presses, smiling reassuringly.

"It's. Well, I guess it's more of a petname now. It's hard to explain. My name's Pete, by the way. Or Petey. I guess. Whichever you prefer," Pete rambles nervously, glancing quickly at the clock. The boys had wanted to go into to town and get dinner. Neither of them are going to be too pleased at the delay. "I should be going."

Trevor blocks his exit.  

"Hey, what's the rush? Is this about the party? I really do apologize about that. I'm not…I don't handle being brushed off well. Especially if I'm not expecting it," he tries to explain.

“You weren’t expecting Gary to brush you off? How well did you know him?” Pete jokes, smiling at the boy for the first time.

Trevor laughs and brushes a lock of his hair behind his ears. It’s longish for a boy. That perfect length between shaggy and untamed. It’s the length that Pete’s always trying to convince Gary to keep his hair at before he reshaves it.  

“Well, you know.  You seem very knowledgable of him?”

Pete shrugs. “I’ve known Gary my whole life.  We went to the same preschool. And every grade after that,” he explains. 

Pete can’t remember a time in his childhood where Gary wasn’t somewhere close by. And maybe that’s why he put up with his shit for so long. Gary’s always been a horrible, comfortable constant in his life.

“That musn’t have been very nice. He’s not very kind to you, is he? Or gentle,” Trevor comments, leaning against the stair rail. Pete is so engrossed in the conversation that he hasn’t even realized the school has pretty much emptied beyond kids involved in extracurriculars. And there aren’t many willing to stay past last bell.

“Oh. I’m use to it I guess. You know. Eventually you adapt. You don’t speak very highly of him for someone who was...uh, involved with him,” Petey notes, depositing his bookbag on the floor by his feet.

Trevor shrugs and gestures at the air. “Oh, you know. Not much involvement I would guess, since he wants to deny our acquaintance. But that’s fine. I’m sure I can do better in the realm of friends. Gary Smith is not the warm and fuzzy type. Not the kind of person who many would consider a friend. I get a different vibe from you though, Petey. You seem like you’d make a fine friend. Am I correct in assuming this?” Trevor asks, reaching an arm out to lightly touch Pete’s shoulder.

Now, prior to Jimmy and Gary, Pete didn’t receive a whole lot of positive contact from people. And maybe a little bit of that still lingers in him, because damn if Trevor’s touch doesn’t warm something inside of him. Maybe they’d judged Trevor too quickly. Maybe Gary didn’t like him, but Gary didn’t like much of anyone.

“I-I guess. I don’t have many friends,” Petey admits, averting his eyes, blushing for an entirely different reason this time around.  Trevor makes a noise of shock.

“You don’t? That’s a shame. Why do you think that is?” he asks, sounding genuinely concerned.

“Oh, well. Um. I guess I wasn’t very popular before the whole...well, they call us the fucked up three, but you get my point. And afterwards. Well. Gary and Jimmy are a little possessive,” Pete finishes lamely.  

Usually his boyfriends’ possessive streaks give Pete a little feeling of pride, but this time around, all it elicits is a feeling of shame. There’s a lot of things about his boyfriends that embarrass him, but he’s never been ashamed of them.

“That’s not right at all. That’s not healthy. Isolating you from other people is one of the signs of an abusive relationship you know,” Trevor says, squeezing Pete’s shoulder affectionately.

Pete jolts. “What? No! It’s not-it’s not like that! Really. I mean, it’s not abusive. They treat me really well actually. Way better than they treat anyone else,” he scrambles to explain.

Trevor raises an eyebrow in disbelief. “It’s not hard to treat someone better than absolute dirt, you know.”

Pete whines. “It’s not like that. Really. I appreciate the concern though. Really Trevor, it’s really nice of you to care.”

“Of course. After all, that’s what friends do, isn’t it? Care?” Trevor says with another smile and one last squeeze of Petey’s shoulder before he removes his hand. He leans down to grab Petey’s backpack and offers it out to him. Pete blushes once more before accepting the bag.

“Friends?” he repeats.

“Of course. We are friends, aren’t we, Petey? I’d like to be,” Trevor reassures.

“Oh. Yeah. I’d like that too. Friends,” Pete grins, tightening his grip on the bag. Trevor returns the grin.

“Good. Good. Well, I guess it’s time we go separate ways then.  It was nice talking to you, Petey,” Trevor says with a wave before walking down the hall. Pete takes another glance at the clock, freaking when he realizes half an hour had passed since the end of school. Gary and Jimmy were sure to be pissed.  

With one last look towards the direction that Trevor disappeared in, Pete rushes out of the building. He never notices he’s missing a notebook.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thar be blowjobs ahead.

Petey doesn't realize that he's missing his notebook until later the next morning. However, once he does realize it's not in his backpack where he last saw it, he promptly flips the fuck out. He's already halfway through tearing apart the room before he slows down enough to think about how bad this really is. It’s not just any notebook after all.

It's not so much a notebook as a diary, loathe as he is to admit that out loud. Except for the fact that it consists entirely of information about Gary and Jimmy. And their sex life. But mostly it's just little things he's found out about his two boys over the last year. Notes to himself about things he doesn’t want to forget. Dates of important events in their relationship. Mostly small things. Regardless, it's not any thing he has the right to, or particularly wants falling into anyone else's hands.

Gary and Jimmy don't know anything about the diary, which is good because they'd definitely tease him for it. Specifically Gary, who would be all over the word ‘diary’ and would never let Pete live it down. The notebook looks just like any of his other notebooks, so he assumes they always assume he's just doing homework whenever he's writing in it. Though, why they assume he has so much more homework than them, he has no idea. The point is, they are clueless about the existence of Petey's little biography of their relationship, and now is probably not the time to clue them in.

Petey will swear up and down that that’s why he shrieks when someone clears their throat. Not because he was frightened or anything like that. He peaks cautiously over the edge of the bed to find two very unamused boyfriends staring back at him.  

Gary looks more confused than anything, but Jimmy has that irritating look of concern on his face. Just because it looks bad doesn’t mean that Petey has finally lost it.

"Why did you destroy our room?" Gary asks, clearly displeased that Petey had decided to do this rather than join them in the shower. Not that he hadn’t wanted to, but he’d assumed he’d have a little alone time to write in his notebook.  

He hadn’t expected to have to strip search their bedroom, battling the worrying little voice in his head that told him what he already knew: the notebook wasn’t in here. Pete stares back blankly, frantically looking for an excuse while trying to appear outwardly calm.

"I…I lost my chemistry lab notebook?" he tries.  

Petey is the sort of person who would freak out about losing a notebook, so he thinks he might get away with the lie. Gary seems to accept it without question, which isn’t surprising at all. But Jimmy doesn't seem any less concerned. Sometimes Pete really hates Jimmy’s ability to see through his lies.

Of course, Gary couldn't give less of a fuck about Pete's missing classwork dilemma simply because he doesn't view it as a problem. It’s not like he wouldn’t be able to get the notes to recopy from his lab partner. And honestly, Pete wishes the fix to his problem was as easy as asking Beatrice for her notes.  

The oldest boy flops on the bed, which is also the only clean part of their room remaining. Pete was extremely thorough in his search. Thankfully, this gives Petey the perfect excuse to change the topic.

Gary is somewhat like a dog in the aspect that he doesn't dry off after he showers, and now is no different. He's still dripping wet and his jeans are soaked through, something that Pete usually ignores with an annoyed sort of amusement. Now, however, it's the perfect distraction.

"What are you doing? Your jeans are soaked. Learn how to use a towel, jesus. Change your jeans," Pete bitches, glaring at the older boy.  

Gary quirks an eyebrow and rolls his eyes. This type of bantering is normal, and usually it’s playful. Unfortunately, Gary isn’t aware that it’s not ‘cute’ bitching for the sake of bitching.

"Shut up. No," he leers, flipping Pete off as he says it.

"Change your mother fucking jeans, now!" Pete screeches, tossing the closest solid object, which happens to be another one of his notebooks, at Gary.  

The older boy scrambles to catch the notebook, a look of severe confusion on his face which quickly replaces itself with anger. The fear of what he knows is one of his biggest mistakes is quickly chipping away at all his usual patience. Pete isn't usually the one picking fights.

"Christ! What is your fucking problem? Fine!" Gary yells back, and the hostility is so thick that for once, Jimmy thinks he might be the one who has to break up a fight. Not that Gary and Pete don’t fight; they do just as much as Jimmy and Gary, but this is different. Jimmy is actually afraid for Gary in this scenario.

Gary notices the title of the notebook out of the corner of his eye, and it only fuels his anger.  

"This is your fucking chemistry notebook, you tool."  

If there’s anything that Gary hates, and maybe that’s a stupid statement seeing as he hates a lot of things, it’s undeserved anger. There’s already a lot of reasons to hate him, and he doesn’t need people making shit up.

Pete feels all of the fight leave him at that and in its place is an overwhelming amount of guilt. He knows he's possibly fucked up bigger than either of the two older boys ever have, and he's not the only one affected by it either. It's a hard thing to accept.

"Sorry. I'm sorry," Petey says softly, looking up at the older boy guiltily.  

Gary averts his eyes and gives an annoyed sigh, which doesn't really sit well with Pete. He may not have as hard a time with apologizing as Gary does, but he sure as hell doesn't enjoy having to admit to Gary that he's wrong.

"Whatever," Gary dismisses, still refusing to look at Pete.

“Come on. I’m really sorry,” Pete says in that coy way he does when he’s trying to play sexy. It doesn’t really have the desired effect; it looks way too awkward on him to truly be sexy. But Gary and Jimmy like it. It’s really endearing how utterly Pete it is in all it’s awkward glory.  

Pete pouts and crawls his way up onto the bed, fiddling with the button of the older boy’s jeans. “Make it up to you.”

Gary cocks an eyebrow in interest as Pete succeeds in unbuttoning his jeans before shooting a victory grin at Jimmy. Which is completely unfair because Jimmy never gets apology blowjobs from Petey. Clearly he needs to up his assholery.

Not one to be ignored, Jimmy joins the other two on the bed. Pete ends up being the one ignored as Jimmy leans over him to pull Gary into a kiss, which is unacceptable. He makes a noise of protest and attempts to pull up but Gary pushes his head back down. Lightly, but enough to be forceful.

“Hey!” Pete protests, sounding put out.

“I like my apologies to be silent,” Gary says, not at all apologetically. Not that Petey was expecting an apology. It is Gary after all. He never says an apology he means, and Pete would take a round-about, all too subtle sorry than a fake one any day.

Pete returns to the task at hand, figuring he can’t be ignored with the other boy’s cock down his throat. And he’s right. As soon as Gary’s balls deep, one of Pete’s lesser known and sluttier talents, his attention has switched back from Jimmy to Pete. Petey looks up at him, giving a sly little smile around the mouthful.

"Christ. You're so fucking pretty like this," Gary says in wonder. Like he can't believe he didn't figure this out sooner. It's not the first time he's pointed it out either. Gary has some sort of fascination with Pete giving him, or Jimmy, oral. Sometimes Pete wonders if all he had to do to gain respect from Gary all this time was offer to suck his dick.

Jimmy's decides to relinquish Gary's attention to Pete in favor of running his hands along Pete's hips. It'd be nice if Pete weren't so aware of how little time they have before school. While the older two boys are more than happy to skip out, he's never been the kind to skip school. Especially not for sex, though Jimmy has been persistent.  

For this reason, Petey hurries the blowjob along. He keeps eye contact which, cheesy enough, is a sure fire way to get Gary off quickly. If he wasn’t so sure Gary would hit him for it, Pete would tease him about it. That being said, Jimmy probably rags on him enough for both of them. After all, Gary and Jimmy _hold hands_ when they fuck.  It doesn't get more embarrassingly intimate than that.  

A jolt of fear runs through Pete at that thought. That’s something in the notebook. The notebook that Jimmy and Gary don’t know about. The notebook he currently can’t find. He forces himself to squash that fear down. 

Don’t worry about it.  

Don’t panic before you have to.

In the end, it doesn’t take much more than a look and particularly hard suck before Gary is making that weird surprised noise he makes when he orgasms. It’s not really too bad or anything. According to Jimmy, Cornelius sounds like a dying animal when he orgasms, something neither of them honestly wanted to know, so he supposes it could be worse.

Gary gives Petey a smug look until Pete makes a show of spitting on Gary’s jeans rather than swallowing. Pete gives Gary a sweet look and pats the non-semen covered portion of his jeaned calf.

“Change your jeans,” he says.  

Jimmy’s laughter can be heard from outside the dorm.

 


	7. Chapter 7

Gary does eventually get around to changing his pants once he’s done beating up on Petey for spitting his jizz on his jeans. But it was definitely worth it, if only for the look on Gary’s face for the few minutes it took him to comprehend what had happened.  

It’s enough to distract Pete, at least. He forgets all about the notebook as he ushers the two boys out of the already empty dorm. Pete hasn’t been late yet in his entire life, and he intends to keep it that way.

They make it into the building exactly as the first bell rings, and Pete presses a quick kiss to the side of both of their mouths before running off. They’d be insulted by the hasty goodbye but it’s Pete. His priorities are entirely too jumbled up. Gary and Jimmy turn to each other before grinning.

“Skip?” Gary suggests.

“Let’s go fuck in the library,” Jimmy agrees, tugging the other boy by his wrist back out the front door.

“I don’t know why he always bitches. We spend lots of time in the library,” Gary wonders aloud, oblivious to the eye roll that Jimmy directs at him. If he has any say in it, they’re going to keep that bit of information far far away from Pete.

—

Pete barely makes it to chemistry before the tardy bell rings and breathes a sigh of relief as he sits at his lab table. Beatrice isn’t next to him, and Pete looks around curiously for the girl. She’s sitting with Pinky, neither girl looking too pleased about the fact, and Pete wonders what that’s about. But before he can question the girl, she’s blocked from his view by a person standing in front of him. He looks up to find Trevor smiling at him.

“Hi Pete,” he greets, and Pete can’t help but smile back at him despite his confusion.   
  
“I didn’t know you were in this class,” Pete says as Dr. Watts attempts to calm the class down. In fact, Pete is almost absolutely sure that Trevor was not in this class before today.

“Oh, I wasn’t. But my other schedule wasn’t cooperative with my needs, so I asked to be switched into this period,” Trevor explains, taking Beatrice’s old seat next to Pete. It’s awfully presumptuous of him, but Pete keeps quiet.

“What do you mean, ‘your needs’?” Pete asks, ignoring Watts as he starts class rambling about the periodic table. It’s not like Pete’s missing anything vital; he’s got this down by now and usually spends the first fifteen minutes of class writing in his notebook anyway. And Petey’s only half sure Watts is even aware that he’s teaching a class right now.

Trevor grins and shakes his head.  

“Oh, nothing really. This class is just...more convenient. And you’re here, which is great. I asked Dr. Watts if maybe I could be your partner, you know? Since we’re friends and all. I didn’t really want to be with the princess,” he admits.  “All rich kids are snobs.”

“Not all of them. You’d be surprised at some of the kids who have money in this school,” Pete argues absentmindedly, and Trevor gives him a look of shock.

“I’m surprised to hear you say that, to be honest. But I don’t think I can agree. I bet you’re thinking of that big guy. Russell, I think his name is? Maybe he’s not the traditional snobby rich kid, but I guarantee you that he knows how to use his money in his favor,” Trevor rebuts.  

“Russell? Oh. Russell’s alright. I don’t actually...uh. I’m not sure if Russell understands how much money he has, but he’s not really who I was thinking of,” Pete says. Trevor continues to stare at him like he’d just said something shocking.  

“You’re just a more forgiving person than me,” Trevor concludes.

“Yeah, I guess so,” he concedes before turning to his chemistry book, flipping through the pages.   Pete still doesn’t agree, and he has his reasons, but he lets it go.

At some point, Dr. Watts had stopped talking and instructed everyone to work on the textbook assignment. Pete’s a little surprised they weren’t called out for having a conversation, but he’s not about to argue with getting away with something.  

Once he turns to the page written on the board, he’s surprised to find a paper tucked between the pages. It’s his handwriting, but he can’t remember leaving anything in the book. The textbooks have to stay in the classroom, so Pete usually keeps all his work in a notebook.

_Gary has this thing about the inside of his thighs. He pretends he doesn’t like it, but if you suck at just the right spot, he-_  

A feeling of dread washes over him. It must show on his face because Trevor takes notice and puts a hand on Pete’s shoulder in concern.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, trying to sneak a peek at the paper. Pete snaps the textbook closed and furiously shakes his head.

“Nothing. It’s nothing. Can we share your book? Someone wrote something crude in mine,” Pete lies, pushing the textbook to the edge of the table.  

He’ll have to remember to grab the paper at the end of class, but for now, he doesn’t even want to look at the book. Trevor still seems concerned but lets it go, scooting his book so that it’s between them.

“You think you’d be use to crude things, dating Jimmy and Gary,” Trevor teases, knocking shoulders lightly with Pete in jest.

“Yeah. You’d think,” Pete mumbles halfheartedly.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Trevor asks one last time, but Pete only waves the question off.

“Fine. I’m fine,” Pete dismisses, staring intently at the problems in the textbook. 

But of course, he can’t concentrate. Someone has his notebook. It’s not just lost, it’s in someone’s possession. And it’s clear by the loose page in the textbook, not any old textbook but _his_ , that this person isn’t just going to hand it over. They’re using it against him. If he gets it back, it’ll be page by page.

—

Gary is the one to point out how quiet Petey is that night at dinner, which shows just how much this is shaking him up. On one hand, the boys deserve to know if some dickbag has intimate information about them. But on the other, Pete is scared. Pete is so deeply terrified that despite the unspoken promise that they’re the real deal, and nothing is going to sever that, this is big enough to do just that. Truth is, Pete’s a coward, and he wants to keep them for as long as he can.

“What’s up with you, Femme-boy? Are you pondering your superiority?” Gary teases, and there’s no concern to be heard, but Pete knows it’s there. He feels guilty for it, but he’d rather stay quiet than blow up at them for no reason again.

“I think you’re confusing us,” Pete teases back, but it doesn’t quite hold up, and the half-smile is the only thing that keeps it from falling completely flat.

There’s a moment of silence that alerts Petey that Gary has taken note to the fact that something is wrong, and Pete’s really proud of him for that. It took a while before Gary started accessing these situations so he wouldn’t say the wrong thing. And Pete maybe kind of hates it too, because it’s not Gary if he’s not saying the first thing that comes to mind before he even has time to process the comment.

“Why do you get to pout? I don’t get to pout. I’m the one who should be pouting,” Gary complains finally, and Pete smiles.

“I thought you didn’t pout,” he shoots back, smiling smugly as Gary goes to answer, thinks about it, and closes his mouth with a frown.

“That’s besides the point,” Gary argues, sounding put out. Jimmy cocks an eyebrow at that and snorts.

“You pout anyway, so what’s the point of complaining?” he teases, shoveling his strawberries on Gary’s plate while the boy is distracted by Pete. Any little thing to put him in a good mood. 

Both of them are aware of Gary’s real reason for complaining. Tomorrow’s Friday and while Jimmy doesn’t know why the older boy is so adverse to going home, he is.

“I do not!” Gary growls, and Jimmy flips him off.  

This is nice. The stability of their bickering and teasing. Pete doesn’t know if he could take losing this part of himself.

“Anyway, back to the point. Why are you so quiet, Pete?” Jimmy asks, smacking Gary’s hand as it sneaks it’s way on to his plate.

“It’s nothing. It’s just been a long day,” Pete brushes off, making sure to keep his eyes naturally averted from Jimmy’s. The boy is way too perceptive, and the last thing Pete wants is for Jimmy to be more suspicious.

“Is this about your stupid chem notebook?” Gary asks, sounding like he’s not completely over this morning.

“Um, yeah, I guess. And I found...I mean. Someone wrote something in my chemistry book. It was just off-putting,” Pete explains.

“What’d they write? Was it dirty? Did you show Beatrice? Did she get that far off look in her eyes where you can tell she’s thinking about doing the deed with Jimmy?” Gary asks, not giving Pete any time to answer or taking a break to breathe.

“No. Beatrice isn’t my lab partner anymore. Trevor is.”

Gary goes rigid and throws his hand out to grip at Pete’s wrist so tightly that it’s almost painful. It’s a little scary. It always is when Gary shows that even if he chooses not to these days, he’s still fully capable of hurting Pete.

“Tell me you mean that little no name loser in our math class,” Gary demands. Pete glares back at his harsh tone and breaks out of Gary’s grip.

“You’re hurting me. And no, I don’t. I mean the new kid,” Pete says like Gary is being ridiculous.

“You can’t work with him! Ask to switch back,” Gary says, and maybe if Petey weren’t so angry, he’d hear the panic laced in Gary’s voice. He is angry though, and he’s not in the mood to read into what Gary’s not saying.

“I can do whatever the hell I want. I don’t know what your problem with Trevor is, but you need to calm down because we’re friends. I think he’s a nice guy,” Petey lectures, keeping a hard stare directed at Gary.

“Well, you think wrong because you’re a naive little shit. He’s a dick, and I don’t want you anywhere near him for any reason!” Gary yells, standing and slamming his palms on the table. Petey bolts to his feet.

“I can have friends, Gary!  Your psycho-possessiveness is not cute!” Pete yells back, and suddenly all eyes are on them. Jimmy tugs on Gary’s shirt in an attempt to redirect his attention.

“Guys, seriously. Not here. Come on,” he urges, trying to speak softly, but all ears are on them, and it’d be impossible for anyone not to hear.

“I’m not trying to stop you from having friends!” Gary insists, ignoring Jimmy’s pleas. 

It really is bullshit that Pete is yelling at him unnecessarily for the second time today, and he’s tired of being made the bad guy.

“Yes you are! Just because no one likes you doesn’t mean that I can’t have friends! But that’s all that ever happens, Gary! And it’s your fault!” Jimmy gasps, and Pete’s eyes widen when he realizes what he’s just said.  

Gary just stares at him before turning and walking out of the cafeteria. Petey wonders how it is that he’s managed to make Gary leave a conversation out of anger twice in a week. This isn’t going to make tomorrow any easier.

“Damn it, Petey. What the fuck was that about?” Jimmy groans, knowing that tonight he’ll be sharing a bed with one less person.

“I don’t know,” Pete says, though that’s a lie. He’ll take his mistake to the grave if he can.


	8. Chapter 8

The next day is pure hell. If Gary’s mad at him, Jimmy is by extension, which Pete doesn’t really find fair because Jimmy tends to stay out of it if the situation is reversed.  

He wakes up alone in Jimmy’s old bed and with a sinking feeling of loneliness once he’s coherent enough to realize. Honestly, Petey hates sleeping alone, even when he’s the one angry at Gary. If he didn’t think it’d be unbearably awkward, he’d prefer to still be curled between his boys regardless of any annoyance he might still be feeling. The fact that neither of them have ever asked him to just put his anger aside for the night and come to bed is a rejection Pete suffers in silence.

Gary is dressed and gone by the time Pete convinces himself to get up. Another thing that weighs on his conscious. He runs into Jimmy on the way to the room, flinching when he’s met with a cold stare before the older boy moves on. Pete’s kind of proud of himself for making it into the room and closing the door before he starts sniffling. It’s not fair really, because he’s one kid, and he’s feeling a little overwhelmed by everything.

Pete knows that out of the three of them, he’s the most responsible, and that has a tendency to mean more responsibility in general. Jimmy and Gary have always been there to help him through things though. Or as much as they could.  

This is an entirely different matter all together. He can’t tell them about this. It’s something he has to try and fix himself while keeping them from knowing. That’s hard enough. And now they’re mad at him for something he can’t help but feel.  

Petey is lonely. He wants friends. He loves them ,but just once, Pete wants positive contact from someone who doesn’t want to fuck him.  

Pete’s been alienated almost all his life. For Gary no less. Pete’s earliest memory of school is being taunted by others for being friends with Gary Smith, because that boy is trouble, and nobody wants to be involved with that. Pete isn’t really sure if he ever was friends with Gary as much as he’s been rejected for it.

Trevor doesn’t mind it though. Seems to even want a friendship with Gary himself, despite Gary’s insistence that he wants nothing to do with Trevor. And it’s all entirely too much for Pete to handle on his own.

—

The rest of the day doesn’t go much better. Trevor is nothing but sympathetic. And he’s on Pete’s side, which is a nice change. But their conversation does nothing to make him feel better. Instead, he’s left wondering if maybe Trevor is right when he says that just because their threesome does work doesn’t mean it should.  

It’s silly though. Gary and Pete fight all the time. It’s nothing out of the ordinary, and it sure as hell isn’t something they can’t get through. The thought is still left in his mind. Just another thing eating away at him.

He gets another page. This one is tucked under his lunch tray after he gets up to grab a spoon. It’s more innocent than the page the day before, but still not something he wants a cafeteria full of people to have easy access to. A small part of Petey is more angry that this person is destroying his journal than anything else.

Gary ignores him in math, which is a little heartbreaking. Pete’s gotten so use to dirty notes being thrown at him and the older boy’s teasing attempts at playing footsie, if only to make Kirby, who’s sitting behind them, uncomfortable. Pete tries to make eye contact several times throughout the class, but if Gary notices, he doesn’t do anything to show it.

Eventually, Pete gives up with a heavy sigh and traces the words of the journal page he’d received at lunch. It’s from over the summer when he and Gary had hung out in the park the day Jimmy was busy being forced to help his latest stepdad out with something.  

Pete remembers that day pretty well. Gary insisted they take over the jungle gym and had scared away kids any time they attempted to intrude, much to the annoyance of their parents. Petey had pretended to be annoyed as well, but he still let Gary fuck him in the slide later that night. He’s kind of a slut like that.

Petey’s dragged out of his thoughts when the bell rings and almost misses Gary quickly looking away. The older boy is packing up like he wants to get away before Pete can say anything. Well, Pete’s not going to let him get away this time.  

He grabs Gary’s wrist to get his attention. Gary turns and stares at him.  Pete goes to say something, but stares awkwardly back when he realizes he probably should have thought this out more.

“Remember when we went to the park?” he says instead of anything intelligent.  

Gary stares back at him blankly. Oh well, better roll with it.  

“Remember? Over the summer. When Jimmy was stuck cleaning his attic or whatever?” Still nothing. Pete sighs and lets go of Gary’s wrist to wrap his arms around himself. “We had sex in the slide?” he offers.

“I remember,” is all Gary says, but he’s not smiling in that lewd way he would be if everything were okay. He’s not teasing Pete about how he’d begged Gary to fuck him that night even though they were in public, and it was barely past dark.

“You said...afterwards, you said that sex like that was the reason you’d put up with me bitching at you for forever. And I got kinda pissy at you and sort of started bitching, and you kissed me and said-”

“I said forever, didn’t I?  And I guess I love you and stuff too,” Gary finishes, and Petey gives a small smile.

“Right. Exactly. So I...I dunno,” Pete mumbles, suddenly losing all his bravado.

“You’re kind of a bitch, Pete,” Gary tell him, and Pete’s stomach drops.

“I know, but-”

“But the sex is pretty fantastic,” Gary interrupts.

“And?” Pete asks, hopeful.

“And...I guess I love you...and stuff...asshole.”

Petey all but tackles the other boy who collects him in a hug after a moment of standing there awkwardly. Pete isn’t the biggest of boys. Hell Gary isn’t really either, but he’s still bigger than Pete, and it’s comforting being wrapped up in him.

Pete refuses to untangle himself until he’s made aware that their math teacher is staring at them. Which is really awkward, and he blushes, quickly grabbing his things. Gary is all cocky smiles again, and if that isn’t the best thing Pete has seen all day, he doesn’t know what is.

“Hey. Come to the library with me,” Gary says once they’re alone in the hallways, grabbing Petey’s wrist and tangling their fingers together. Pete stares down at their hands before looking back up at Gary.

“I have class. You have class too. Why would you skip in the library?” Pete asks, confused, but also elated at the offer.

“Forget it. Come with me. Jimmy’ll be there. It’s fine,” Gary explains like that makes any difference.  

Pete bites his lip in thought, glancing once again at their intertwined fingers.

“I...I guess once won’t hurt. It’s not like you could possibly get into too much trouble in the library,” Pete concedes, allowing himself to be lead out the main building.

He’s wrong. He’s so so wrong that it’s not even funny. But it’s also kind of awesome squished between his boys, filled with cock from both ends. He feels better than he has all day, which only has a little to do with the fact that he’s a cock whore.  The horrified screech of the librarian is totally worth it.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's real, actual, fictional sex in this chapter. Petey likes dick. Gary likes pain. All three of them talk a lot when they fuck; I can't write sex any other way.

They don’t exactly get the chance to enjoy post-sex cuddling, what with the librarian shooting him this terrible look of betrayal, so Pete drags both of his grinning boys back to the dorm. He’s stripping out of his jeans before he’s even in the door, which is pretty out of character for him to say the least.  

The two older boys share a look as Petey falls onto the bed with a happy noise. Admittedly, they’ve been fighting more than usual, so it’s not too surprising that Pete is in as good a mood as he is now, but he’s acting weird at the same time. It’s almost concerning.

Or it would be if Pete wasn’t grabbing at their zippers the second they joined him on the bed. Now on a good day, Petey is enthusiastic in bed. More than enthusiastic even. This is different. He’s practically gagging for it. It’s inspiring.

“Jesus christ, Petey. What the fuck has gotten into you?” Jimmy asks, hissing when Gary smacks him in-between trying to help Petey undo his jeans.

“You. In me,” Pete demands, giving up in his attempt at getting the boys’ jeans off and rolling over to present his brief clad ass.

“Anything you want, sweetheart,” Gary agrees, climbing on top of the smaller boy and mouthing down his spine. Which Jimmy is having none of because sweet petnames are cheating, and Gary got to fuck Pete in the library.

“Fuck off, Smith.  It’s my turn,” Jimmy says, grabbing Gary back roughly by his hair, pulling a moan from the boy. He tugs Gary into a kiss, biting his bottom lip just soft enough to not break skin. Nothing gets Gary going more than a little bit of pain and a promise. “You can have me after.”

Gary’s not going to turn that down, and he complacently rolls off of Petey once Jimmy lets go of his hair. He’s content to silently watch if it means he gets to have Jimmy. Or as silently as he can because to be quite honest, there isn’t much they can do together without snarking at one another, sex included.  

Jimmy grins down at him, appreciating the dazed, blissed out look. They’ve pretty much lost Gary to his own mind for now.

Turning his attention back to Pete, who clearly didn’t appreciate the distraction, he grips his hips. The boy is so cooperative like this, and it’s always a nice change from the usual, controlling Petey who has to have everything just so.

“I don’t know what’s got you acting so weird,” Jimmy says, trailing a finger down the younger boy’s spine and reveling in his whine. “But I’m sure it’s nothing a good fuck can’t solve, am I right?”  

Of course, he doesn’t get much in response, except what might be an annoyed look and Pete grinding back into him. Jimmy’s much better than Gary about being told what to do though, so he’s quick to take the hint.

He moves away for a split second to grab supplies out of the dresser, but apparently it isn’t quick enough for Pete because he’s back to making annoyed, impatient noises. Which yeah, Jimmy isn’t going to listen to because for once, he’s not the one so sexed in the head that he doesn’t remember to be responsible.

“You’re the one who insists on condoms. Calm your tits, Pete,” Jimmy tells him, ignoring Gary’s snort of amusement.  He doesn’t know how the boy can seem so out of it and be as aware as he is.

Throwing the condom on the bed, he pulls Gary up next to him and puts the bottle of lube in his hand. “Make yourself useful, yeah?” he asks with a kiss before leaning back to enjoy the show.

Gary blinks and stares down at his hand. Jimmy’s patient with him though; sometimes Gary needs a little time to process things during sex. In no time at all, Gary’s mouth is quirking in a sly grin that usually means trouble. In bed, it probably just means more trouble.

Jimmy’s breath hitches as Gary discards the bottle of lube in favor of burying his face in Pete’s ass. Which he wasn’t expecting, to be honest. Jimmy thinks rimming is weird and Pete thinks it’s disgusting, so he’d just assumed that Gary was on the same wavelength as them.  

Apparently not if if the happy, turned on moaning is anything to go by. He doesn’t know why he’s so surprised. Gary is a treasure trove of fucked up kinks, and this is nothing compared to what Gary likes done to himself.

Petey’s making weird, almost pained gasping noises, and if Jimmy didn’t know any better, he’d think Pete hated it. The way the younger boy is attempting to shove his hips back speak against that though. And yeah, it’s a hot sight, but saliva isn’t really going to do much to help with the actual fucking no matter what porn says, and Pete sounds like he’s nearing his limit so Jimmy’s forced to pull Gary off.

“You’re useless,” he says affectionately, pushing Gary to the side and holding his hand out expectantly. Gary pushes himself up with his elbows and ‘glares.’ Really he’s just pouting, but Jimmy just stares back until Gary hands him the bottle of lube. Petey is panting and Jimmy rubs his side, attempting to comfort him.

“I know, Pete. He’s so mean for teasing you when you’re so close. I’ve got you,” Jimmy reassures, slicking up two fingers and scissoring them into the younger boy’s ass.  

They do this far too often for two fingers to be anything more than a slight discomfort. Usually Jimmy draws this out, teases Pete until he’s begging for it but usually, Gary doesn’t shove his god damn tongue in Pete. This time, he’s opening him just enough that they can get this over with. Not that he doesn’t love fucking Petey but god, he feels like he’s ready to explode, and over sensitivity isn’t his thing.  It’s Gary’s.

Petey whines when Jimmy pulls his fingers out for more lube, but Jimmy is quick to shut him up with more fingers. Jimmy only has the patience for a few more minutes of prepping before he’s pulling his fingers out once again and slicking up his dick. He rubs the tip against Petey’s hole, unable to help himself. 

Pete shoots his head around to glare at Jimmy, but his hair’s a mess, and his face is a freshly fucked pink color, so Jimmy really can’t take him seriously.

“Jim-ah!” Petey starts but is cut off when Jimmy fucks into him. Pete remembers a time, in the beginning, when they were careful with him. When it took them ages to get all the way inside of him. Fuck that. Pete’s got no qualms against his boys being able to get all of themselves in him in one go.

“Dirty little fuck. You’re such a goodie goodie, Petey. Imagine if everyone could see you now. Fucking gagging for cock,” Jimmy mumbles into his back, grinning.  

Gary crawls up the bed so that he’s in front of Pete, leaning in for a kiss. Jimmy quickens his thrusts, drawing noises out of Pete that Gary swallows. He can feel Pete tense before he’s essentially screaming into Gary’s mouth, and coming all over their comforter. It’s not usually this quick, Jimmy’s not sure what’s gotten into Pete.

Gary smiles against Petey’s lips, allowing him to slump onto the bed. He takes a moment to wonder if the boy realizes he’s laying in his own jizz.

“Ew,” Pete complains half heartedly, but doesn’t make any attempt to move out of the wet spot. He curls on his side once Jimmy pulls out, and offers a small smile to the other two. “Wanna watch you,” he mumbles.

“Yeah. Okay. Yes. Let’s do this,” Jimmy rambles, shoving Gary on his back and climbing on top of him.  

Jimmy spends approximately all of two seconds prepping himself before he’s sitting himself on Gary’s dick, which is not nearly enough, but he’s horny, and he’ll be the first to admit that he likes the burn. Him and Gary are bit more destructive when it comes to sex.

Jimmy grabs Gary’s hands with his own and pushes them above their heads against the bed. It’s an odd position, not the most comfortable, but works perfectly for what they need. Gary’s fucking up and Jimmy’s fucking back. It’s this constant routine of taking what they want, and relying on the other person to do the same. It doesn’t come off as the least bit loving, and Petey wonders if maybe that’s why they always seem to hold hands when they have sex. Maybe it’s to keep them grounded.

This is possibly one of Pete’s favorite things to do, watch his boys fuck. It’s when they’re the most honest with each other, and even if it seems like they’re just taking, Pete knows that they’re both more concerned with getting the other to cum.

It doesn’t take long for Jimmy to fall over the edge, and he bites Gary shoulder as he does, definitely breaking skin if Gary pleasured moan and his orgasm are anything to go by. They drop on either side of Pete and he brings a hand to each of their faces. Gary’s shoulder is bleeding and Jimmy has a little bit of blood by his mouth but Petey can’t deny how satisfied they look.

“Why do you always have to hurt each other?” he complains half-heartedly, petting both of them.

“Cause he likes it,” Jimmy counters, laughing.  

Pete can’t argue.  He knows that Gary does, and as concerned as he is about indulging that side of the older boy, he supposes that this is a better alternative to the way things use to be.  

“Pain slut,” Jimmy teases.

“Feels good,” Gary groans and leans into the petting.

“Your shoulder, or the petting?” Petey asks, already knowing the answer.

“Both,” Gary mumbles, eye closing.  Pete sighs and rolls his eyes.

“Don’t get blood on the comforter,” he lectures softly.

Gary snorts.  “You’re laying in semen, shut up.”  

And really, what can he say?


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gary’s parents in this story do not follow some of the speculations from the ramblings of the townsfolk in the game. Ergo, Gary’s father did not go to prison. It also contains a fair bit of headcanon about just about everyone, as well as references to things said by NPCs.

When they were in Kindergarten, they had to do this stupid little school play for a grade. It was a tiny little production of _The Wolf in Sheep’s Clothes_ made child friendly, and their parents had to make their costumes for them.  

Petey was a sheep, and Gary had been demoted to a tree after it was found that he made too aggressive of a wolf. He remembers because his daddy had made him the best sheep costume out of the lot. He also remembers Gary getting yelled by the director for not having a costume the night of the play. Petey had assumed at the time that Gary just thought it was stupid. That the lack of costume was his Kindergarten way of rebelling.

They’d all lined up on the stage, and Pete had spotted his daddy so he’d waved, smiling brightly when the older man waved back. Gary had laughed at him and told him to stop being such a baby. Only babies had their parents come watch them at the school play.  

He’d had to hold back tears the entire time which wasn’t hard since the only lines the sheep had were to baa. Gary was stupid, and wrong, and just jealous because Petey had an awesome costume while Gary had to wear brown overalls and a stupid green hat that the art teacher had gotten from the lost and found.

Afterward, Petey had bounced around his daddy’s heals, soaking in the man’s compliments at how good of a sheep he made. It’d been a good play, and Petey only had to stand by Gary once. The other boy hadn’t seemed to be paying much attention, like he was lost in thought. Petey didn’t much care, it just means that Gary left him alone.  

They were making their way out of the auditorium so they could go out to eat in celebration when they ran into Gary. He was huddled up, sitting on the curb, but didn’t seem to be waiting for anything.

“Gary, didn’t your parents come watch the play?” Petey’s daddy had asked, his hatred of the boy having not yet been rooted. Sometimes Pete wishes that his dad could turn that same kind of blind eye to his boyfriend. Gary had looked up and rubbed at his eyes.

“No,” was all he said, voice sounding strange, and Petey’s daddy had made a noise of understanding before holding out his hand.

“Come eat with us, and then I’ll take you home, okay?” he’d said gently, urging the little boy to stand from the curb. Gary had looked conflicted, rubbing at his eyes again before nodding.

“Kay...cause food,” he’d clarified. Petey’s daddy had laughed and nodded.

“Cause food.”

Petey found out later that neither of Gary’s parents had been home in a couple days. 

—

It’s that memory that occupies Petey’s mind during the cab ride to Gary’s house. He’s nervous now and second guessing his decision. Not for the first time, he wishes he knew how to keep his nose out of things.  

He knows what kind of people Gary’s parents are. It’s not exactly a secret that neither of them want much to do with him, the exception being his father’s  triennial attempt to involve himself in his son’s life. But if there’s anything that school play taught him, it’s that appearances are deceiving.

“Why are we in Old Bullworth Vale?” Jimmy asks, giving an odd look at the mansion-like building the cab is parked in front of. It’s like any other house in the west side of the residential area. Big. Flashy. No doubt costing more than an entire neighborhood of any other area of Bullworth.

“Because this is where I live?” Gary answers sharply, not sounding too pleased at the fact and avoiding eye contact as he opens the cab door. Jimmy chokes on his laughter.

“No. No. Don’t tell me. Gary Smith is new money? This is a joke, right? Good one. No, but seriously. Tell the driver your address,” Jimmy laughs, punching Gary in the shoulder. Gary grunts and slides out, going to the trunk to grab their bags.

“I’m not new money,” he grumbles, throwing Jimmy’s bag onto the sidewalk before grabbing his and Pete’s bags.

“W-what?” Jimmy stutters, crawling out after him.  

Pete begins wondering how he didn’t expect everything to go to shit from the start. Of course, he’d been for telling Jimmy for ages, but he figures now is as good a time as any. Well, now will have to do anyways.

“Gary’s grandfather owns the town. They’re the oldest money Bullworth has,” Pete informs him, accepting his bag from Gary with a quick kiss and running to pay the cabbie. He’ll leave his boys to hash this out for a few minutes.

“You...what?” Jimmy mumbles, taking a second look at the house.  

He feels a little hurt, though he’d rather die than let it show. He won’t let Gary Smith of all people make him feel like this. Like he’s not good enough or something. Like this wasn’t something he deserved to know.

“Is there a problem, James?” Gary grits out, shouldering past him roughly. Jimmy stands with his mouth agape before Pete appears next to him.

“You can’t be mad at him for not telling you,” Petey whispers quietly, bending to retrieve Jimmy’s bag from the ground.

“Like hell I can’t,” Jimmy argues, scowling as Gary retreats into the house before jogging after him. Pete sighs and slowly makes his way after his boys. This should be a fun weekend.

“How dare you hide this shit from me!” Jimmy yells after catching up with Gary in the foyer.  Gary throws his bag to the ground and whips to face Jimmy.

“You assumed I was poor; that’s your own fault, you asshole! I never said anything to give you the impression that I was,” Gary retorts, glaring at the other boy. Petey feels a little hopeless, standing in the doorway. Their yells are echoing through the large empty room, making them sound a thousand times worse. He’s not sure how it can get much worse.

“What the fuck, Gary?  You’ve never given any indication that you weren’t either!” Jimmy is beyond reason right now. This is clearly something Pete knew, and if Pete knows, it means Jimmy is the only one who doesn’t.  

That’s not something that Jimmy is used to, being out of the loop. And sure, Pete’s known Gary possibly since birth but that doesn’t mean that they’re allowed to keep secrets like this.

Suddenly it makes sense why they never came back to Gary’s over the summer. Why Petey would give him strange looks that he couldn’t decipher when he asked about it. Then would have been the time to tell him, but no.  They remained silent. They allowed the topic to be dropped. And he, foolishly thinking it was something deeply personal, hadn’t said a word about it. How stupid of him.

“How the fuck do you think I got back into Bullworth? I made an idiot out of the principal and demolished the entire pathetic hierarchy of that sorry excuse for a school!” Gary screams, shoving Jimmy. Gary has a problem with his flight instinct when it comes to Jimmy. It’s always fight with them.

“Yes. What a pricy endeavor that was,” a new voice says, and all three boys turn towards the new figure.  

Petey swallows hard and wishes yet again that he’d stayed out of it. She’s pretty, just like he remembers her from the times he saw her in his youth. Though the wild edge and the little motherly vibe he used to get from her is gone.

“Mom,” Gary greets coldly at the woman leaning against the archway, smoking.

“Mom?” Jimmy repeats, confused. 

He supposes he can kind of see it. They have the same eyes except where Gary’s have a thousand dimensions to them, hers just look dead. But she looks too young to have a kid as old as Gary, and Jimmy starts to wonder what else he doesn’t know about Gary.

“Hi, Mrs. Smith,” Petey greets in a small voice. She turns to look at him, eyes flashing for a split second in recognition.

“You’re that little boy,” she says absently. “You came around sometimes. Then you stopped. Please don’t stand in the doorway.”

“Um...yeah.  Hi,” he mumbles, averting his eyes as he shuffled in and closes the door behind him. This couldn’t get anymore awkward. She turns back toward Jimmy and Gary, eyeing Jimmy up.

“You I don’t know,” she says snidely in a way that is entirely too similar to Gary when he’s trying to evaluate a situation he’s not sure about.

“Jimmy Hopkins,” Jimmy introduces, shooting her an unamused look.

“Oh! You’re that Hopkins boy. You shoved my son off a building,” she sighs, look of displeasure. “I don’t suppose you could have solved your little quarrel in a less disruptive way?”

“Less disruptive how, exactly?” Jimmy growls, completely forgetting his anger towards Gary, who’s just staring at her blankly. Gary, who always has something to say back. Unless he cares. Unless he’s hurt. Who is this woman who can bring something awful like that out in him when Jimmy had assumed that was solely for him and Pete?

“People talk. People talk without proof he’s a psychopath. We didn’t need the asylum visit to fuel that flame,” she says, dismissing the topic with a wave. “But it happened. But why are you here? Gerald was expecting him, but I wasn’t told about you two.”

“We’re fucking,” Gary blurts, and she loses her composure instantly. It’s like something snapped and suddenly her eyes are angry. So so angry and yet, less frightening than the dead look to them before.

“Well, fantastic. It must be nice to do whatever the fuck you want with no consideration to others, you little bastard!” she hisses, flicking her cigarette at him and storming off.

“I’m not a bastard, you got married before I was born!” he yells after her.

Petey is staring intently at the marble flooring, clutching at his bag like it’s a lifeline. The silence is really awful, and he wishes he were brave enough to break it. Anger is rolling off of Jimmy in waves, but he has a feeling it’s not directed at Gary anymore. Finally, Gary grabs Jimmy’s wrist and tugs him towards the stairs.

“Come on, Petey,” he commands, leading Jimmy up the stairs.

“What the fuck is her problem?” Jimmy raves, allowing Gary to pull him along.  He’s a little afraid if he doesn’t let Gary keep ahold of him, there won’t be anything stopping him from finding that bitch and letting her know what he thinks of her.

“A mix of a loveless marriage and my monthly med cocktail bill,” Gary responds, maneuvering through a complicated series of hallways. Jimmy wonders how he could possibly know where he’s going in a house this big. “Reality is a massive bitch.”

“She’s gotten worse,” Petey comments sadly, jogging to catch up and latching on to Gary’s other arm. Gary makes a noise of annoyance, but doesn’t say anything or shrug Pete off.

“Life’s gotten worse,” Gary counters, kicking open what must be his bedroom door if the crayon drawings all over it are anything to go by. Mostly crude drawings of things on fire or odd demonic looking creatures. Jimmy takes a moment to examine them before stepping into the room.  It’s odd, the little things about Gary that he’s begun to find endearing when he knows that they’re really symptoms.

Gary’s room comes as another shock to Jimmy. He used to think about Gary and Petey’s rooms a lot before last summer. Whether they fit the boys who inhabited them. Pete’s was exactly like he’d expected, neat and with little mementos from the boy’s childhood. Embarrassing things like an old stuffed animal kept in plain sight on his bed, which Jimmy and Gary had teased him over, but now resided on their bed at school without much of a mention.  

Since he’d never been able to see Gary’s room, he’d just expected it to look like he imagined. And being that Gary’s expressed that his parents didn’t care much for him, he’d thought it might be impersonal. Like a dorm room, set up to live in, but not really a room owned by anyone. He was wrong though.

First of all, the room is huge like the rest of the house, but comfortable in a way that wasn’t achieved elsewhere. Like someone spent a lot of time in it, which is funny because he knows Gary probably hasn’t spent much time in it in a couple years. It’s nice though, in a way that most people wouldn’t expect out of Gary Smith, but still very befitting.  

The desk in the corner is organized chaos of papers and CDs. Everything is in colors of slate grey and blue. And yeah, there’s more crayon doodles near the floorboards and a collage of dictators on one wall, but one might call that artistic if they didn’t know Gary. All in all, it’s what he should have expected from Gary’s room. Except the cat eyeing them from the bed, he doesn’t know what that’s about.

“Crybaby, get out,” Gary snaps at the cat who only gives an unamused glance in their direction before sprawling out further. Gary gives an aggravated sigh and quickly grabs the protesting animal before placing it outside the room. He slams the door closed and slides down the door, pouting at the world.

“Crybaby?” Jimmy asks with a grin, and Pete laughs, forcing a smile from Gary.

“Stupid thing’s not mine. Mom likes greaser movies, all the cats are named after characters from shit greaser films. She’s from  New Coventry, so it’s not that weird. And the cats aren’t suppose to be in here,” he defends, kicking out towards Jimmy.

“You don’t like cats?” Jimmy asks, squatting down so that he’s in front of Gary.

“She’s afraid I’m going to kill them,” Gary mumbles, smile gone. Jimmy reaches out and cups the older boy’s face. Petey watches them from the other side of the room.

“What do you need?” Jimmy asks determinedly, like he’d honestly do anything that Gary asks of him. And maybe he would. Sad Gary isn’t something either of them like to see, and it’s not something they see often enough to really know how to handle it.

“I don’t want to talk about it. She either went off to drink or cry, so I just want to forget about it until my dad gets home, okay? Trashy TV,” Gary answers, grabbing one of Jimmy’s hands and pulling it off as he goes to stand.  

They all end up squished together on Gary’s bed despite it’s large size, making fun of the hot messes on Jerry Springer. Jimmy is anxious, and Gary’s still a little off, but it’s still nice. Not perfect, but nice. Looks can be deceiving after all.


	11. Chapter 11

He dreams of darkness and his childhood. Before she gave up on him and before he gave up on himself. Before the world snubbed him, and he was left to drown in his own mind. Sometimes Gary hates himself, but mostly, mostly he hates the rest of the world. His mind is no mystery to him anymore, nothing left to shock him into tears like when he was little.  

Sometimes he dreams of killing. 

Animals. 

Strangers. 

His boys.  

This is significantly worse. He can hear her crying, but she’s eternally out of reach. He’s not really sure what to do, but he needs her to stop crying because it hurts, and so he runs to her, but she’s just too far away. She was always too far away.

Gary dreams of the child psychiatrist who ruined his life. His stupid faux sympathetic frown. The way he acted like Gary was something to be feared when he was the one who was so fucking scared. All the stupid tests and how he would praise Gary for his drawings, but tut over them with his parents later like he couldn’t hear them. That man didn’t know him, not really. But she took his words to heart anyways, and Gary’s been sinking ever since.

—

He feels someone touching his face as he awakens. Tracing his scar from freshman year, he realizes. It’s almost comforting, until he opens his eyes to the sight of his mother leaning over him.  

He jumps, thankfully not so much that he jostles Jimmy or Petey awake, but she ignores him in favor of continuing to trace along the scar on his cheek. He remembers she used to do this when he was younger. Watch him while he slept. She stopped though, and he hasn’t seen her like this in a while. Eyes rimmed red from crying, her tough exterior cracked. He doesn’t know this weak, fragile creature. She scares him.

“Jesus christ, woman! I’m not four anymore. You can’t just creep over me while I sleep,” he hisses at her, grabbing her wrist. He intends to pull her hand off, but ends up simply holding her wrist where it is. His heart is beating a mile a minute. Part of him still wants his mommy to love him. Most of him just wants her to leave.

“You didn’t come home much this summer,” she states softly, not making a move to remove herself from his grip.  He stares at her oddly.

“Yeah?” he mumbles, confused.  

Gary had attempted to spend as little time at home as he could. An easy feat considering how much time the boys spent together over the summer. She sighs and breaks out of his grip, turning to leave.

“I wish you would have. I feel less empty when you’re home,” she says, leaving before he gets a chance to reply.  

Gary doesn’t know what he would have said if he’d been given the chance. It shocks him sometimes, how open she can be with him before closing herself off to the world once again. He reminds himself that he’s angry at her. That everything is her fault. The part of him that refuses to accept this is tamped down until he can pretend that it doesn’t exist. It’s so easy to blame her when she blames herself.

Jimmy starts to stir next to him and blinks open his eyes. He doesn’t know when they fell asleep, but it was a nap well needed. The past week has been hell for all of them. Jimmy peeks over at the boy next to him. He can feel him agitating. Gary looks conflicted, staring blankly at his bedroom door. Jimmy squeezes his thigh, smiling at him.

“Hey,” Jimmy croaks, attempting to draw Gary out of his thoughts. It’s never a good place to leave the older boy. Especially considering where they are. “You wanna brave going downstairs? Pete’s probably out for another hour or two. I doubt he slept well last night.”  

Gary lays back down and turns his head so that he’s facing Jimmy. He wants to stay like this just a bit longer because moments like this are nice. Moments where they’re all together, and everything is calm, and it doesn’t have to be about sex.  

Gary likes sex. He does, but there are times when the reminder that there are people who believe him capable of a relationship worth more than sex is much needed.

“I’m not going to hurt anyone. Not seriously,” Gary states instead of answering.

“I believe you,” Jimmy says, like he means it. 

Gary thinks about what that means. If anyone has a reason to call Gary out, it’s Jimmy. If anyone knows how capable of hurting someone Gary is, it’s Jimmy.

“I hate my meds. I think about not taking them all the time,” Gary admits. He’s not sure why he’s saying all of this, it just seems right. Jimmy turns and curls in closer.

“Why?” Jimmy asks.

“Why do I hate them, or why do I keep taking them?” Gary asks, pondering both questions over.

“Both I guess,” Jimmy says.  

Gary is usually closed off about this stuff. The fact that he wants to talk about speaks about how off the other boy is. Jimmy wants to know though. Wants to be able to understand Gary, even if it is the most terrifying thing in the world.

“They make me tired. I don’t feel in control of myself. I don’t like that some fucking people can decide that since I can’t be cured, they’re going to dope me up. And I’m angry all the time anyway so it’s like, what’s the point? I sleep all of about three hours most weeks and the medication doesn’t help me sleep, so I’m just even more tired. But...I don’t want to go back to Happy Volts. And I don’t want to hurt anyone,” Gary explains, feeling overwhelmed from just talking about it.

“What happened in Happy Volts?” Jimmy questions, grabbing Gary’s hands. Gary averts his eyes and shakes his head. “I know something happened. I mean, yeah, you’re kind of fucked in the head naturally, but you were different. You are different.” Gary shrugs.

“Medication is stronger. I don’t remember much,” Gary says, but Jimmy knows there’s something he’s not telling him. Jimmy isn’t going to push for now. After all, this is more than Gary has said about the entire ordeal since they all got together. But he knows there’s something more to all of this than Gary is letting him in on.

Petey mumbles sleepily, awaking slowly. It’s obvious just how tired he was now that he’s had some proper sleep. He doesn’t feel as on edge as before. He yawns before pushing himself up, smiling at his boyfriends.  His hair is sleep mussed and adorable, his face flushed.  

“Hey, how long was I out?” Petey asks softly, making a show of stretching.

“Hey. Not long. I was just telling Gary it’s about time we got our asses out of bed,” Jimmy answers, pushing Pete’s hair back. He pauses before grinning and turning to Gary. “Gary, tell Pete he looks sexy with his hair pushed back.”

“I’m not quoting that shit movie, you asshole,” Gary grumbles, rolling over Jimmy off the bed.

“You’re no fun, dick face,” Jimmy grumbles pleasantly. Gary snorts.

“Pete’s the one who always has cock in his mouth,” Gary objects, and Petey scoffs.

“You don’t complain when it’s your cock,” Petey retorts, huffing. Gary waves the comment away and offers out his hands to pull the boys out of bed.

“And I never will. Now come on. Let’s go face the dragon,” Gary demands, tugging the boys to their feet.  

Petey and Jimmy share a look when Gary’s back is turned before following him out of the room. For once, they’re going to let Gary take the lead with this.

—

The first thing Jimmy notices about Gary’s dad is that Gary looks nothing like him. He is 100% his mother’s child ,and Jimmy wonders if Gary found relief in that fact or if it was just another thing that ruined any possible relationship. 

The second thing he notices is that the man seems like one of those genuinely nice guy types. To everyone except his family that is. Jimmy hates those kind of people the most. They’re the type his mother preys on.

“Gary! My boy. It’s been forever. Come give your old man a hug,” the man calls out once he notices them. Gary stays where he is, giving the man an unamused look.

“How about no?” Gary sasses, cocking his head in challenge.  

Jimmy bites his lip to keep in his laughter at the look on the man’s face. It’s this perfect mixture of shock and hurt that makes Jimmy wonder just how little this man must have been in Gary’s life that causes him to react that way to him.

“Yes...well,” he starts, laughing nervously. “You certainly are your mother’s child, aren’t you?”

“I came out of her vagina, yeah,” Gary huffs.  

It’s kind of funny. It’s clear that Gary is already at the end of his rope, but he’s acting like a spoiled toddler. Generally, Jimmy and Pete have found it’s best to nip the attitude in the bud. Of course, Gary’s father can’t be expected to know that.

The man looks shell shocked and visibly takes a moment to collect himself. He shoots a look at Gary’s mother, but Jimmy can’t really figure out what it’s meant to mean. She sighs and examines her nails, like she can’t be bothered to concern herself with the matter. Jimmy knows that dismissive facade. It’s Gary’s favorite tactic for avoiding talks about his feelings.

“Right. Well, son. I’m glad you agreed to come up this weekend. I have to admit, I wasn’t expecting your...friends. But I see a familiar face. Mr. Peter Kowalski, you’re looking well,” the older man comments, shifting his attention away from his son. Petey offers a small smile.

“You too...sir,” Petey replies awkwardly. Fortunately, that seems to be all the interest Mr. Smith has in Petey because he turns his attention to Jimmy instead of replying.

“You though, you are a mystery. Just who might you be?” he asks, clearly evaluating Jimmy.

“Jimmy Hopkins,” Jimmy grits out, a sense of deja vu. Although, this man is much worse than Gary’s mother. At least there’s something about her that reminds Jimmy of Gary. Not personable, but there’s some good if you look for it. This man is all mask and show. A business man.

“James Hopkins! You’re the young man running around, grabbing my town by the balls. I admire that. It takes a true business man to go to those lengths to stay in control. And you’re not burning any bridges, are you?” Mr. Smith exclaims happily, side eying Gary as he says it. Jimmy fumes.

“Are you implying that I’m with your son because you own the town? Because I will knock your teeth out, I’m not even shitting you,” Jimmy threatens, crossing his arms and eyeing the man hard.

“Of course not,” he dismisses, waving the subject away. “That’d irresponsible of me, now wouldn’t it? Oh yes.” He laughs that fake, dismissive laugh. Like the idea is foolish. Like that isn’t exactly what he is. Irresponsible.

“Enough of the bullshit small talk. What do you want this time?” Gary demands. Gary’s dad brushes off his son’s rudeness immediately this time, grinning brightly like Gary just proclaimed his love for the man.

“Yes. Exactly. In a hurry to get straight to the point. Just like your old man. Well, I suppose there’s no reason to prolong this any further. I asked you here this weekend because I have a new business associate,” the older man proclaims, nodding his head in agreement to his own statement. What a tool.

“So? Why do I give a fuck?” Gary snots, crossing his arms and turning his head like he can’t believe he’s taking the time to listen to a word coming out of the man’s face. It’d be so funny if Jimmy weren’t so annoyed. Is actually still kind of funny, and Jimmy almost expects Gary to stamp his foot in tantrum.

“He’s only recently come into money of course, but I like to think we’re more understanding of the less fortunate than say, the Harringtons. I never did understand why you weren’t on better terms with that lot. Such well mannered children. Well bred too,” the man starts to ramble. Gary rolls his eyes.

“Taylor seems happy taking Harrinton’s cock up his ass. I wouldn’t want to steal his role as Harrington’s lapdog. That wouldn’t be very business-like of me, would it?” Gary mocks him.

“Anyways,” he continues, ignoring Gary’s comment. “He has a son who recently started attending your school, and I expect you’ll be the best of friends. For business sake. We can’t have the town falling apart again because you’re having a temper tantrum, can we? No, I didn’t think so. So I’ve taken the liberty of inviting them over. I’m sure you’ll be fast friends. Of course, I didn’t count on your friends joining us but no matter. Perhaps you lot have heard of them? The O’Hares? His son’s name, I believe...now what was it?” Gary stills, mouth open, staring past his father into the foyer.

“Oh, Trevor,” Petey acknowledges in surprise, catching sight of the boy next to a man that looked like an older version of his son. He gives a small smile to the boy who returns it happily.

“No,” Gary says, breathing heavily. He’s balling his hands into fists, but keeps them tightly against his side. Trying to keep himself together, Jimmy notes. Trying to control himself.

“Honestly Gary-” Trevor starts, but something in Gary snaps.

“NO! No. Get out of my house. No,” Gary screams over him.

Everyone is at a loss for words. Gary’s mother looks honestly shocked, and Gary’s father looks appalled. Petey is cringing, embarrassed at the outburst. Jimmy wonders if maybe he should herd Gary into a different room. Trevor’s father is clearly taken aback. It’s Trevor though, that Gary notices. That only Gary notices.  

Because Trevor is smiling.


	12. Chapter 12

“Gary Alexander Smith, what in the hell is wrong with you? I did not raise my child to speak to their guests in that manner, apologize right this moment!” Gary’s father insists, eye nervously making their way from Gary to Trevor’s father and back again. Gary laughs and shakes his head, still attempting to rein in his anger. 

“Shut up. You didn’t raise your child at all. I’m not fucking dealing with that asshole in my own home. Nobody’s allowed to ask that of me. I matter too,” Gary grits out, and Jimmy’s proud of him through the haze of worry and anger.  

Gary’s talking out his feelings, even though he usually laughs when either Jimmy or Petey try the tactic with him. Of course, Gary’s old man isn’t going to acknowledge how much that statement means. He doesn’t get it.

“As if anyone else matters in that head of yours!” Gary’s father yells, moving to grab his son by the arm as if to force him to apologize. Trevor steps forward and gestures at the man to stop.

“Mr. Smith. It’s fine. Just fine. I’m sure Gary is just a little overwhelmed. Some of us don’t adapt as well as others when we leave Happy Volts,” Trevor says, shaking his head and smiling at the man like they’re sharing a joke. “Just give Gary and I a moment alone, and I assure you, there won’t be anymore trouble.” 

Jimmy wants to punch the little weasel in the face. He turns to Pete to say something but freezes when he notices Pete smiling. At Trevor. Oh, hell no.

“I don’t-” Gary starts to argue before Petey’s sigh stops him, and he turns toward the younger boy.

“Honestly Gary, he just wants to talk. You could at least try. Why are you so afraid of hearing Trevor out?” Pete huffs, giving a small smile when Trevor mouths his thanks.

“I’m not afraid,” Gary retorts a little too frantically for Jimmy’s liking. Gary is very afraid. Gary is so afraid, and Jimmy doesn’t know of what or why. Just that it involves Trevor.

“Then go hear him out,” Petey dismisses, making a shooing motion. 

“Pete...”Jimmy goes to argue, but Trevor is already herding Gary into another room. He doesn’t know why, but he can’t squash the protective feeling that is usually reserved for Petey. Usually Gary can handle himself. He’s never seen Gary so scared. Not freshman year. Not after nightmares. Not ever.

Gary is doing everything he can to prevent himself for shaking as they get out of hearing distance of the rest of the house. Shaking out of anger, he tells himself. Just anger. Just because he hates Trevor. Not because he’s scared. He’s not. He’s Gary; he doesn’t get scared anymore.

“Gary Gary Gary, who knew that you were Daddy’s precious little boy that my father’s been absolutely raving about. You’re all I’ve ever heard about for two weeks. His new business associate’s prized son. You weren’t who I was expecting, but who am I to complain when opportunity falls in my lap,” Trevor laughs, reaching out to touch Gary’s shoulder. Gary jerks away and backs into a window.

“Don’t touch me,” he spits, eyeing Trevor’s hand like it’s something dangerous.

“Oh Gary, don’t be like that. Just think of the possibilities. Daddy would be so proud of you if you just played nice and gave in,” Trevor says, eye flashing. Gary shakes his head. 

“I don’t want anything to do with you. I’m not going back there either. Not for you.  Not for anything,” Gary tells him. Trevor’s eyes harden, and he sighs, shaking his head.

“Oh Gary. You will. You will. What are they going to believe? That Gary Smith cleaned up his act out of what, love? Please. My story’s far more believable. Gary Smith cleaned up his act long enough for his cell mate to get out. That’s something they’re going to believe,” Trevor explains, shaking his head again like he can’t believe Gary doesn’t understand.  

Maybe he can’t.

“You’re insane,” Gary says, inching further away from the boy. Trevor growls and pushes him back against the window.

“ _We_ are insane. Do not forget that we are the same god damn boat. The only difference is that I’m still going after what I want instead of...instead of pill fucking my genius. And I will get what I want,” Trevor insists, prodding Gary in the chest with his index finger. Gary pushes him away, satisfaction setting in when the other boy stumbles back.

“You want me?” Gary asks, to clarify. Trevor laughs as he steadies himself.

“You know, I don’t know anymore. I haven’t _decided_ yet, because you are mean Gary Smith, and I’m not so sure I like you anymore,” the other boy says happily.  

Gary presses himself further into the window and wonders briefly if this is what people saw freshman year. If this is what people still see in him. Gary knows he’s bad but god damnit, he hopes he isn’t this bad.Trevor holds a finger up to his lips. 

“Remember to play nice, Gary. Daddy’s not too happy with you right now,” Trevor warns before leaving to join everyone else in the dining room. Gary slides down the window, grabbing his knees and curling into himself. That fucker is crazy, and Gary doesn’t really have much room to talk. But mostly, Gary doesn’t like having to play by other people’s rules. He just wishes he knew what Trevor’s rules were.

By the time Gary joins everyone, they’ve already started eating. He tries not to dwell on the fact that no one thought to wait on him. Petey is deep in conversation with Trevor about something or other, and Jimmy is glaring holes in surprisingly not just Trevor, but Pete as well.  

Gary slips into a seat next to Jimmy and silently starts eating. Like family dinners growing up, except everyone is happy and talking. Well, maybe not everyone. Jimmy still looks pretty pissed off, and Gary’s mom keeps sneaking glances at Gary between pretending to listen to Trevor’s father.

“Ah, Gary. You’re done throwing a tantrum then?” Gary father asks with a smile. A stupid fake fucking smile that reminds Gary of his stupid fake child psychiatrist. Gary hates that fucking man, and he hates that smile. He hates everything, and he doesn’t know how to stop the god damn sudden urge to hurt something helpless. God, Gary doesn’t want to hurt anyone, but right now he really, really does.

So instead he stands up and walks away.  

Leaves.  

Runs away.   

Runs away from his family, and Trevor, and all that god damn fake smiling. He can’t get away from the urge to hurt something, but three out of four ain’t bad.  

Petey always tells him he should detach himself from a situation if he feels overwhelmed, so he thinks maybe Petey will be proud of him for not saying anything or breaking something. Except Pete has this sour look on his face that he’s directing at Gary, and that hurts, so he runs away from that too. People always did call Gary a coward.

Jimmy watches Gary go and waits all of thirty seconds before he’s making after him. No one else is making a comment. They’re all going back to their conversations like Gary didn’t just make a giant effort. Like he’s some troublesome child they can’t be bothered with. Jimmy wonders if this is what Gary was treated like as an actual child. He thinks that’s probably the case.

Petey watches Jimmy run after Gary and wonders for the first time in a long while if maybe he’s a mistake. Gary and Jimmy had been quick to squash that concern early in the relationship. Self-pity wasn’t attractive, and he’s well aware that, to society, Petey is the most promising of the lot.  

But Petey can’t help but marvel at how dedicated his boys can be when they really want something. Both Gary and Jimmy have succeeded at taking over a school for christ sake. That’s something Petey could never achieve.

Despite that reassurance, Petey knows that he has his share of fuck ups. Sometimes he gets a sick thrill out of pissing Gary off, even as much as he loves the older boy. The part of him that still holds grudges against his boyfriend. And as much as he truly likes Trevor, Pete loves their friendship in part because Gary hates it.   

Pete doesn’t know why Gary has such a problem with Trevor; the older boy won’t even give him a bullshit excuse like he will with just about anyone else he hates. But he does, and Petey kind of loves it in a way that makes him sick to his stomach.

“So Trevor, I see that you and Gary are already aquatinted,” Gary’s father comments, cocking an eyebrow. Trevor smiles and nods. That’s something Petey loves most about Trevor. Unlike his boys who hardly ever smile unless they’re doing something terrible, Trevor smiles at everyone all the time. Trevor is nice to everyone. Even Gary. 

“We are. We’ve run into each other a few times at school. Petey and I are also pretty good friends, so it’s inevitable. But we were also cell mates at Happy Volts, which can probably explain his behavior. I can understand wanting to get away from everything associated with that place. I just want to show him that we don’t have to block out everything to move past it,” Trevor explains.

“You mentioned that earlier as well. You were staying at the asylum?” Gary’s dad asks.  

Petey hates the way he says that. ‘Staying at the asylum,’ like it’s a Hilton or a vacation. Politely, when Gary’s been vocal, to him at least, about what his father really thought about the asylum stay.

“Yes sir. Got into a bit of trouble, but I’ve moved past it. It’s almost like a different person left Happy Volts. I’m not that person anymore,” Trevor says before he turns to his father. “And I can’t apologize enough for how my actions could have jeopardized you.”  

“No problem at all, I’m proud of how you’ve improved yourself.”  His father smiles and rustles his hair. Trevor grimaces for a split second before he’s smiling again. Pete wonders if Trevor has a problem with touching like Gary does, and if he does, why his father doesn’t fall into the people who are allowed to touch him.

“But enough about me. I was looking forward to hearing embarrassing childhood stories. There’s got to be something you can tell me before we go?” Trevor asks. Gary’s father looks nervous, possibly because he wasn’t around enough to even begin to say anything about Gary’s childhood.

“He wet the bed to a late age,” Gary’s mother says almost offhandedly.  

Petey can’t help the laughter that bubbles up. He’s not surprised. After all, he’d done some research after getting together with Gary. He knows the symptoms. But it’s still the kind of thing he knows Gary is embarrassed over. Something on a small list of things.

“Trevor had that problem as well,” Trevor’s dad sympathizes. Petey turns to Trevor in surprise.

“Are you bipolar?” Pete asks, and Trevor whips his head to face him. 

“I’m _not_ bipolar,” Trevor hisses. Petey gapes at the boy’s tone.  

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes, at a loss for words. 

“ _Why_ would you even think that?” Trevor asks, his tone still harsh.  

Petey can feel everyone’s eyes on him, and he feels really awkward. He definitely wishes he weren’t so much of a pussy that he didn’t follow after Gary and Jimmy because he feels trapped without them. 

“I...you just, you show a lot of the symptoms, and you were in Happy Volts with Gary, so I thought...it doesn’t matter. It was rude to ask. I’m really sorry. There’s nothing wrong with it if you are,” Pete stammers to explain, voice small. Gary’s mother’s stare is the one he feels the most. She’s practically staring a hole into him.

Trevor grits his teeth before seeming to catch himself. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. Petey has the strangest urge to flee, which is something he’s never felt with Trevor before. It’s his fault of course, because he doesn’t know how to control his mouth. But still, he misses the feeling of safety and understanding that usually comes along with Trevor.

“It’s alright. I’m sorry. It’s an honest mistake. After spending so much time with Gary, I suppose you’d be seeing symptoms that aren’t there. I’m not Gary, though.” Trevor reasons, smile back on his face. Petey returns the smile gratefully.

“I know. Thanks, Trevor,” Pete says, offering the boy a hug. Trevor pulls him into a hug without hesitance, and Petey relaxes. All is well. A much simpler affair than apologizing with his boys.  

He doesn’t notice Trevor’s look of annoyance.


	13. Chapter 13

By the time Petey gets upstairs, everything seems to have calmed down. Gary and Jimmy are sitting in the hallway, talking about setting Pinky’s prom dress on fire, which Petey is shamefully taking as a good sign. As much as Gary bitches about the cats, he doesn’t seem to mind the three that have ganged up on the boys and collectively spread out across both of their laps. It’s kind of adorable in a completely deranged sort of way, but that’s pretty much the tagline of their relationship.

Petey clears his throat to gain their attention and shoots both boys an amused look. Jimmy doesn’t seem quite as pissed at him anymore if the grin he receives in return is anything to go by. That sets off warning bells that Pete doesn’t even want to think about because that means that the two had a serious conversation about him while he was downstairs. A serious conversation between the two never means anything good; they aren’t very serious people unless there are world domination plans going down or they’re punching some kid’s teeth in. But if it means that Jimmy’s not going to glare at him anymore, he’ll take it.

“Hey, Gary?” Petey starts innocently, moving to kneel in front of the two boys.  

One of the cats opens an eye to grumpily stare at Petey, unhappy at the disturbance. Petey attempts to placate the cat with a pet, and it seems to do the trick because the animal goes back to sleep.

“Yeah?” Gary answers.

“Just out of curiosity, what age _did_ you stop wetting the bed?” Petey asks, not so innocently.  

He can’t help the laughter that bubbles up at Gary’s face, which is the epitome of shock that quickly contorts itself to outrage. Jimmy looks mildly amused, though whether it’s the topic or Gary’s reaction, he doesn’t know. Likely both.

“A perfectly acceptable age, fuck you very much,” Gary huffs.  

Petey bursts into laughter at the image of a huffy Gary covered in cats. It really is the best thing he’s seen in a while.  

“I’m going to kill that woman,” Gary grumbles, and if Petey didn’t know better, he might take note of the subtle sudden redness to Gary’s face.

“I feel like I’m missing something,” Jimmy fishes, scooting only slightly to allow Petey to budge in without disrupting the pile of cats who reposition themselves to spread out along the new addition. Pete curls into them, head on Jimmy’s shoulder and a hand on Gary’s thigh.

“Gary used to get made fun of for wetting the bed because his mom told anyone who listened, and it got brought up pretty much any time an overnight thing was involved,” Petey tells him, smiling at the memory. It’s not often he gets to tease Gary.

“How have I never heard about this?” Jimmy asks with a grin.

“Everyone’s afraid to talk about it,” Petey says, shooting a look at Gary.

“Yeah, well. Maybe I wouldn’t have broken Taylor’s nose if he had kept his fucking mouth shut. It wasn’t even a problem at that point,” Gary dismisses. Petey makes a disbelieving noise.

“You were eight. I hardly think breaking his nose was a reasonable reaction.”

“You better hope Zoe never finds out,” Jimmy teases only for Petey to break into more laughter and Gary to mumble something.  

“What?” he asks, confused.

“Zoe knows. Zoe went to school with us until she got expelled. Believe me, Zoe knows,” Petey tells him once he’s gotten himself under control.

“And she hasn’t told me?” Jimmy says in mock outrage, although he maybe actually feels a little left out. Everyone knows everything about everyone else in Bullworth, and Jimmy doesn’t know anything that hasn’t happened in the short time he’s been here.

“Zoe likes Gary a lot more than you think she does,” Petey says, squeezing Gary’s thigh. Gary swats his hand off playfully.

“Bullshit,” Jimmy argues, grinning at the two.

“I’ve known Zoe a hell of a lot longer than you have. We’re not friends, but we have an understanding,” Gary says, shrugging. Jimmy looks at him suspiciously.

“What kind of understanding?” Jimmy asks.  

Gary grins in that dirty way that coincides with the suffering of others. It’s a grin that sends a shock down Jimmy’s spine; shamefully, it’s a shock of arousal. They really are bad people.

“The kind of understanding where Zoe has embarrassing childhood stories too,” Gary says. Jimmy raises his eyebrows in interest.

“Such as?” he pushes but Gary shakes his head.

“If Zoe’s going to keep to her end, I’m not going to sell her out. I _like_ Zoe. At least, I like her more than most people. Not hard, but I digress. Zoe would curb stomp my spleen,” Gary waves off the question.

“Oh, so you’re scared?” Jimmy attempts, but Gary just cocks his head to the side and smiles.

“Rightfully so. Don’t act like you’re not afraid of Zoe,” Gary ignores his boyfriend’s attempts at egging him on.

“I don’t know shit about you guys, and you know everything about each other,” Jimmy complains, threading a hand through Pete’s hair. Petey nods in agreement, humming pleasantly.

“I know, I’m really sorry about that.  We can tell you stuff, if you want?  What do you want to know?” Pete offers, and Jimmy shrugs.  He doesn’t even know what to ask.

“When we were in first grade, I found some spiders in a puddle during recess so I put them down Petey’s shirt,” Gary announces. Jimmy laughs and nudges the older boy with his shoulder.

“Why?” Jimmy asks, though he doubts Gary has a good reason for it. He’s gotten the feeling since he first met Gary and Pete that Gary’s been a constant source of terror for the younger boy since childhood.

“The teacher had this chart with little gold stars on it for good behavior or whatever. That stupid bullshit that teachers do to try and get kids to be thoughtful. And at the end of the week, right before recess, she’d make a point to add or subtract stars. Point out kids who were ‘superstars’ or whatever she called them,” Gary remembers, and Jimmy isn’t sure what this has to do with the initial story, but it’s something else to learn.

“Let me guess, you never had any stars,” Jimmy teases, and Gary makes a small noise.

“I got one once.  For helping Zoe spell her name because her parents are stupid, white trash fucks who don’t give a fuck about whether or not she can spell, and I felt bad. Russell can spell his fucking name. And she was so fucking shocked that I don’t even think she’d ever expected to have to give me a star, so of course, I was really proud of that stupid sticker.  I pretty much spent all day staring at it,” Gary admits, huffing out a bitter laugh.

“Bif and Derby said your daddy probably paid her to give you one when she did the weekly recap,” Petey adds, remembering the day clearly.

“So I said, ‘at least my daddy’s money means something,’ and Harringon cried,” Gary continues. “And of course she gets all mad because if anyone’s parents were paying her, it was them. She starts yelling at me in front of the class which, by the way, she never did to anyone else. Everyone else got pulled aside if she had to talk to them, but I wasn’t important enough for that because I’m a sociopath, and my daddy wasn’t about to sue the school over it like some people.”

“You’re not a sociopath,” Petey argues, but Gary just shrugs the comment off.

“So she starts yelling at me, all, ‘Gary Smith. I don’t know why I even bothered giving you a star at all. You’re a horrible little boy. Maybe if you acted like the other kids, you’d actually earn some stars. Look at Petey, he’s been class superstar for several weeks now.  Don’t you want a lot of stars like Pete, Gary?’ ” Gary imitates, rolling his eyes.

“What did you say?” Jimmy asks, grinning when Gary smirks.

“I said, ‘Petey’s a faggot,’ and she flipped her shit. She called his dad and my parents. I wasn’t allowed in Pete’s house anymore after that,” Gary tells him, still smirking. He looks way too proud of himself in Petey’s opinion.

“But why did you put spiders down his shirt?” Jimmy asks. If anything, Gary’s smirk gets even wider.

“I just wanted him to know I was sorry,” Gary says innocently before bursting into laughter. Jimmy tries to hold it but ultimately ends up joining him, much to Petey’s annoyance. He pouts and crosses his arms.

“Why don’t the preps make comments like that anymore? Things about your money?” Jimmy asks suddenly, thinking it over. He’d have known before now about Gary’s family if comments like that had been tossed around.

“Haven’t you noticed? There’s two kinds of kids that go to Bullworth. Two kinds of people that live in Bullworth.  The rich and the poor, and it doesn’t really matter whether your money is new or old as long as you have it. And it doesn’t matter what happens down the road, you’ll always be that rich or poor person.  

New money just means it’s only been passed down one or two generations so maybe Harrington’s great-grandfather was a nobody with nothing to his name but daddy has money which means Harrington has money and that’s all that matters. My great great grandfather apparently built this town up into the pompous shit hole it is today, so my grandfather and my dad are somebody to the right kind of ass kissers. But my mom, she’s from New Coventry, and no matter how much money she married into, she’s poor. She’s nobody. And I’m my mother’s child so I’m nobody.”

Gary says this so matter of factly that Jimmy wonders if this was the same sort of thing every Bullworth local had engraved into their very being as a child. Sometimes Jimmy talks with the Townies. They’re Zoe’s friends in the end, and he likes keeping relative peace with all of Bullworth’s factions. Gary’s tone falls along the same lines as the Townies when they’re telling their own stories.

When Jimmy first arrived at Bullworth, Gary explained the social hierarchy to him. Nerds are at the bottom, non-cliques falling somewhere in the middle, with the jocks at the very top. Stupid and powerful.  

But now, Jimmy’s spent enough time with Gary to conclude that the older boy might have been spouting the lines fed to him from his first years at school. Jimmy has no doubts that in the eyes of high school, the jocks do in fact top the chain. But Jimmy also suspects that Gary himself bestows that honor primarily to the preps and the greasers.

The thought initially is laughable. Gary hates both groups with a gusto; but then, Gary hates all of the groups at Bullworth that aren’t their ragtag sham of a clique. But they also represent two constants that come with life in Bullworth: the rich and the poor. The only two groups of power that matter if you plan to stay in Bullworth.  

Jimmy’s been here long enough to know that there’s no such thing as a jock in the real world of important people, and that no nerd that stays in Bullworth is ever going to be anybody’s boss.

The preps take over their parent’s companies and produce their own spawn with each other or some new big shot coming into some money. The smart ones play into the politics of a small northern town, plying money into the school and the police station to prepare the next generation for their inevitable continuation of the chain.

On the other end of the playing field are the greasers who have their own part in the politics. There’s never anything as dangerous as a nobody trying to be a somebody. Jimmy knows what greasers grow up into, and it’s nothing more or less criminal than what the preps become. They control whatever bits the preps have deemed unworthy or risky to have, and they do so with such dedication that Jimmy suspects that if the preps ever tried to take it, there’d be a full out war in Bullworth.  

He can’t even begin to guess who would win.

“Have you ever considered leaving Bullworth behind? There are other things out there than some fucked up town ran by two opposing social classes,” Jimmy suggests, taking note of Petey’s sudden look of discomfort. It’s a similar look of discomfort that overcomes anyone in Bullworth asked about leaving.

“Jimmy, we can’t leave. Bullworth is our home. Where would we go?” Petey points out, grabbing his arms so that he was hugging himself. It was a habit of Pete’s, to attempt to make himself smaller as if that were even possible.

“I won’t leave. Bullworth is mine. This is my town, and I won’t be run out of it by some fucked up little brats that think they understand even a little bit what’s going on behind the scenes!” Gary yells, scaring the cats in their lap who gracelessly slink away. Jimmy can tell by his tone that the topic is closed, and he can’t help but worry about what this means for their future.


	14. Chapter 14

They make a hasty exit the next morning. Gary’s dad is all fake smiles again, like the events of last night had never happened. Like he’s convinced himself that everything went to plan, and there hadn’t been a big scene. As far as Jimmy knows, he could have convinced himself of this. It seems like a very Mr. Smith thing to do.

Mr. Smith is shaking his hand, telling them not to be strangers. Petey looks uncomfortable again, but he’s the only one. Jimmy himself isn’t trying to hide the fact that he’s disgusted with this man; both Gary and his mother are staring blankly ahead.  

He knows from experience that this is a sign that his boy is lost in thought, so he can only assume that the same is true for his mom. It’s probably better that they get Gary out of here quickly and not let him spend too much time in his own mind.

He’s about to lead the boys out when Mrs. Smith shoots out an arm to grab Gary. Not aggressively or anything. More as a urgent, last minute thought than anything, and she almost looks surprised at herself for doing it.  

Gary’s dad attempts to pry her fingers off their son’s arm, but for the first time since Jimmy’s been here, she acknowledges him by shooting him a glare that has him withdrawing his hand.

“Victoria, let the boy go,” Mr. Smith orders her pleasantly, but even Petey can hear the harsh edge to it.

“You have to go to work, don’t you? Go ahead. I just want to say goodbye to our son,” she tells him in reply with more attitude than Jimmy’s heard out of her in the past 24 hours.  

Gary had said she was from New Coventry, so he’d say it was safe to assume she’d been a greaser during her years at Bullworth. But she hadn’t spoken with the attitude prominent in those living in New Coventry so he wasn’t sure what to think of her. This is a nice change.

Mr. Smith looks conflicted before grabbing his briefcase and placing a kiss on the woman’s cheek, causing her face to contort to a brief look of displeasure. Not that he noticed. The entire thing was entirely unpleasant and awkward to look at.

“I’ll be back in a couple days,” he promises her before exiting the house.

“You’re not going to be back for months, and that’s fucking peachy for me,” she mumbles once the sound of a car’s engine is heard. “God, one day that asshole will die, and not a single member of our family will cry. The man’s father doesn’t even like him.” Gary laughs and gently pulls his arm out of his mother’s grip.

“The old man only likes useful people,” Gary points out with a grin. Jimmy can’t believe what he sees because he could swear she smiles back in response.

“Oh yeah? Why’s he care about you so much then?” she asks in what could be considered teasing. “Regardless. Stay out of trouble kid. You might actually graduate, and wouldn’t that be a joyous day for us all?” Gary is still for a moment while he thinks about how to take that. Finally he nods in agreement and turns, waving behind him in a half-hearted goodbye.

—

Gary and Jimmy don’t wait long to get naked when they get back. Jimmy’s pinning the older boy down, paying particular attention to the inside of his thighs. The thing about Gary is that he doesn’t like to be teased, even if the teasing felt good. He doesn’t like his control being taken from him in that way. It’s the same reason he doesn’t bottom, they’re pretty sure, and while they respect that, Jimmy has no qualms about teasing Gary and working him up.

“Stop it,” Garry complains, attempting to squirm away from Jimmy’s mouth.  Jimmy’s only response is to bite the area he’d been sucking on, resulting in a sharp intake of breath from Gary.

“I’m not letting you fuck me right now, so if you wanna cum, you might want to shut the fuck up,” Jimmy warns him, licking the bite in apology.

“Why nooooot?” Gary draws out, whining.

Jimmy pulls his head up from between Gary’s thighs to stare at the older boy. He’s still holding him down, but Gary’s not fighting anymore, so there’s not really a reason for it except to assert some sort of dominance. Jimmy brings his face so that they’re just touching.

“Because I don’t want to,” he says seriously, pushing in closer so they can kiss. Which of course is only a distraction because once Gary is occupied with kissing back, Jimmy takes the opportunity to bite down on the other boy’s bottom lip. Gary pulls back out of both shock and pain.

“Jesus christ,” he groans.

“You guys are so weird,” Petey comments from beside them, not looking up from what he’s writing.

“You’re the one doing your homework next to us having sex,” Gary retorts, taking advantage of Jimmy being distracted to pull out of his grip and roll over onto his stomach.

“Sex we’re going to finish,” Jimmy asserts, grabbing Gary’s hips.

“I’m not doing my homework,” Petey corrects as Gary shoves his hips back playfully.  More to be an annoyance than anything sexual.

“What are you doing then?” Gary asks, resting his chin on his hands.

“I’m doing Zoe’s homework,” Petey answers absent-mindedly as he glances at the textbook in his lap before writing something down.  Jimmy immediately drops Gary and stops Petey from writing.

“Why are you doing Zoe’s homework?” he demands, crossing his arms. He loves Zoe but the last thing he needs is the girl taking advantage of Petey. She’s got a manipulative streak a mile long.

“I needed a favor,” Petey tells him, rolling his eyes. He swears to god, sometimes Jimmy and Gary are too protective. Especially since they both still harass him.

“A favor from Zoe?” Gary chimes in, cocking an eyebrow.

“Weren’t you busy trying to orgasm or something?” Petey questions with a huff.

“This is more interesting,” Gary insists. “What do you need from Zoe that we couldn’t do?  Is it a girl thing, Femme-boy?”

“It’s not a girl thing! It’s just...it’s a Zoe thing. I needed Zoe. And it’s none of your business, so back off,” Petey defends, ignoring them and going back to writing.

“Hey, don’t ignore me! What’s Zoe got that we don’t, besides a vagina?” Gary insists, pushing himself up.

“Tact, for one thing,” Petey grumbles.

“I have plenty of god damn tact,” Gary argues only to receive a placating pat on his hip by Jimmy.

“Of course you do. You have great people skills. The best,” Jimmy croons mockingly, laughing when Gary swings at him. Pete snaps the textbook closed and collects it along with the notebook he was writing in.

“I’m going to library. Why don’t you two actually focus on giving someone an orgasm for once instead of bleeding all over our bed,” Petey grumps, storming out of the room.

“I’d say we do fine considering how many times we’ve had you coming all over yourself, you little bitch!” Gary screams after him, drawing Petey the attention of every boy in the dorm. They catcall at him, and he hastens his pace out of the building. Sometimes he really hates his boys.

Gary falls back against the mattress with a thud and a sigh. He pokes a bit at his dick, which had softened during the entire exchange.

“Not even hard anymore,” he notes sadly.

Jimmy laughs and shoves him further into the bed.

“We can fix that,” Jimmy promises, digging his fingers into Gary’s shoulders. It’ll bruise, and Gary will bitch about it later. A nice little constant to their chaotic relationship.

“Yeah? What are your plans on that, Hopkins?” Gary challenges, cocking his head with a smirk that Jimmy can’t wait to knock it off his stupid face.

“I’m not going to let you fuck me, you asshole. I already told you. Wipe that shitty grin off your face,” Jimmy growls at him.

“God James, you really know how to let a boy know you’re into him. I’m real fucking hurt,” Gary says, but he’s not, and they both know that Jimmy knows. Jimmy doesn’t want the day to come where Gary always says what he means.

“Fuck you,” Jimmy mumbles in that affectionate way he can’t help around Gary. The older boy knocks Jimmy off of him and rolls so that his face is tucked away in the boy’s side.

“I’m not even horny,” Gary complains.

“You’re always horny,” Jimmy disagrees, but makes no move to reengage Gary in sex.

“I’m not. Tell me a story,” Gary demands.

“Do I look like a fucking babysitter to you?” Jimmy asks, prodding at the bruises already forming on Gary’s shoulder.

“No. You’d be an awful babysitter. Lose the kids and shit. It’d be kinda funny, I think,” Gary says, squirming a little at the pain, but making no other comment.

“When are you going to let me fuck you, so you shut the fuck up?  You clearly need it,” Jimmy asks.

“How about you go fuck yourself? How about that?” Gary growls in retaliation, huffing into the other boy’s side. All he gets in return is laughter.

—

Once he’s in the library, it doesn’t take him long to finish Zoe’s history homework. He’d been almost finished before he came anyway. But now he’s too embarrassed of his outburst to go back to the room, regardless of the fact that he knows the boys will welcome him back with little comment. He’s got a little more pride than that.

He’s agitating at a table in the corner, trying to decide what to do, when somebody pulls out a chair beside him. Petey looks over and offers a small smile when he realizes it’s Trevor.

“Hey Petey. What are you doing in here on the weekend?” he asks, leaning back in the seat.

“Just needed someplace quiet. You know how it is,” Petey says.

“I can imagine after last night,” Trevor agrees.  

That comment doesn’t sit well with Petey, but he lets it go without comment.

“Hey Trevor, can I ask you something?” Petey asks, hesitant of offending the boy again after the dinner the night before.

“Of course. Anything you want, Pete,” Trevor reassures.

“Well...in chemistry you said something about rich kids being snobs but your dad has money.  I mean, he’s a business associate of Gary’s dad, so that’s a big deal. Everybody here knows that a family associated positively with the Smiths is valuable in more than just money,” Petey points out.

“I wasn’t raised on money like the brats here. Like Gary. I don’t have the ego from money that they do,” Trevor explains, but Petey won’t let that one pass.

“Gary’s ego doesn’t come from money,” Pete defends.

“No, I don’t suppose it does. Gary Smith’s ego is an entity all it’s own. It’s actually very admirable,” Trevor concedes. Pete’s stomach turns at that.

“What is that suppose to mean?” Pete asks.

“I...are you upset? I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m sorry. I think it’s been made clear that Gary and I are never going to be friends. But that doesn’t excuse my allowing it to harm our relationship,” Trevor apologizes, putting a hand on Petey’s.

“Our relationship?” Pete asks, eying Trevor’s hand.

“Our friendship. We’re still friends...aren’t we, Petey?” Trevor corrects.  

Petey is quiet for a moment. He likes Trevor despite the bursts of unpleasantness that have started to become more common. Pete can’t really blame Trevor for that though. The older boy has been such a good friend that his more human and teenager moments are contorting themselves into something they’re not in his mind. Petey won’t let his opinions be tainted by Gary’s insistence that Trevor is the anti-christ. He’s also sure that were Trevor actually the anti-christ, Gary would like him better.

“Yeah, of course. We’re still friends,” Petey reassures. Trevor grins and tightens his grip on Petey’s hand.

“Good. Good. Because you know, Petey. I _really_ like you,” Trevor admits.

“Excuse me?” a voice interrupts harshly. 

Petey feels his stomach drop. He hasn’t seen Gary look this angry in a long time.


	15. Chapter 15

“Gary,” Petey starts, only to be stopped by a hard stare from his boyfriend.

“Do not start with me, Pete,” Gary growls, turning his attention to Trevor who looks more amused than anything.  

Gary’s blood boils at that, and it’s out of more than sheer possessiveness. He doesn’t know how to get Petey to listen to him, and he doesn’t know how to scare Trevor away; with those two options gone, Gary is more vulnerable than he can physically stand to be.

“I think maybe you should calm down,” Trevor suggests, smiling.

“I think maybe you should listen to me, _friend_. That’s what you want, isn’t it? To be friends? Well, I’m not an expert on friendship, but as far as I’m aware, friends don’t touch what belongs to their friends. At least, not without permission,” Gary hisses. “And believe me when I say that you **_do not_** have my permission.”

Trevor shakes his head in disbelief, but even that comes off as the condescending action of an adult mocking an overreacting child. Gary’s no stranger to mind games, but that’s when he’s playing them.

“Petey isn’t an object, Gary. You don’t own him,” Trevor says, sending a reassuring smile to Pete who looks terrified. Trevor doesn’t like that Gary’s put that look on the boy’s face. Gary doesn’t deserve that honor.

“No, I don’t think you understand, so let me say it in the clearest way I know possible,” Gary says, walking up to the table and grabbing Petey by the back of his shirt. “ _This_ is mine. This is mine because **I** claimed it as my own, and the _only_ person besides me who touches this is Jimmy. Can you guess why that is, **_Trevor_**?”

Trevor looks mildly uncomfortable at Gary’s tone. Petey realizes that as hostile as Gary’s been towards Trevor, he’s never been more hostile than he is towards any other kid at Bullworth he dislikes. This sort of hostility has only surfaced during discussion of hypotheticals. It’s scary.

“Because he’s yours too?” Trevor guesses, sounding unimpressed. Gary smirks and releases Petey.

“Exactly. So I want you to remember that the next time you think about touching somebody else’s property. And I know you understand all about property, O’Hare,” Gary says, the underlying threat clear.

Petey wonders what it says about him that he no longer finds offense in Gary’s borderline obsessive thought of Petey as a thing to possess rather than a person. He should. If he were smart, he would have ran a long time ago when the basis of their relationship was built on a desire to just _have_ Jimmy and Petey.  

But Petey’s not smart in the way that the world wants him to be, and he knows that this is love for Gary. That Gary doesn’t know how to love any other way than to completely own a person’s existence.

“Whatever. You’re insane, and one day, everyone’s going to have enough of it. You got lucky. Out of some fluke, you tricked your enemy into a relationship, and every pathetic excuse for a person in this school conveniently pretends like you’re not out of your fucking mind,” Trevor snaps, leveling Gary with a glare. Again, Gary just smirks, and Trevor is taken aback.

“I’m not the one trying to hide what I am,” Gary sneers.

Trevor opens his mouth as if to counter but can’t seem to find any words. That’s why Gary backs down and allows himself to take a less defensive stance. This entire time, Trevor’s managed to win this game of manipulation because Gary’s had more to lose in upsetting Petey.  

Well Gary doesn’t really care if Pete’s upset now as long as Trevor understands that Gary will literally rip his throat out if Petey gets hurt. **_Literally_**.

“Trevor,” Petey tries.

“It’s fine, Pete. I’ll see you later,” Trevor interrupts harshly, glaring at Gary as he collects his things.

There’s a moment once Trevor’s gone where Petey and Gary only stare at each other in silence. Petey looks conflicted between being sad and getting angry. Gary refuses to soften at this, and he keeps his expression serious no matter how much it kills him to know that it’d take two words from him to fix it.  

He thinks he’s in for another fight before Petey drops eye contact to stare down sadly at the table.

“Why can’t I have friends?” Petey asks quietly.

“I would destroy this entire god damn town to keep you safe from scum like that. The entire town,” Gary answers, sounding so serious that Petey has no doubts that he would if it came down to it. Petey looks up.

“Who’s going to keep me safe from you?” he asks, regretting it the moment it’s out of his mouth.  

“Do you want someone to save you, Petey? Are you afraid?” Gary questions, sounding more seriously taunting than anything Gary’s said to him in a long time.

Petey’s never been afraid of anyone as much as he’s been afraid of Gary. But he’s also never been afraid _for_ anyone as much as he has for Gary. Even if he probably should, he doesn’t want to be saved.

“No,” Petey answers quietly, sounding defeated.

“Good, because no one’s going to save you. And I wish I could tell you that I’m sorry and mean it, but I’m not. We’re so fucked up, Petey, and no amount of domesticated bullshit is ever going to change the fact that people are right when they say we’re a mistake,” Gary says, pushing Petey’s chair out so that he can stand in front of the boy. Petey shoves him, glaring.

“Fuck you!” he screams, shaking.  He doesn’t even care that the entire library can probably hear them now or that they’re seconds away from being kicked out.

“No, fuck you, Petey. Just because you want to live in a world of denial-” Gary starts, interrupted by Pete grabbing at his t-shirt and burying his face into Gary’s stomach.

“No! We’re not a mistake. We’re fucked up, and unnatural, and nowhere near the poster child of a healthy relationship, but we’re not a mistake, and fuck you if you think we are,” Petey argues, voice muffled.

Gary stops and allows himself to process that. He threads his fingers through Pete’s hair in what he hopes is a calming motion the way it is when Pete does it to him. The younger boy’s still shaking a little, and Gary allows himself to revel in that little bit of shame he feels that it’s his fault Petey’s like this. Anything that reminds him that he can feel remorse, even if his list of morals is shorter than most.

There are a lot of thing Gary would consider mistakes in his life. Getting caught for one. And allowing his father’s approval to be as high on his list of priorities for as long as it was. But this, this is the one thing he thinks he maybe got right.

“A date,” Gary mumbles, and Petey pulls away so he can look up at the older boy, fingers still fisted in his shirt.

“What?” he asks, scrubbing at his eyes with his free hand.

“I was suppose to come ask if you wanted to go on a date. Because we felt bad for making you leave,” Gary elaborates. Petey rewards him with a watery smile.

“We haven’t gone on a date in a really long time,” Petey reminds him hopefully.

“Yeah, I know. We’ve been busy and shit. We’ll go on one now,” Gary mumbles, shifting awkwardly.

“Where?” Petey asks, pulling himself up. He’s all in Gary’s space right now, and for such a physical person, he knows it still takes a lot for Gary to not forcefully remove him from his space.

“I don’t know, the carnival or something. It’s your date, you decide,” Gary scoffs.

“You’d go to the carnival for me?” Petey fishes. Gary crosses his arms and frowns.

“I feel like you’re just fishing now,” he accuses, and Pete laughs, collecting his things. He threads his fingers with the boy and leads Gary down to the first floor.

“I’d never,” Petey argues innocently.

Gary goes to respond, but is silenced by the librarian giving them an unpleasant look as they pass. Petey’s pretty sure that if the incident earlier in the week wasn’t enough to sour her opinion of him, this is. He laughs nervously as they leave, turning into full blown laughter once they’re out of the building. Gary grins and grabs Petey by the waist, tugging him back.

“You’re a manipulative little bitch,” Gary accuses.  “I like that.”

Petey looks back up at him and smiles. A couple of the nerds are staring at them, but Gary ignores them in favor of manhandling Pete against the door.

“Come on,” Petey complains half-heartedly, squirming against the weight of the other boy.

“Keep moving like that, and we aren’t going anywhere,” Gary threatens, biting lightly at the back of Petey’s neck.  

Pete’s not like Gary or even Jimmy; he doesn’t like pain. If anything, pain’s a complete and total turn off. But Gary’s come to find that in his own little fucked up way, Petey likes the threat of pain as long as that threat is coming from the two people he knows wouldn’t intentionally hurt him.

“Hey, I’ve been waiting for a fucking hour, and you two are busy getting busy against the door of the library,” Jimmy calls out, tone annoyed.

“Well, you know how it is when he’s gagging for it,” Gary teases, laughing at Pete’s offended noise.

“Gagging for it, screw you. Take me to the carnival, you jerks,” Petey demands, squirming his way out from Gary and sprinting his way down the steps toward Jimmy. Gary turns and watches him with amusement.  “He was awful to me,” Pete complains jokingly, pouting at Jimmy. Jimmy smirks and throws a fond look at Gary.

“He always is, Pete.”

The nerds are still watching like they’re some crazy nature documentary, and Gary shoves Algie as he makes his way down the steps. The nerds still have some sort of problem, not just with Gary, but with Petey too. Jimmy’s some sort of fucking god to them, and the two of them just aren’t good enough for him in the eyes of the nerds.  Not to mention, they’ve got some sort of crazy hive mind thing going on, and both Beatrice and Cornelius appear to still be heartbroken over the loss of Jimmy.

“Fuck off, losers. Don’t you have anything better to do than be creepy little voyeurs? Gonna go whack off to this later?” Gary taunts, ignoring the hissing that starts up as soon as he says it. Sometimes he really questions if he’s honestly the most mentally fucked up kid in this school. The nerds don’t always seem to be all there either.

“Leave the nerds alone, Gary,” Jimmy commands, impatient and ready to leave.

“Always gotta be the defender of the small and pathetic, Hopkins,” Gary comments, doing as he’s told regardless and joining the boys at the bottom of the steps. “Not too small, though,” he corrects viciously, eyeing Fatty and Algie. Jimmy rolls his eyes and lightly shoves Gary in the direction of the boy’s dorm.

“Whatever. Let’s just go,” Jimmy sighs, leading the boys away without so much of a look back.

“Oh, wow. That Gary Smith is a rude, nasty little shit. Isn’t he?” Trevor comments, leaning smugly again the door of the library. The nerds turn to him, surprised at his presence. They’re pretty sure no one had been there a minute ago but then, they were distracted by Jimmy’s poor excuses for company.

“He’s a sociopath,” Algie agrees bitterly. “Even Pete’s better than that.”

“Yeah, Petey’s nice at least,” Beatrice adds, frowning.

“Yeah, Gary doesn’t really deserve either of them, you’re right. You know what I think? I think what Gary deserves is a swift trip back where he belongs,” Trevor goads.

“That’s never going to happen. Jimmy protects him from the consequences of his actions,” Ernest argues. Trevor smirks.

“Speaking of consequences, I was hoping for the assistance of the lovely lady in your collection of intellectuals. Beatrice, was it? Do you think you could help me with something?” Trevor asks, smiling at her.

“I...is it something bad?” she asks, anxious.

“Oh no, Beatrice.  In fact, I think it’ll do this school a world of good.”


	16. Chapter 16

They’re not society’s ideal example of a normal relationship; they’re about one too many for the comfort of the masses, and they could probably check off more than one box on a list of abusive relationship warning signs. It doesn’t mean they care any less about each other, the exact opposite is more likely, but they can’t help it if their dynamic with each other makes others uncomfortable. Their relationship just works a little differently, a little more violently with a little more fighting that has the bonus of a hell of a lot more communicating, whether they want it or not.  Petey’s happy for it, but Jimmy and Gary argue that they could do without.

Dates aren’t a common thing. They hang out. Of course they hang out, they’re friends as well as lovers and, in Petey’s case, the only friends he’d had before Trevor. But dates are different than just hanging out with someone you’re going to take home afterward to get hot in the sheets. Not that they don’t get hot in the sheets after everything they do. Or before, for that matter. During even. They bang a lot, but that’s not the point. Long story short, they hang out a lot and fuck even more, but dates are an almost never sort of thing.

It’s not that Gary doesn’t enjoy going on dates, because he does. He’ll be damned if he ever admits it to anyone, but he like how cheesy and domestic it is. The hand holding and the public displays of something that looks suspiciously like cuddling. Being all over each other and, for a brief period of time, not giving a fuck who sees. They’re disgustingly in love buried deep beyond the teenage lust and aggressive demeanor of broken boys; Gary thinks its important to have dates every so often as an outlet for those feelings so they don’t walk around, acting like lovesick pussies for the town to see.

Usually when they plan to go in public for a date, which Petey maintains is a requirement if they want to grace it with the title of a date, they make it goal to find somewhere semi-private. Restaurants work really well, like the diner they went to for their first date where the waitstaff hates them, but puts up with their bullshit pretty well anyway. They’re in public, but they’re not specifically in the eyes of the public. Anyone paying any attention to them in a restaurant is at fault as far as they figure. In reality though, date or not, they make quite a spectacle of themselves. Or Gary and Jimmy do, anyway.

So far, they’ve avoided the carnival for good reason. Gary finds it harder to behave in large crowds of people, and he doesn’t have patience for the lines. There’s just too little payout for such a large investment of time. Jimmy had had to bite back a snide comment about how long their relationship would have to last before an ending would still be well worth the time invested in trying to have them for himself. He likes to rile Gary up, get him angry and bothered where there’s a little fight in him when it’s time to get naked, but he doesn’t want to poke at any open wounds. The topic of breaking up, even jokingly, is off limits.

Jimmy doesn’t have an opinion either way on the carnival; he’s just not dying to go. He’d had his fun freshman year with long nights spent among the flashing carnival rides, passing out long after curfew in the beach house and even a couple of times on the beach itself. Though, the very idea of having to spend a night grounding a jittery, overstimulated Gary has always had him shying away from the place as a potential date location. It isn’t exactly his ideal after-date activity.

The problem lies in Pete. Petey really, really loves the carnival. Has always loved the carnival since his first bleary-eyed visit with his parents. _Both_ his parents. His mother in particular had always found the place very appealing for artistic reasons, settling him on a blanket tucked away at the edge of the fairground, next to her easel and paints. 

He doesn’t remember, but he has pictures. Petey loves the carnival and hasn’t been in years. Not since it suddenly wasn’t cool to make carnival dates with your dad. There hadn’t been anyone else to go with.

They know, instinctively through mystical boyfriend senses, that he wants to go. He doesn’t have to tell them for them to know. Petey’s too considerate to ask that of Gary and too timid to explain his reasoning for wanting it in the first place.  ut Gary _knows_ Pete, probably better than anyone, and he knows what the carnival means to the younger boy. So they’re going; end of story.

—-

“When did it get so cloudy?” Petey asks, staring out the bus window sadly.

“Dunno. But it works out. There’ll be less people and they double the ride times when there’s nobody there,” Gary says, nudging at Jimmy in protest at being shoved into a window seat. Petey sighs and slinks down in his seat.

“What if it rains?” Petey points out, pouting. Gary perks up at that.

“Do you think it will?” he asks brightly, receiving an odd look from Jimmy. Gary stares back before shrugging.  “I like the rain. Nobody said we have to leave if it rains. They’ll keep the rides running.”  Jimmy rolls his eyes at the response and prods Gary in the hip.

“Stop squirming and annoying me. You’ll get out when we get there,” he instructs, hissing when Gary prods him back in retaliation.

“I’m not a dog, I don’t need to be caged in on the bus,” Gary argues.

“No, dogs are better behaved.  Maybe a puppy,” Jimmy agrees, smirking.

“I will piss on everything you love,” the older boy threatens, crossing his arms.

“Hear that, Petey? Gary wants to try out watersports,” Jimmy says, keeping his grin focused on Gary whose face goes shockingly blank for a few moments while processes the comeback.

“That’s disgusting. I can read between the lines. Keep your hidden affectionate comments away from me,” Gary groans, turning towards his own window. Jimmy rolls his eyes and turns slightly toward Pete, but worms an arm to wrap around Gary’s waist. As a position, it’s a little awkward, but it’s not good to leave Gary feeling trapped _and_ abandoned.

“It’s probably not going to rain,” Jimmy reassures, rolling his eyes when he feels Gary slink into the seat.

“We could go to the park if it rains,” Gary throws out, grinning a filthy grin reserved for talks about sex.

“What is your obsession with the park?  Besides the sex, obviously,” Jimmy asks.

“Having sex in the park is fun,” Petey points out, biting his tongue at the statement. Petey’s not usually very open about talking about sex unless they’re actually having sex, so it’s always funny to watch him get all embarrassed about it.

“That’s because you’re a dirty pervert!” Gary yells, whimpering softly when Jimmy punches him  lightly in the stomach in warning.

“Behave,” he chastises, glaring at the few people on the bus still staring at them.

“I like the park,” Gary whines, like that’s what he’s in trouble for. “I wasn’t allowed around other people’s children when I was little. Nobody wanted to play with me except Zoe, and she’s poor, so that wasn’t ever going to be a thing outside of school.”

“Petey played with you,” Jimmy points out. Gary rolls his eyes, like even thinking the statement was stupid.

“Pete didn’t want to play with me,” Gary argues.

“I really didn’t, though,” Petey agrees, smiling at the older boy. “I play with you now.” Gary sends him a filthy look.

“You play with something of mine, yeah,” he flirts, pouting when Jimmy pushes him back in the seat.

“The point being, you were allowed to play with Pete,” Jimmy says, bringing them back on topic. Gary shrugs.

“Pete’s not poor. He’s not living in the Vale, but they’ve always been well off. At least enough that his mom didn’t have to work,” Gary points out.

“You don’t talk about your mom a lot,” Jimmy tests, pulling Pete to sit between them. Mostly on top of, really. The boy comes willingly, and it’s a squeeze, but they’ve never really had complaints about being squished together in small spaces.

“Don’t remember much,” Petey says with a shrug. Jimmy takes that as a sign that it’s not touchy enough of a subject that he’ll regret bringing it up on a city bus.

“But Gary does?” Jimmy asks, eyebrow raised. Everything Jimmy knows about Petey’s mother, he knows from what Gary has said, and even that’s not much.

“Gary was older when she died,” Pete offers, but it doesn’t really explain much.

“You guys have really known each other forever,” Jimmy says in amazement. 

Jimmy hasn’t known much of anyone for longer than a year before he moved to Bullworth, and this new record is just because his mother’s convinced the school cleaned up his act.

“Our moms were friends. In school. I guess outside of school too, but Bullworth, as shitty as it is, it isn’t the real world. Just because something works in high school doesn’t mean it’s real,” Gary mumbles the last bit, staring out the bus window.  They’re getting close to the fairground, which doesn’t bode well for the night if the tone of the conversation is anything to go by.

“Shut up, Gary,” Petey hisses, the acidity of his tone shocking Jimmy. Pete gets mad, all the time even, and gets upset even more often, but Jimmy’s never heard a tone like that from him.

“What? You’re in denial,” Gary says, grabbing Petey’s arm. But Pete rips himself out of the older boy’s grip and shoves him against the window. Even Gary looks a little startled at the aggressive act, coming from Petey no less.  

The younger boy crawls up so he’s towering over Gary and holds him against the window where he’d have to deliberately defy Petey to move. And right now, Gary is a little horny and a lot freaked out, so he’s not going anywhere.

“And you have abandonment issues a mile fucking wide, but we’re not talking about that right now. Right now, we’re about to get off the bus and go to the motherfucking carnival and have a great date. And when we get home? We’re not going to have sex. No, we’re going to sit down and have a clearly necessary heart-to-heart where we try to convince you, once again, that we fucking love you. We. Fucking. Love. You. And if you think you’re getting any ass within the next 24 hours, you’re out of your god damn mind. Do you understand me?” Petey hisses.  

Gary nods slowly, mouth open from shock. Jimmy’d make fun of him, if he weren’t so stunned himself.  

“The bus stopped,” Jimmy offers helpfully. Petey smiles and climbs over Jimmy into the aisle. Jimmy and Gary are both watching him warily, but Pete only returns the looks with impatience.

“Coming?” he asks, crossing his arms.  

They stare blankly at him for a second, causing him to huff a sigh and make his way towards the front of the bus. Gary and Jimmy scramble after him, shoving each other in an attempt to not be the last one off the bus after that rare show of dominance from their boyfriend.

After pausing to allow one of the other boys to handle payment, Petey leads the boys into the carnival, satisfied that he has them at least a little subdued for the night. A reasonable distance behind him, Jimmy and Gary quietly shove each other, careful not to alert the boy in front of them.

“You pissed him off,” Jimmy whispers angrily, jabbing Gary in the side.

“I am so turned on right now,” Gary agrees, hip-checking him in return.

“Are you fighting?” Petey asks innocently, not even pausing or turning around to check. They share a look, running to catch up with him.

“Of course not Pete,” Jimmy placates, wrapping an arm around the boy’s waist.

“What kind of idiots do you take us for?” Gary adds.  

Petey gives them disbelieving looks, but he gets nothing but twin looks of innocence in reply. He lets it go. If they’re lying, at least they’re lying together.


	17. Chapter 17

Despite the alteration on the bus, Petey is really proud of his boyfriends. They’re behaving for once, and he’s actually having a really good time. Not that the boys don’t always try to behave during dates, but the carnival isn’t like going to dinner or the movies. There’s a lot of opportunity.

Considering the fact that this date is ultimately an apology, it’s actually pretty normal. There’s no awkward moment where Pete feels they might only be putting up with this for him. They’re just hanging out, with a little more flirting and physical contact than strictly necessary. It’s nice, and the boys are being pretty considerate in letting him dictate what they do.

And because they’re being so sweet, Petey decides that he has to let the boys go to the freak show, because that’s all they’ve really wanted to do all night, and Petey’s not going to stop them. He knows he could. If he told them he didn’t want to, they’d let it go. Probably with minimal argument too, but that wouldn’t be fair of him. That was his first mistake.

It’s not like Petey has anything against the freak show. He’s never actually been, and so he doesn’t have any opinion on the matter. He feels a bit bad, to be honest, because he can’t imagine why anyone would want to be gawked at like they were less than human. Pete’s had plenty of that in his life.

His mother had been appalled at the idea of the freak show. His dad would mention it occasionally when they’d go to the carnival together. Things like,‘if his mother were here.’ Pete can see where she’s coming from when they step into the tent.

Gary’s immediately occupied making dirty faces at the mermaid girl, which Petey chastises him about, but Gary ignores him.

“Courtney doesn’t mind,” he says, laughing when she bats her eyelashes at him.

“Courtney?” Petey asks.

“D’you name the mermaid?” Jimmy teases, eying her. She blows him a kiss, and Petey pushes down the annoyance that bubbles up.

“No! It’s her name,” Gary answers defensively.

“Gary!” an excited voice shrieks, catching the mentioned boy's attention, much to the apparent annoyance of Courtney. “Look Jezebel, it’s Gary!”

“Fuck off, Smith,” the less kept twin growls.

Gary breaks into a grin, walking over to bang his hands into the glass.

“Hey, Delilah. Jezzy,” he greets, grinning wider at Jezebel’s scowl.

“Gary, Gary! You went away for a long time, why didn’t you come visit? I wanted to hear more stories about Jimmy,” Delilah asks, pouting. Gary flushes.

“Yeah, Gary. Why didn’t you come tell them more stories about Jimmy?” Jimmy teases.

“Shut up, Hopkins!” Gary growls, averting his eyes.

“Hopkins? Oh, you’re Jimmy! You never said anything, so I didn’t think...” Delilah starts, grinning when she realizes. “Are you and Jimmy _boyfriends_?” The girl whispers the last part, like it’s a secret. Jimmy and Petey laugh, much to the delight of Jezebel.

“Delilah, sweetheart, shut up,” Gary says as nicely as he can, because Delilah is sensitive, and he doesn’t have a death wish if she cries. Jezebel is a terrible sister, but she’s also protective.

“It’s okay! I liked Jimmy, but I thought maybe you did too, because of how you talked about him. Why did you stop coming?” Delilah asks, sunny disposition unwavering.

“I was busy,” he mumbles.

“I heard you got your ass locked up in Happy Volts,” Jezebel says with a sneer. She and Delilah jump back when Gary hits the glass again.

“Fuck you! Fuck you, you sick bitch,” Gary yells, attempting to shrug Jimmy off when the boy tries to pull him away. Jimmy manages to grab ahold of him anyway, and he tugs the older boy back from the glass. Gary’s not pleased, and he tries to struggle out of the other boy’s grip, but eventually he accepts his fate and settles down.

“Don’t know why they let you out! You suck, you’re the real freak, Gary Smith!” Jezebel screams, banging on the glass once it’s clear that Jimmy has a secure hold on the boy.

“Stop it! Jezebel! Stop it!” Delilah shouts, looking close to tears.

“We should leave now,” Petey says, taking notice that while they’re the only patrons in the tent, the entirety of the freak show is watching them. Including a murderous looking Courtney.

“No, don’t leave. Don’t leave. It’s okay. Jezebel, stop it,” Delilah begs, sounding frantic.

“Why?” Petey asks, unsure. Delilah seems very distressed by the thought of them leaving, and he’s not so sure it’s a good idea to keep Gary in this situation, but he’s curious about her reaction.

“Gary’s the only one who talks to us like we’re people,” Delilah whispers sadly. “And Jezebel is just upset, because he left for a long time, and he didn’t come back, but he’s here now, so you should calm down.”

Her sister slumps at that.

“I didn’t miss him,” she denies, crossing her arms.

“He talks to us like we’re people,” Delilah repeats, staring hopefully at Petey.

“When? When did he talk to you?” Petey asks.

“Pete-” Gary starts to complain. Pete ignores him.

“When?” he repeats.

“Uh, two years ago? Maybe,” Delilah answers uncertainly.

“He started coming in November,” Jezebel adds, trying to sound like she cares less. Petey’s starting to get the picture, but he asks just to make sure.

“A little after Halloween of our freshman year?” he asks.

“Yeah! At first he came because he said that Jimmy had a crush on me, and it was awesome. I asked him if I had to keep it a secret, and he said I could tell anyone I wanted so I told everyone because I was soooo excited,” Delilah says, delighted. “Jezebel said he wasn’t going to come back, and that he was probably lying, but it made my day anyways. But then he did come back, like almost every day! And he told us about Bullworth Academy, and the town, and Jimmy!”

“He talked about Jimmy a lot, but he never mentioned him liking Delilah past the first day. And we never asked him to, he just ranted,” Jezebel adds, sounding aggrieved, but Petey has the feeling she appreciated the company as much as Delilah did.

“Yeah, and sometimes he’d ask us stuff, so we’d talk about the freak show, and sometimes we talked about stuff from when we were younger. Gary’s mom has a million cats, which is funny, cause there use to be a cat lady exhibit when we were younger,” Delilah continues, giggling.

“Sounds like you guys are friends,” Jimmy comments with a smile. He can feel Gary shift awkwardly.

“Yeah? I mean yes. Yes, we’re friends,” Delilah says, sounding uncertain.

“Yeah, Delilah. We’re friends,” Gary says, sounding pained. Gary doesn’t do the feelings thing, or the being nice to people thing, but Jimmy isn’t surprised he managed to make friends with some of the freak show.

“I’m glad! You said you didn’t make friends after the Zoe thing, so-” Delilah starts, cut off by Gary’s noise of distress.

“Zoe thing?” Jimmy repeats. “What Zoe thing?” He looks to Pete in question, but the boy is avoiding his gaze, looking suddenly uncomfortable.

“There’s no Zoe thing,” Gary denies.

“Oh, did I…” Delilah asks, worried that she may have screwed up.

“That was definitely a secret,” Jezebel not-so-whispers, sharing a look with her sister.

“What Zoe thing?” Jimmy repeats, turning Gary to face him.

“There’s no Zoe thing,” Gary tries again.

“What Zoe thing?” Jimmy asks, this time directed at Petey.

“It’s not really my place to talk about it,” Petey argues.

Jimmy growls, annoyed. The twins slink back to the back of their room to talk quietly amongst themselves, sensing that their part in the conversation was over.

“You went to school with Zoe, since Kindergarten?”

“Yes,” Gary growls, “We’ve already been over that.”

“She wanted to play with you?” Jimmy adds, recalling the conversation on the bus.

“She was the _only one_ who wanted to play with me,” Gary corrects harshly.

The older boy shifts miserably. He’d been doing so good, and Petey had looked so content with the date. He’d even been having fun himself, and it’d been nice to see the twins again, but Delilah had to open her mouth. 

He knows he can’t be too mad at the girl. Her loose lips had been his initial reason for seeking her out. But now he has to deal with his indiscretion of letting the girl know anything about him.

“Zoe never mentioned anything about you being friends,” Jimmy starts cautiously.

“Zoe’s a cunt,” Gary growls, pushing past the younger boy to storm out of the tent. Jimmy watches him go, confused and concerned. He knows Gary and Zoe get along, just like he knows their neutral relationship started after Jimmy, Gary, and Petey’s relationship stabilized.

“I don’t understand,” Jimmy mumbles. “Gary only tolerates Zoe. He always looks a little mad when I mention us hanging out?”

“Jimmy, Gary loves Zoe. Just…not your Zoe, y’know? Gary loves _his_ Zoe. But she’s gone, and sometimes that hurts him, even if he doesn’t want to acknowledge it,” Petey corrects with a sigh. 

Unlike Gary’s financial status, he can’t feel bad about keeping this a secret. The only one who had any right to tell Jimmy about this was Gary or Zoe, and Gary was never going to. Frankly, he’s surprised that Zoe hadn’t even mentioned it, and part of Petey resents her for that. How could she be so indifferent about something that hurt Gary so badly?

“What do you mean, ‘his Zoe’?” Jimmy asks, head pounding at the direction the night had taken. He knows he should follow after Gary, probably shouldn’t have let him leave to begin with, but he’s confused, and he wants to understand before he faces down his upset boyfriend.

“You should talk to Zoe,” Petey mumbles. “Or Gary, but you’ll probably get more out of Zoe. She’ll probably have more insight on her reasoning, but maybe not. They were pretty close.”

“Were,” Jimmy repeats. “Not anymore?”

“Obviously. I mean, I think they still care about each other a lot. I know Gary does, and there are signs Zoe does too. But they’re both pretty stubborn.”

“Whose fault was it?” Jimmy asks. Petey shifts awkwardly.

“Jimmy…it’s not…it’s nobody’s…I wouldn’t say fault,” Petey answers, stumbling over how to respond without involving himself too heavily. He knows, but he doesn’t want to place blame where he knows Gary doesn’t. Or maybe it’s that Gary blames himself. He isn’t sure.

“It was Zoe’s fault,” Jimmy guesses sadly.

“You should really talk with Zoe. And we should really go after Gary now. You know how he gets,” Petey dodges, tugging Jimmy in the direction of the exit.

“Yeah, I know,” Jimmy grumbles half-heartedly with a small smile. His boys are a confusing mess with a past more jumbled than he knows what to do with, but they’re his, and he’ll work it out.

“We’ll send him back your way. I’m sure he missed you too,” Petey calls to the twins over his shoulder.

“Okay!” Delilah shouts, excited at the prospect.

“I didn’t miss him!” Jezebel shouts back, annoyed at the boys’ laughter as they leave.

—-

Despite their concern, they find their boyfriend sitting on a bench, pouting and eating funnel cake. He’s sitting with his knees to his chest, plate carefully balanced on his knees. They slide next to him on either side.

“Gonna share?” Petey asks, breaking a piece off without waiting for an answer. The perks of dating are endless. Jimmy carefully pulls Gary towards him, placing a kiss against the side of his head.

“I’m going to talk to Zoe, and then we’re going to talk,” Jimmy says, leaving no room for argument.

“You and me?” Gary asks quietly, making no comment on the show of affection. 

Gary and Jimmy show each other plenty of affection on their own time, but it’s a rarity in public. Pete’s the one who’s more for public displays of affection, and Gary likes public displays of dominance, but even on dates, Gary and Jimmy tend to keep their affection focused on Petey. 

Pete likes to think it’s because people expect them lavish affection on him, but their affection for each other is a more private affair. He likes that, the thought that they have something just for them.

“Yeah. I love you both, but you’re both so pig-headed. I know you got hurt, but I bet it’s something that can be fixed.”

“It can’t be fixed,” Gary hisses, sounding tired.

“Patched then,” Jimmy concedes, kissing Gary again. “You love Zoe.” It’s not a question.

“I _loved_ Zoe,” Gary corrects.

“She’s the same Zoe,” Jimmy tries, but Gary shakes his head.

“No, she’s not.”

Jimmy disagrees, but he doesn’t argue.


	18. Chapter 18

It turns out that he doesn’t have to find Zoe. She finds him after school, sitting against the wall surrounding the boy’s dorm in the front of the school. He’d been keeping Gary company while he smoked, and fuck whoever supplied him with cigarettes, because he knows the boy doesn’t waste money on them, and that means someone gave them to him. 

He’s alone now though, Gary having fucked off somewhere to do something he didn’t ask about, lest Petey’s anger fall on him if it was something stupid. It hadn’t been his plan to spend the late afternoon people watching, but he’d been far too comfortable with Gary laying between his legs, head resting on his chest, that even when the boy got up, Jimmy couldn’t have been fucked to do the same. Zoe easily slides in to fill the space Gary left, and Jimmy falls into the familiar motion of playing with her hair.

It’s grown a little, Zoe’s hair, and secretly Jimmy likes it. He knows if he told her, she’d chop it off without a second thought, and he thinks Zoe looks gorgeous regardless, but he’s into her experimenting with length.

Zoe’s different now, he realizes, than she was when he met her. She’s more comfortable with herself and her relationships with people. She’s not about to settle down like Jimmy has, but he can see her trying something more than one night stands at some point. He realizes though, if she’s changed this much in two years, surely she’s changed much more since middle school.

“Zoe,” he acknowledges softly, continuing to twirl strands of her hair around his finger. She makes no comment, but he can feel how content she is.

Part of him knows he never would have given her up if she could have been faithful to him. Granted, he’d had plenty of urges to sleep around when they’d been together, but he would have done it for her the same way he did for his boys. Another part of him feels guilty for the thought. He’s happy with his boys, and this is the way things went, so he won’t call it regret.

“Jimmy,” she acknowledges back with a happy sigh. “Embracing nature today, are we?”

“ _Someone_ gave Gary cigarettes. I kept him company,” Jimmy says pointedly. He knows his assumption is correct when he feels the laughter she’s trying to hold in. “You know we hate when he smokes.”

“Let the boy have his fun. Smoking takes the edge off,” she dismisses, tracing shapes into Jimmy’s leg with a finger. He tugs her hair teasingly.

“There wouldn’t be an edge if he didn’t smoke,” he points out.

They fall into a relaxed lull of silence, people watching together. Some kids give them odd looks, but they know better than to say anything. Jimmy is a lot of things, but he’s not a cheater. He’d made it clear to his conquests that they weren’t his one and only, and his boys are secure in their knowledge that he’s not going to run out on them for Zoe.

“Why aren’t you and Gary friends anymore?” Jimmy asks, breaking the silence. He feels her tense, and he feels bad, but it’s his duty as a boyfriend to figure this out. He won’t have Gary feeling betrayed every time he hangs out with his best friend.

“He told you about that?” she asks, voice low.

“Not really. He told the siamese twins at the carnival freshman year. We went to the carnival last night, as a date.”

She’s silent for a moment.

“He told the siamese twins at the carnival?” she repeats, disbelief tinging her tone.

“They’re friends, I guess? I dunno. It was a bad time for him. Makes sense that he’d make friends with people who couldn’t possibly judge him,” Jimmy says. Zoe sighs.

“Well, what do you already know?” she asks, sounding like she’d rather be anywhere but here. He knows if it were anyone else, she’d leave. It’s a testament to their friendship that she stays relaxed against him. It’s easier for her too, he knows, that she’s not looking at him.

“That you were friends when you were younger. Pete says you were really close. And then something happened, and it really fucked him up.” He’s trying his best not to place blame, because this isn’t about that. He just wants to know what happened.

“Pete said it’s my fault,” Zoe guesses.

“He didn’t-”

“It’s okay. It was my fault. And it was stupid, middle school bullshit. I can’t take it back though, and I’m not really trying. I figured I’d just cut my losses and try to build something new,” she explains.

“How much damage are we talking, Zoe?”

The girl shifts, uncomfortable. She doesn’t know if this conversation will be their last, and she’d been hoping that Gary really was as unaffected by it as he pretended to be. She’s happy, over-joyed that he’s not, because it means he still cares, but they’re not the same people.

“Don’t hate me,” she whispers, her voice sounding little and scared. He’s never seen her like this, and he wonders if maybe she was affected by it as well, despite it being her own fault.

“I could never hate you, Zoe,” he reassures her, wrapping an arm around her stomach.

“We were maybe, like, best friends? I mean, Pete’s always been in the picture, and if either of them tell you otherwise, they’re lying to you and themselves. Gary’s always been a little in love with Petey from the day he was fucking born. But we were really close. We met in Kindergarten, because we sat next to each other. Nobody else really wanted to play with us? I mean, they probably just didn’t want to play with Gary, but we were friends, so it was always us. Sometimes Petey too. I thought they were related at first, because they were weirdly close for how much of an asshole Gary was to him,” Zoe starts, elbowing Jimmy when he starts laughing.

“Don’t laugh. You’ll have to ask them about their relationship before they started school sometime. I think it’s because Petey’s mom was his godmother, but I’m not sure. I know their families use to be close. But yeah, we were close. Gary was there when my dad left…” she continues. “And I wasn’t allowed to go to their house past the first time. We got yelled at for it. But he’d come over to my house all the time.”

“Your relationship, it was like ours?” Jimmy asks.

“Have you ever seen Gary cry?” Zoe asks, looking back at him. He stares at her blankly. He can’t imagine anyone being allowed to see Gary Smith cry. She takes his silence in, staring down at the grass. “Wow, I’m an asshole.”

“You’ve seen Gary cry?” he asks her disbelievingly.

“His mom started getting distant, and his parents made him see a therapist when he was younger, until we moved into Bullworth, and he hated it. He’d come over after. I think he ended up telling me everything he should have told her. But she made him feel…disconnected from everyone else? He said he didn’t like being made to feel sub-human.”

He believes it. It sounds very Gary, and he knows the older boy feels alienated from everyone else because of the thoughts in his head. Petey and Jimmy don’t particularly find comfort in them, but he never wants to make Gary feel like everyone else does. Make him feel like thoughts he can’t control make him a monster.

“He saw me cry, too, right before I got expelled. Except it wasn’t to him, and I think that really hurt him. He trusted me with a lot, and I think I trusted him with a lot too, but I didn’t go to him about Burton,” she says, voice wavering.

“Because you weren’t friends anymore,” Jimmy says, knowing it’s true.

“Yeah, we hadn’t been friends for a few years. I still wanted to go to him though. Immediately after it happened, I wanted to go to him, because I knew he’d forgive me, and I just really wanted someone who loved me to tell me it wasn’t my fault,” she continues, and he wants to tell her she doesn’t have to, but he thinks maybe she needs this too. Gary kept it bottled inside, Zoe did too, and he thinks that what they really need is to talk about it.

“Who did you cry to?” Jimmy asks, attempting to help her stay grounded. Zoe is silent, and he thinks he hears her sniffle, but her voice is back to the calm it was before.

“Mandy. I was crying to Mandy, and he walked in on us. She told him to leave, and he looked at us, and I thought maybe he was going to tell her off, or say something, but he just left. And I know I can’t be mad at him for it, but it sucked, knowing that I was this close to having him back, but instead I watched him leave without saying anything. I got expelled because I told on Burton. Mandy said telling was the best thing to do,” Zoe says.

“It wasn’t,” Jimmy adds, the obviousness of the statement forcing a laugh out of Zoe.

“Obviously. It’s not her fault. She didn’t know what would happen. But Gary wouldn’t have told me to tell Crabblesnitch. He would have gotten Burton to fuck off too, I think. Without getting the school involved. It could have been avoided, but I was too afraid. I’d really fucked up our friendship, and I was afraid he would have laughed or something. Tell me I deserved it.”

“Gary wouldn’t-” Jimmy starts to defend.

“No,” Zoe interupts, “he definitely wouldn’t have. Mandy thinks he would have. She said so, when I told her I wanted to talk to him about it, but she doesn’t know him, so she couldn’t know.”

Jimmy’s having a hard time processing everything. Zoe’s never talked about what happened with Burton to him beyond the mention of it when they first met. This is a sensitive subject for her, he knows it must be. And it’s weird, how deep a history Zoe and Gary had kept hidden from him.

“But why did you stop being friends to begin with?” Jimmy asks, confused.

“I made friends with girls. Over the summer. I got really close with Mandy. And don’t get me wrong, I’m still close with Mandy, now that we’ve grown up from being stupid brats. But I started maybe ignoring Gary, spending less time with him. The first time we hung out in middle school, he told me my friends were cunts. And I know he was just jealous, because I kept making excuses for why we couldn’t hang out, but I was just so happy to have girl friends,” she explains with a sigh. She sounds frustrated with herself, and Jimmy is confused.

“That’s…normal? Just sounds like petty, middle school shit,” Jimmy says.

“I got mad, and I told him I just wanted to have normal friends for once. I told him I’d call him, and I left before he could say anything, but I…never really called him. We just sort of never spoke after that. End of seventh grade, Mandy started to pull away. We hung out in private, but she wouldn’t acknowledge me in public. Something about images and high school cliches. I dunno, serve me right, I guess,” Zoe finishes, leaning back so she can look up at Jimmy. “He really trusted me, Jimmy. And Pete started trying to avoid him too, and I really fucked up. Gary doesn’t make friends very easily.”

He wants to laugh at that. Like he doesn’t know how hard it is for Gary to even leave a single conversation without a new person added to the endless list of people who disliked him. He promised her he wouldn’t hate her, and he doesn’t, but he can’t help the anger under the surface. For all his masks, Gary was a fragile thing, and he doesn’t like knowing Zoe had added to the cracks on his surface.

“You’re mad,” she whispers, reaching up to cup his face.

“Of course I am. I’m mad at everyone who’s ever hurt Gary,” Jimmy says, trying to keep his voice even.

“You hurt Gary,” she points out, but it’s not vicious. Just a statement.

“I know,” he says, because there’s nothing else to say to that. It’s true. He’s hurt Gary, and Gary’s hurt him. They still hurt each other, physically and emotionally. They’ve left more scars on each other than the ones that can be seen, and yet for some reason, they keep coming back together to clash some more.

Sometimes, Jimmy thinks Petey is the force that comes between them, to soften them, and stop them from clashing so terribly. Sometimes, Jimmy thinks there’s nothing more satisfying than clashing with Gary Smith.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not the original chapter 19. The original chapter 19 was about 90% written, but then my hard drive decided to wipe itself, so now you get a backstory chapter while I lose my god damn mind, and the original chapter 19 will probably be postponed for one of the last few chapters. Shit's about to go down, my friends.

There's always been something very wrong in Petey and Gary's relationship. Gary is mentally ill, and Petey understands that in a way that only someone who knows that person on a deep, personal level ever could. He knows it better than Zoe; better than Jimmy; better even than Gary's mother, because he's known Gary the best, longer than anyone else.

He's watched Gary grow, develop as a person. He knows Gary's past, and he knows Gary's present, and if he has his way, he'll know Gary's future until the day that there's nothing left of Gary to know. Petey, despite everything, is in this for the long haul.

People think he's a masochist, coming back again and again like Gary's his favorite brand of Stockholm Syndrome. But, Petey argues, people are stupidly single sighted.

Nobody understands that Gary has been the only comforting thing in Petey's life for such a long time. They don't understand that Petey doesn't remember his mother, but Gary does, and a majority of the pictures of Petey and his mother have Gary in them too. That has to mean something.

Petey is this crumbling shell of model student and upstanding son, the pressure of which has resulted in deep, unfixable cracks that only Gary had ever been able to see before Jimmy came along. Only Gary had understood that Petey needed those cracks, needed the distraction of keeping himself held together to distract him from the rattling of the broken pieces of his heart.

He never did get over the death of his mother; he doesn't know how to, when he can't remember her face or her voice or the way everyone insists she loved him so deeply. Sure, he has pictures and videos, but the memory of what he's seen of her isn't the same. He remembers the pictures. He remembers the videos. He doesn't remember her.

How do you finish mourning someone you don't remember? He's left with this deep, empty feeling of loss that he's afraid will never go away. No one will ever understand the numbing feeling of loss he experiences every day, but Gary comes close.

For all that the kids of Bullworth gossip about them, for how long they've all known both of them, they know nothing of the full extent of Gary and Petey's relationship. It doesn't occur to them that before there was Bullworth Elementary, their worlds were of their houses and each other.

They don't know that Gary wasn't Petey's first word, but it was up there. They don't know that Gary was the first to ever call him Petey, because it's difficult for a one year old to pronounce Peter. They don't understand that Gary is programmed to hurt easily and that kindness comes harder, but Petey has been the recipient of both more times than anyone else.

The other kids have a history with Gary. Petey's history  _is_  Gary.

—-

It can't be said that he hasn't tried to pull away. That would be a lie; Petey's conscious unconditional adoration of Gary faded long before middle school. Their families parted ways very shortly after Petey's mother's death, but that feeling of sibling companionship clung for a few more years, regardless of how unwilling that feeling was towards the end.

Gary met Zoe when they were in kindergarten, and Petey liked her at first. She tamed Gary, in regards to his interaction with Pete at least, and she didn't make Petey feel stupid for loving Gary because she loved Gary too.

It was different though, he noticed. Gary didn't boss Zoe around. Gary didn't hurt Zoe. Gary was very vocal of his affection for Zoe. And Petey hated it.

During those last few years of elementary, Gary stopped interacting with Petey unless he was harassing him. Petey had always been on the other end of Gary's negative attentions, whether it was bossing him around when they were younger or the more physical bullying when they got older, but there'd been positives too.

There was the few times when they were little, when Petey's mom was still alive, and Gary had allowed Pete to curl up in his lap while they watched cartoons, which Petey was never ever allowed to tell anyone under threat of torture. Or the times, during ill-advised sleepovers, where Gary couldn't sleep through Petey's sobs, so he'd tell Petey stories about what he remembered of the younger boy's mother.

Gary has always been a little mean, but it had never seemed to breach beyond the cruelty spectrum of an older sibling when they were younger. Physical violence had never exceeded beyond a shove, and he'd always stopped after he had Petey in tears, though whether that's a habit from before Petey's mother's death or not, he's not entirely sure.

Zoe took that easy torment away from him.

It's not really her fault, he reasons now that's he's older and looking at it from a different perspective. She hadn't sent Gary after him, and more often than not, she was pulling Gary off of him. But she also occupied all his free, not-tormenting-Petey time. When is he suppose to revel in secret moments of kindness when Zoe's always there to witness any that might happen?

So in middle school, he tries so hard to pull away. Funnily enough, Zoe pulls away too, and Petey's so so angry. How dare Gary throw away their dynamic for some girl who tosses him aside at the first bit of attention from normal kids.

Petey's never had the luxury of making friends, has always had the taint of association with Gary, but he'd never subject the older boy to that betrayal.

Even as he pulls away, he foolishly hopes that maybe without Zoe, things will go back to the way they were. But Petey's not the only one who's angry, and Gary get so much worse, and Petey feels so stupid on the days where missing Gary and getting picked on by Gary coincide.

They coincide a lot.

Petey always misses Gary.

—-

He feels almost vindictively smug when Zoe gets expelled.

It's wrong, he knows it's wrong. He's the good boy, a good person, and he doesn't wish harm upon anyone, even the kids who hurt him. Pete likes to think that he's a nice person, but there's something about Zoe being forced from their little world of Bullworth Academy that makes him feel good inside.

She's still floating around of course. Bullworth itself isn't a very big town despite the number of neighborhoods crammed inside of it. But she isn't immediately in their presence, and that makes him happy.

He's not happy Zoe got molested by Burton, or that the school is taking that fucking pedophile's side, but he is happy she's gone.

Her expulsion hurts Gary, he can tell it does, and that pisses off Petey even more.

Gary and Zoe aren't even friends anymore, haven't been for almost three years, so why should he be so torn up over her expulsion. Zoe has always gotten the best of Gary, and it really isn't fair.

Gary doesn't care that he and Pete don't talk anymore.

Gary doesn't care how the other kids treat Petey, that they kick his ass on a pretty consistent rotation. And doesn't it just figure that the one thing the different faction can cooperate on is when they get to punch Petey in the face?

Gary doesn't care for Petey as much as he does Zoe, who didn't grow up with him, and doesn't even begin to know what it means to put up with Gary.

Gary doesn't give a fuck about Pete, other than when he has him trapped against a wall.

That's not entirely true.

The older boy thinks he's so sly at night, when he thinks Petey is asleep, like he doesn't know Pete's sleeping habits or something. Like Petey can't feel his eyes on him.

The first night, he thought it was a fluke. The muffled noises and heavier than usual breathing in their way too quiet room. He knows it must bother Gary, how quiet the room is at night, but Gary doesn't have a kind word to say to him anymore, so what does he care about his comfort levels?

Gary must be super confident in Petey's ability to sleep through his inability to keep quiet while he jerks off, or maybe he thinks that Pete's so naive, he won't be able to figure out what those noises mean if he wakes up. Either way, the noises and the feeling of Gary's eyes on him leave him feeling restless.

Every time, Petey contemplates letting Gary know he's awake before the older boy finishes. He consider crawling in his bed and letting him do whatever he wants if he'd just talk to Petey again. Anything. Anything that doesn't have the bite all their interactions have now.

Petey feels so stupid.

To think that being jerked off to  _isn_ _'_ _t enough_  attention from Gary.

—-

The bullying takes a drastic turn late eighth grade.

Zoe's gone at this point, Gary's worse than ever, and he's caught between feeling stupid and missing Gary so much, it's dwarfed only by Petey missing his mother. Petey can handle all of that no problem.

Someone sneaks into their room while they're both gone, which is shocking. Gary has made a name for himself, and people aren't usually looking to invade upon his space. Of course, it isn't Gary's space they were looking to invade upon.

Gary's bed is still a nest of blankets, and after a quick check through his side of the room, nothing of his seems to have been messed with. Which means Petey's being targeted.

The thought alone is horrifying. That someone has the nerve to come into Petey's room and take shit. But if that's all it was, Petey would get over it. Would mention offhandedly to Gary that someone had been in their room and taken shit, and that would have solved the problem.

It's what they've taken that leaves Petey sitting in the middle of their floor, sobbing.

Gary comes home a little after that, freezing when he notices that the horrifying noise is in fact coming from his room. From Pete. Whose crying he's been less and less subjected to until this moment.

"The fuck is the matter with you?" he asks, closing the door before someone gets curious or runs off to find a prefect. This is maybe the nicest thing Gary has said to him in a long time, and it only helps to increase his sobbing.

"They stole my blanket," he manages to gasp out between sobs as he tries to calm himself down. He's embarrassed he's been caught reacting like this. Gary's eyes move from Petey, to Petey's bed, and back again.

"No they didn't," Gary says, like he's stupid or blind.

"The one my mom made," Petey corrects, finally managing to subdue himself to hiccuping gasps. He's surprised by the range of emotions that flit across Gary's face in the seconds that follow before it hardens into something more serious.

"Who?" he demands.

Petey sniffles and shrugs, gasping softly in surprise when Gary throws a similar blanket to the one that was stolen from his bed around Pete.

"You kept it?" Petey asks in awe, rubbing the lining.

"Shut up," Gary throws back, storming out of the room.

Petey is thoroughly confused, but takes the opportunity to wrap himself tighter in the blanket that smells like Gary and something else that reminds him of a time when his admiration for Gary was existent and unconditional.

—-

It doesn't take long for Gary to come back, blanket in hand.

He tugs his own blanket from around Petey, clutching it to his chest as he shoves Pete's blanket at him.

"You're getting picked on by nerds. You're such a loser, Petey," Gary says, dropping the blanket when Pete continues to stare at him.

It's true though. It hadn't been hard to track down the blanket. It had to have been someone who'd gone to school with them in Kindergarten, the period in which Petey was still carrying the stupid blanket around with him everywhere. Otherwise, they wouldn't have known to steal it from him. Not to mention, the nerds had had it strung up on a pole like some stupid flag.

Petey reaches out and collects the blanket, pulling it toward him before he returns his eyes to Gary. The older boy gives him an odd look before rolling his eyes, throwing his blanket back into the pile, and flopping on his bed.

Gary startles as his bed dips, and Pete scrambles onto the bed next to him.

"Get off," he says, annoyed, but his words don't hold the same bite. It's everything Pete's wanted for several years now.

"I miss you," Petey says, like it isn't the most embarrassing thing ever.

"You're a faggot!" Gary shouts, nudging Petey with his foot to reiterate his empty demand that Petey get off his bed.

"But Gary, you kept it," Petey pouts.

"Just because your mom was important to me doesn't mean I like you, Femme-boy," the older boy argues, fixing Pete with a frown.

Petey flops forward in reply, so that his chin rests on Gary's knee and his limbs spread out like a starfish.

"Yes it does," he chirps confidently.

"Ugh," Gary groans, looking disgusted, but he makes no move to remove Petey from his person.

Everything gets better. The next year, there's a new boy.

His name is Hopkins.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, it's been a little crazy lately. I apologize for the huge hiatus. Life and lack of motivation definitely contributed. We have about two or three chapters left folks. Was there anyone rooting for Trevor? Strap in. It's about to get shitty.

They’re at lunch, together for a change, when Zoe comes up to them. The boys stop their ribbing of each other to look up at her expectantly, but she ignores them in favor of Pete who hasn’t looked up from his phone.  

“I couldn’t find anything from what you told me…are you sure you can’t fill me in a little bit more? It’s kind of hard when I have to be discreet,” she tells him, like they’re picking up from a conversation that the older two boys aren’t aware of.

“No,” Petey mumbles back, and luckily the boys are distracted by the exchange in general, because otherwise they’d notice the way Pete’s fingers tighten around his phone.

“Sorry then, Pete. Thanks for the math homework anyways,” she says sympathetically. “And I’ll keep an ear out if anything comes up, yeah?”

Petey hums in agreement. He expects the girl to leave then and worries about how to redirect the boys from the suspiciously vague conversation, but he’s pleasantly surprised when she slides into the table next to him to face the boys. 

“The fuck are you talking about?” Gary questions, kicking Zoe when she waves his question away.

“Mind your own business, Smith. Like, maybe the rumors going around that you faggots went on a cheesy date at the carnival. Very sweet. Very heteronormative of you,” Zoe ribs, kicking Gary back.

The older boys scowls, grinning as he flips her off.

“You’re heteronormative, you skank. There’s nothing hetero or normative about this relationship,” he remarks, jabbing Jimmy in the cheek with a finger as if that proves his point. The boy yelps at the sudden pain, knocking shoulders with Gary and laughing when he almost tumbles off the bench.

“You’re toddlers. Do you really have sex? Does it not make you feel filthy fucking each other when you have the combined mental age of a four year old?” Zoe asks.

“Nah, we take turns calling each other Daddy, and it all works out,” Gary says with full sincerity, grinning as Petey chokes, ruining his pretense of ignoring them.

“We absolutely do not!” he protests.

Gary gives him the most perfect, confused look.

“Does…does Jimmy not make you call him Daddy when you fuck?” the older boy asks, sounding unsure, but the shit-eating grin is what really pushes all of Petey’s buttons.

“I don’t make you do anything, you fuck,” Jimmy protests as Zoe laughs at them.

“I…you…do you really?” Petey finally settles on, looking between the boys, much to Zoe’s delight.

“No, that’d be gross,” Gary says, but for the first time, he doesn’t sound as sure. It’s clear by the look on Jimmy and Zoe’s faces that he’s not the only one who picked up on that, but they all thankfully remain quiet.

That doesn’t stop there from being a moment of silence, only to be broken by Zoe before Gary realizes they’ve all taken note of his unspoken confession.

“I called a dude Daddy once, when we fucked,” she blurts. Jimmy gives her this look of shock that she responds to by defiantly refusing to look away. Gary winces, and Petey thinks he must still hold this image of Zoe that that comment just tainted.

“Yeah, what was that like?” Petey asks, out of genuine curiosity.

“It was gross,” she says, tensing when Gary makes an almost undistinguishable noise, realizing that she’d achieved the opposite of what she’d wanted. She quickly backtracks. “Because he was a skeez. He was a total slime ball, and that’s not really the kind of vibe the nickname Daddy is suppose to bring to mind, right? Like, the dude is suppose to be caring and authoritative; he’s not suppose to remind me of a used car salesman, which this dude totally did and-”

“Yeah, okay. Thank you, Zoe. We get it,” Jimmy interrupts, patting her hand.

"Gurney,” Gary blurts, drawing the table’s attention to him.

“What?” Jimmy asks, not noticing that Zoe has balled up her fingers.

“Why do you know that?” she grits out. He narrows his eyes at her, pissed that she’s losing her temper at him when she’s the one who brought it up like it didn’t matter.

“He told me, before he got expelled,” he replies harshly.

“Bullshit. Bullshit, Gary. The Townies don’t like you!” she spits back, fingers curling and uncurling. Gary may have spent a fair amount of time away from Zoe, but he knows her well enough that if he keeps it up, she’s going to hit him.

“Nobody likes me, that doesn’t mean I don’t hear things. He told fucking everybody,” Gary argues, forcing himself to keep his palms flat on the bench.

“He told everybody about sleeping with Zoe…and then he got expelled?” Petey tests, and Zoe makes an angry noise.

“He got expelled because he was stealing exam answers,” Zoe insists, her voice tight in a way that Gary is not unfamiliar with.

“Like that fuckhead was smart enough to steal exam answers. He got expelled because he doesn’t know how to keep his mouth shut,” Gary says.

Zoe shakes, mouth opening and closing. It’s actually impressive how well she’s containing her usually uncontrollable temper. 

“Listen to me, Gary Smith. I don’t need or want your protection,” she hisses.

“Look where that got you,” he says calmly. They stare at each other for what is only seconds, but feels like an eternity, before Zoe is storming out of the cafeteria. Gary watches her go silently as he clenches his fingers against the bench.

Jimmy wonder why they can’t have one meal without someone storming out.  

—

It’s dark by the time they get out of dinner, and Petey sighs as he looks up at the sky. 

“Why’s it get so late so quickly?” he asks, pouting at the general unfairness of the world. 

“It’s five thirty whether the sun or the crickets are out,” Gary points out, rolling his eyes. Petey huffs, knocking shoulders with the other boy.

“I’m going to do homework,” he says pointedly. Gary nods.

“I’m going to smoke. Do you want a play by play of that, or is that enough?”

“Shut up. Don’t stay out here all night,” Petey huffs, waving behind him as he heads off towards the boys dorm. Gary turns to Jimmy, staring at him expectantly. Seems like every time he goes for a smoke lately, Jimmy’s all up on him. He’s not sure if the other boy is trying to make a point or if he just likes keeping Gary company.

“Want one?” he offers, pulling his pack out of his back pocket. He climbs onto the railing, taking the extra time to situate himself, buying himself a few more minutes of ignoring the fact that Jimmy clearly wants to have this Zoe discussion now.

“Yeah, all the times I’ve complained about you smoking. It’s just because I’m jealous,” Jimmy muses, sitting against the stair rail wall between Gary’s legs. He tugs on an ankle playfully, snorting when Gary wobbles before regaining his balance. 

“Quit it, asshole,” Gary demands, lightly kicking at the hand that won’t remove itself from his leg.

“Gary-” Jimmy starts, distracted as Trevor exits the building. Gary’s full attention is on the boy, glaring like he can off the boy with just that. He can’t obviously. Has tried enough times to be sure of it. Trevor responds with a huffed laugh and a smirk as he passes, but no comment is made.

“That was weird,” Jimmy comments, eyes following the boy as he walks in the direction of the library rather than the dorms. 

“Asshole gives me the creeps. Told you since day one,” Gary agrees, taking a drag from his cigarette before he finally looks away from the direction Trevor disappeared.

“Yeah…Anyways. About Zoe,” Jimmy starts.

“Jimmy?” Beatrice calls softly, slowly stepping towards them. She’s cautious, likely because of Gary, but even so. She seems nervous.

“Kind of busy here, Beatrice,” Jimmy sighs, wondering if he’s ever going to be able to get this conversation out of Gary.

“Oh…I know. It’s just…here,” she mumbles, thrusting something out at Jimmy. He takes it, staring at it oddly before Gary snatches it up.

“What the hell is this? It’s gross,” he laughs, flipping open the notebook.

“Beatrice?” Jimmy asks, looking between the girl and Gary who looks more and more enraged the more he flips through the notebook.

“I found it,” she says.

—

“What the fuck is this?” Gary demands, and Petey jumps when something smacks against the desk and slides in front of him. He glances at the doorway. Gary looks furious, and Jimmy looks disappointed but just as angry; Petey doesn’t have to look down to know what’s in front of him. He almost doesn’t want to, as if refusing makes it less real. 

The entire notebook is ruined, water stained and ripped. It’s not an appropriate first reaction, but Petey is hurt. These are his feelings. This notebook is the embodiment of his relationship, and some asshole destroyed it. That alone brings forth the burning sting of holding back tears. It’s hardly the only thing he has to cry about though.

“Where did you find it?” he asks, voice small. He refuses to look at them, keeping his eyes on the notebook. Gary scoffs, but it’s Jimmy who speaks. 

“Beatrice gave it to us. She said she found it in the girl’s bathroom,” he says. Jimmy sounds calm, but Petey knows better than to think that he’s going to get anymore sympathy from him than Gary. The truth is, Jimmy has perfected holding his temper, and that just makes him all the scarier. “Why was there a notebook full of very personal information in the girl’s bathroom, Pete?”

Petey bites his lip. He’s not sure how to word this to make it sound less awful than it is.

“I lost it.” 

“Pete-”

“How dare you,” Gary interrupts coldly.

Petey tenses at the tone. Gary gets angry, and it’s explosive. It’s like every other aspect of Gary’s personality, brash and hard to ignore. Calm fury has never been his gig. It’s enough to force Pete’s eyes to the two boys.

“I just wanted to have something to commemorate the relationship,” Petey stumbles, cursing the waver in his voice. The most dangerous thing you can do is enter a fight with Gary without 100% confidence. 

“Hey, stupid. I don’t give a shit about your little diary. You can write whatever you want, but did you ever consider we might want to know that personal information about us was floating around somewhere in school?” Gary demands.

“Is this what you bribed Zoe into doing for you? Look for this, instead of coming to us when you know we could have had this shit locked down immediately?” Jimmy asks.

“I didn’t want you to be mad-”

“That went real well, didn’t it, Pete?” the oldest boy yells, slamming his fist into the door frame. Jimmy’s looking nervously into the hall, concerned at being overheard, but he’s not jumping in to help Petey.

Petey stares, wide-eyed. He’d been so stupid to keep it a secret. He’d been so stupid to think having the journal at all would be worse than not letting them know he’d lost it.

“What were you thinking, Pete?” Jimmy asks, crossing his arms.

He sniffles, feeling the heat of tears that were finally starting to fall, and he feels horrible. Gary’s shaking his head in disgust, like Petey crying is a nuance all it’s own. Petey hates it. Crying is generally the last thing he wants to do in front of Gary and Jimmy, who always seem to have their shit together despite everything.

“Things have just been so rocky lately,” he gasps, having lost what little control he’d been keeping hold of. “I didn’t want- I was afraid.”

“Bullshit. Bullshit, Pete. Everything has been rocky because of you!” Gary growls. Petey makes a wounded noise, digging his fingers into his palm.

“Gary, fuck!” Jimmy yells.

“What? It’s true. He’s been up my ass, probably because of this bullshit, and he refuses to not be a stupid, little slut about Trevor-" 

“This has nothing to do with Trevor!” Petey screams, swiping his arm out and knocking shit off his desk. It makes him feel the littlest bit better, and he thinks maybe he understands Gary a little more in that moment.

“Everything has to do with Trevor. He’s fucking using you, and you’re too stupid to realize it.”

Petey gapes, forcing out a harsh laugh.

“Using me? For fucking what, Gary? What have I got to offer Trevor?”

“You think I reject Trevor, and suddenly he wants to be your best friend, that’s not weird? That doesn’t mean something?” Gary scoffs, shaking his head in disbelief. Disbelief that Petey could be so naive.

“Fuck you, Gary,” Petey snaps, voice stuttering through a sob.

“No, fuck you, Pete. Get the fuck out,” Gary snaps back.

Petey stops, feeling himself shake but unable to do anything to control it. He can’t have heard that right. Doesn’t know what to do but knows he doesn’t want to leave. When they first came in, he’d wanted to be anywhere but here. Now? Now he’s not sure what he’ll do if he has to be anywhere else.

“What?” he asks, devastation and something else coloring his voice. 

“Get. Out.”

Pete’s pretty sure he stops breathing. He looks desperately at Jimmy who always, always jumps to his aid. Always tells Gary when he’s doing too much, getting too angry, being irrational. He says nothing. He does nothing.

Petey bolts, shoving through them to get out of the room. He’s not sure what he’s going to do. Where he’s going to go. It’s cold when he bursts through the dorm doors. He forgot a jacket, and it’s fucking November in New Hampshire. It hurts. He can’t breathe, and his lungs are burning, and it won’t be long before the rest of him hurts just the same. 

“Petey?”

He looks up. Trevor is standing in the middle of the plaza, staring curiously. Not angry, because Trevor is never angry at Petey. He stumbles up to the other boy, choking back sobs.

“I fucked up. I fucked up really bad,” he cries.

“Hey, you must be freezing. It’s okay. Hold on, hold on,” Trevor calms, putting down whatever he’s holding and tugging his sweater over his head. “Hey, put this on. You’re okay.”

Petey’s not the most cooperative he’s ever been at the moment, but Trevor still somehow manages to pull his sweater on Petey. He gasps, trying to bring his breathing back to normal even through the sobs.

“What happened?” Trevor asks, bending down to pick up whatever he’d set down to help Petey. It’s two cups, the small styrofoam type you see in offices. Petey doesn’t think to question why he’d have two. 

“They’re never going to forgive me,” he says, biting his lip so hard he thinks it might start bleeding. He’s not sure. It stings like the rest of him. 

“Take this. You’re so cold; it’ll help,” Trevor offers, forcing one of the cups in Petey’s hand. It’s warm, he can feel the heat seeping through the cup, and it smells so comforting. Hot chocolate has always reminded Pete of his mom, for whatever reason.  

He looks up at Trevor, taking a sip when the boy smiles at him. It’s so good, and it feels amazing when the rest of Petey feels like death. Just the perfect temperature to drink without burning. He downs it quickly, reveling in the way it warms him up.

“Where did you get hot chocolate?” Petey asks, huddling closer to the other boy for warmth. His cup is also empty, making Petey question why he had it at all. Trevor rubs his hands along Petey’s arms, grinning when the boy flushes. 

“What happened?” he repeats, now that the other boy has finally seemed to calm down.

“You’re going to get cold without your sweater,” Petey worries instead of answering. Trevor shakes head. 

“It’s fine, Pete,” he dismisses. “Now really, what happened?” 

He stares, disbelief at how honest Trevor seems at this moment. Wonders how Gary could be so wrong about a person. Trevor clearly cares a lot about Petey if the way he’s looking at him now means anything.

“I did something bad. Something that broke their trust. I…what if they don’t forgive me?” Petey asks, shaking off the sudden feeling of exhaustion. Crying must have taken it out of him.

“I don’t think they deserve you anyways, Pete,” Trevor says softly, bringing a hand up to Petey’s face. It’s cold. It hurts. Trevor never hurts him.

“I…I feel weird,” Pete mumbles, bringing his eyes back up to Trevor’s. The other boy is still smiling. Doesn’t seem worried at all.

“You’re okay. A lot has happened, right?" 

Petey shakes his head, dizziness setting in at the action. He gasps.

“No, no…I feel really weird.”

“Don’t worry, Pete,” Trevor says, grinning. Petey makes a small noise, slumping against him as he blacks out, and Trevor catches him, holding him tight against his chest. “It’s normal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, I started a tumblr for motivation where I'll answer in-verse questions and take prompts for drabbles. Even if I haven't updated in a while, there's sure to be activity over there. Come love me at my [tumblr](http://beathimbacktotheghetto.tumblr.com)


	21. Not A Chapter

I've received a couple messages about this and I announced it on my tumblr but it never got updated here but, unfortunately this story is never going to get finished. And I worry about people getting excited for an update only to receive bad news but I think it's more fair to inform people so they can look forward to other things rather than something hopeless. There's a lot of reasons why but the primary one is that I don't like it. I don't like the characterizations. I don't like the plot. I don't like it. I started this fic when I was sixteen and I've come a long way in terms of writing and how I see the characters. This story can't be fixed with a simple rewrite because it's not a story I want to tell anymore. 

I'm going to leave it up because I know a lot of people really loved it and I appreciate that more than you can know. I hope you can love the other things I write just as much.

As always, I'm over [here](http://beathimbacktotheghetto.tumblr.com) on tumblr where I also post all my writing including things I consider too short to post here (which is a majority of my writing. I like talking about Bully and my writing; feel free to join me.


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